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Ellie Rose -- (wonderful name, by the way!)

Yes.  I get it.  I'm sorry you feel down, because when you're down, it's so hard to look . . . up.  The only thing that gets me by is dreaming of a better future that I have no idea how to get to.  Being stuck sucks, and I have to find a way to get out of this marsh, this sadness, this grieving for the life I never had and the one I may never see.  Getting "unstuck in time," like Billy Pilgrim (ever read Slaughterhouse Five?) enough to take one step forward.  Maybe tomorrow or next week I'll feel well enough to take another step.  It is said that just putting one foot in front of the other is the only way out, the only way forward.  And depression says you can't do it.  

Even when I'm "happy" there's still a kind of sadness in me.  I had a grief counselor tell me that maybe it's okay to be who I really am--a little sad--and not have to explain it to anyone.  The trick is keeping the bigger shroud of darkness at bay.  Like making a kind of truce. 

Ellie Rose, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry you're in pain, and that I hope that you, that we, can take steps forward to something better.

Thinking of you and wishing you hope and courage --

WOTL (woman of the light)

 

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On 10/7/2021 at 3:01 PM, womanofthelight said:

Ellie Rose -- (wonderful name, by the way!)

Yes.  I get it.  I'm sorry you feel down, because when you're down, it's so hard to look . . . up.  The only thing that gets me by is dreaming of a better future that I have no idea how to get to.  Being stuck sucks, and I have to find a way to get out of this marsh, this sadness, this grieving for the life I never had and the one I may never see.  Getting "unstuck in time," like Billy Pilgrim (ever read Slaughterhouse Five?) enough to take one step forward.  Maybe tomorrow or next week I'll feel well enough to take another step.  It is said that just putting one foot in front of the other is the only way out, the only way forward.  And depression says you can't do it.  

Even when I'm "happy" there's still a kind of sadness in me.  I had a grief counselor tell me that maybe it's okay to be who I really am--a little sad--and not have to explain it to anyone.  The trick is keeping the bigger shroud of darkness at bay.  Like making a kind of truce. 

Ellie Rose, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry you're in pain, and that I hope that you, that we, can take steps forward to something better.

Thinking of you and wishing you hope and courage --

WOTL (woman of the light)

 

thank you. yours is cooler. I am so down because of abuse xo

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