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I thought my PTSD would be better guess I was wrong

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My last post was me talking about stuff like I could finally move on. PTSD was like nope your with me. I use humor to cope so have to say something because people will think otherwise. I have high blood pressure when I’m anxious. I just took a PRN. I feel shocks through my body. I’m gonna have to make an appointment with a cardiologist.

I’m 36 with heart problems lucky me. I almost fell while just taking a shower. I should say be careful if your using Seroquel because it gave me high cholesterol. I had to stop taking it. It helped me sleep so damned if you do and damned if you don’t.  I have stiffness all through my body. My diet isn’t great but I’ve slowly tried to make better choices. I really wasn’t overweight until I took depression meds. I really just think it’s the stress now. I don’t take an SSRI anymore.  

Maybe my body will be less stressed out if I get past this part. I could just be telling myself that. The numbness emotionally and the stress I feel through my body is messed up. All I see is me trying so hard to get better but my body is breaking down. Hopefully I can respond to anyone who helps and ignore the random internet strangers with harmful posts. 

This whole week I was just like I’m really just unlucky. It’s so weird to me because all I’ve wanted to do is help people. I guess at least now I’m forced to help myself. I guess im depressed but I just feel cold hearted. Just like how much can you take as a person. Maybe im fooling myself and things can get better from healing. It just feels like I don’t care. I usually don’t care but this is like 100% im old and im about to die not caring. 

Edited by mrrd117711
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Seroquel messed up my health too.  Does it make you feel better sure but at a high cost for a lot of people.  I'll never take it again.  I put on 150 pounds but I felt "better" which was just snowed numb too gone to care what was going on on the med.  The only time I really feel better is when I hide from people.  They are always poison for me because if someone was so awful they gave me PTSD what are the other people capable of is constantly in my mind.

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I’m still out of it but I’ll respond later. OCD isn’t fun. As an update I went to ER they said I had low potassium. Definitely didn’t know it could be that bad. It can effect muscle function and cause heart issues. Still have to be careful because my mom told me she had a stroke in her 30s. Fun thought to have but that’s reality. I looked up online having a stroke with low potassium increases your chance of dying. F*** my life but anyways. A lot of my symptoms are going away. I guess at least my chances are better now. 

My head and chest still feel stiff. Yea I’m already triggered. Just wanted to let people know in case it happens to them. 

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