Jump to content

Not even my family knows I exist


Thanos

Recommended Posts

I had a chance to go up to Chicago to visit with family for Halloween. What a mistake. For the whole time I was there nobody wanted to chat with me. No how are yous or what's going on or anything. I was also the only one there alone. Everyone else had a family and kids and interesting things about their jobs or neighborhood to chat about and I got nothing. Completely ignored. If my own family won't recognize my existence what chance do I have with anyone else? Why should I keep living if nobody notices me or cares about my "life"?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know how you feel.  There have been plenty of times where I've gone to see family and the only ones there was me and the other person and neither one of us said anything.  I'm the loser of the family.  I'm sure they will make a joke about putting me at the kid's table this year during the holidays even though I'm 42.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Thanos said:

I had a chance to go up to Chicago to visit with family for Halloween. What a mistake. For the whole time I was there nobody wanted to chat with me. No how are yous or what's going on or anything. I was also the only one there alone. Everyone else had a family and kids and interesting things about their jobs or neighborhood to chat about and I got nothing. Completely ignored. If my own family won't recognize my existence what chance do I have with anyone else? Why should I keep living if nobody notices me or cares about my "life"?

 

because we care..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Thanos said:

I had a chance to go up to Chicago to visit with family for Halloween. What a mistake. For the whole time I was there nobody wanted to chat with me. No how are yous or what's going on or anything. I was also the only one there alone. Everyone else had a family and kids and interesting things about their jobs or neighborhood to chat about and I got nothing. Completely ignored. If my own family won't recognize my existence what chance do I have with anyone else? Why should I keep living if nobody notices me or cares about my "life"?

 

dont compare yourself to the others. how do you know just because they had a family, kids, jobs, they are truly happy? they could be miserable and pretending to be happy in front of others. don't assume is all im saying. i dont wish any harm or anything on them, but you just never know because people show off and pretend a lot in this lifetime just to please others.

It has been a tough couple of years with covid, etc, and eventually I think if you continue working on yourself, you will find your way , yourself. 

We have this tendency to compare , i know because people ask me about my love life, and why don't i have kids, etc. but it's no one's business, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. You just make sure you do what feels right for you , and only you, and keep moving on

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Thanos said:

I had a chance to go up to Chicago to visit with family for Halloween. What a mistake. For the whole time I was there nobody wanted to chat with me. No how are yous or what's going on or anything. I was also the only one there alone. Everyone else had a family and kids and interesting things about their jobs or neighborhood to chat about and I got nothing. Completely ignored. If my own family won't recognize my existence what chance do I have with anyone else? Why should I keep living if nobody notices me or cares about my "life"?

 

I can relate to you. I have the same problem. I am alone in the family. 

We are here with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

dont compare yourself to the others. how do you know just because they had a family, kids, jobs, they are truly happy? they could be miserable and pretending to be happy in front of others. don't assume is all im saying. i dont wish any harm or anything on them, but you just never know because people show off and pretend a lot in this lifetime just to please others.

It has been a tough couple of years with covid, etc, and eventually I think if you continue working on yourself, you will find your way , yourself. 

We have this tendency to compare , i know because people ask me about my love life, and why don't i have kids, etc. but it's no one's business, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. You just make sure you do what feels right for you , and only you, and keep moving on

I totally agree with you, ladysmurf.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ladysmurf has really good points.

Another thing to consider is their intentions are unknown. It could be possible that if they felt you were down in the dumps or not thriving they thought it rude to spotlight you and maybe just enjoy the time with them without being publicly put on the spot for some people it can be ridicule and not enjoyable especially if people are shy.

Ultimately they are still your family, if your family does good that is also a part of you that does good. We cannot know the intentions of other people all the time but we can still judge the outcomes. It is possible they meant well but it went horribly wrong, if you feel like they dont pay you any attention you could initiate conversation on your terms with what topics you want to talk about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Thanos, sorry to hear that you felt abandoned by your family.  It must have been gut-wrenching awful to sit in the company of others and feeling as if everyone looked right past you or right through you without seeing you - and this from people who you are very well acquainted with.  I'm new here and have read a bit through your previous threads.  I really feel for you and where you are in life.  You should first of all know that you ARE cared for.  Gaging from the response here, quite a few people care about you and your wellbeing.  I know that right now you don't feel that your family cares and that hurts but what I also get is how you are hurting yourself by negative self-talk.  If you were to be an observer in that room seeing yourself all alone with no-one talking to you, what would you say to yourself?  Mostly likely your response would be to go up to someone and start making conversation for example ask THEM how they are.  You might have been pleasantly surprised.  There's almost always a reason why people act the way they do, but you won't know unless you find out.  Sometimes we feel its Me Against The World because we have labelled the world as a bad place and labelled ourselves as a victim in that bad place.  But know this, you are not a victim, you are loved and you have a treasure trove of potential deep within you waiting to be unleashed.  Don't give up on yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Motivate Your Mind said:

Hi Thanos, sorry to hear that you felt abandoned by your family.  It must have been gut-wrenching awful to sit in the company of others and feeling as if everyone looked right past you or right through you without seeing you - and this from people who you are very well acquainted with.  I'm new here and have read a bit through your previous threads.  I really feel for you and where you are in life.  You should first of all know that you ARE cared for.  Gaging from the response here, quite a few people care about you and your wellbeing.  I know that right now you don't feel that your family cares and that hurts but what I also get is how you are hurting yourself by negative self-talk.  If you were to be an observer in that room seeing yourself all alone with no-one talking to you, what would you say to yourself?  Mostly likely your response would be to go up to someone and start making conversation for example ask THEM how they are.  You might have been pleasantly surprised.  There's almost always a reason why people act the way they do, but you won't know unless you find out.  Sometimes we feel its Me Against The World because we have labelled the world as a bad place and labelled ourselves as a victim in that bad place.  But know this, you are not a victim, you are loved and you have a treasure trove of potential deep within you waiting to be unleashed.  Don't give up on yourself.

I tried that and look where it got me. I had my costume, I brought some fun holiday sodas, and I tried to talk to some of them but it was like they looked right past me. Invisible. I think the main reason is because we have nothing in common. I have my massive board game collection and conventions and cooking but none of them respond to it at all. Probably because they have a family and kids to look out for. If only I could have a family of my own maybe I could get them to notice me again. But that won't happen anytime soon.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/2/2021 at 11:25 AM, ladysmurf said:

dont compare yourself to the others. how do you know just because they had a family, kids, jobs, they are truly happy? they could be miserable and pretending to be happy in front of others. don't assume is all im saying. i dont wish any harm or anything on them, but you just never know because people show off and pretend a lot in this lifetime just to please others.

It has been a tough couple of years with covid, etc, and eventually I think if you continue working on yourself, you will find your way , yourself. 

We have this tendency to compare , i know because people ask me about my love life, and why don't i have kids, etc. but it's no one's business, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. You just make sure you do what feels right for you , and only you, and keep moving on

I've "worked on" myself for the last 10 years. At some point I have to admit that I'm broken beyond repair and just give up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Thanos said:

I've "worked on" myself for the last 10 years. At some point I have to admit that I'm broken beyond repair and just give up.

Thanos, never give up.........I've worked on myself for decades, because this illness has destroyed me......some days I want to give up, yet here I am still...after decades..can you think of a hobby/ something new to try? to volunteer? Dont care about what others say, focus on you. I know it's hard to do this but that's the only way you go will forward in life.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...