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Trying to cope with PTSD is messed up


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I literally have shocks idk if it’s inflammation or lactic acid throughout my body. My sleep is sporadic and my appetite isn’t good. I go to therapy every two weeks. My medication don’t do anything and the messed up part is the ones that did help me gave me crazy side effects. So I’m basically just on a low dose of wellbutrin that doesn’t really do anything. 
 

Also I was on seroquel to sleep for many years. Now I’m in my mid 30s with high cholesterol. I was on Remeron but I was cramping up at night. I did TMS therapy which helped me. It basically stimulates your brain to create new cells. Idk if it’s depression or PTSD that shocks your brain and can stop it from producing new cells. This is the whole stuck thing people go through. It’s really weird and messed up to me. Until recently there was only ECT which works but can be painful. TMS is basically only slightly uncomfortable. 
 

I want to believe I can live a somewhat ok life with my symptoms. The reality is it’s never even been close. I try to focus on the feeling to heal but I actually see it as feeling to hurt and be exhausted. My mind is racing and I literally only sometimes post on this. I used to journal but it actually triggers me now. I don’t have supportive friends or family. I guess I’m just lucky my attitude has always been a strength. It’s just only so much that’s gonna do. I guess if nothing else I have a lot to complain about lol. 

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I ended up looking stuff up on high cortisol. It talked about supplements that could help. I had omega-3 which helped me. I tried glycine in the past which helped me calm down. I saw it can affect your platelets and I was having chest tightness so maybe my heart.  I stopped taking it but now didn’t know of anything else. I guess omega-3 isn’t really gonna calm me down but it helps regulate your brain I guess. 
 

It would be better if I ate fish but never really liked it. I guess to most people it’s strange that I’m responding to my own post. Especially one without comments but I guess that just normal for me. Always been a loner so in a weird way it seems this is better for me. I just deal with stuff my own way because I can’t make it work with someone else’s way. What can you do. 

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11 hours ago, mrrd117711 said:

I literally have shocks idk if it’s inflammation or lactic acid throughout my body. My sleep is sporadic and my appetite isn’t good.

I experience this too, particularly when im having a flash back, my body gets random violent jolts, like im rejecting the flashback and to make it go away. My sleep too is also poor, im taking Remeron now but sometimes im still waking up during the night, but its really been helping me sleep. Before I started it I wasnt sleeping before 3 am most nights. I still have nightmares tho but at least most nights im getting some sleep. PTSD is a bitch and im sorry youre struggling.

Im a loner too, so hi fellow 🙂 its difficult and I dont know a way through but most of the time im im too scared and panicky and depressed and anxious to function, but im still here and ill offer my support on here when I can!

What are you taking now? I think maybe im starting to find a good combination that works for me, hopefully, my thoughts arent as racy anymore so thats something at least

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11 hours ago, Charlee said:

I experience this too, particularly when im having a flash back, my body gets random violent jolts, like im rejecting the flashback and to make it go away. My sleep too is also poor, im taking Remeron now but sometimes im still waking up during the night, but its really been helping me sleep. Before I started it I wasnt sleeping before 3 am most nights. I still have nightmares tho but at least most nights im getting some sleep. PTSD is a bitch and im sorry youre struggling.

Im a loner too, so hi fellow 🙂 its difficult and I dont know a way through but most of the time im im too scared and panicky and depressed and anxious to function, but im still here and ill offer my support on here when I can!

What are you taking now? I think maybe im starting to find a good combination that works for me, hopefully, my thoughts arent as racy anymore so thats something at least

I’ll try to respond to this when I’m not in such a bad place. I’m a nice person but I’m hurting right now and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I rather not burn bridges. Maybe me saying this makes me look crazy.  I just don’t get why it’s better to not say what’s really going on. Something about being direct bothers most people. 

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3 hours ago, mrrd117711 said:

I’ll try to respond to this when I’m not in such a bad place. I’m a nice person but I’m hurting right now and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I rather not burn bridges. Maybe me saying this makes me look crazy.  I just don’t get why it’s better to not say what’s really going on. Something about being direct bothers most people. 

I know exactly what you mean!! 

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14 hours ago, Charlee said:

I experience this too, particularly when im having a flash back, my body gets random violent jolts, like im rejecting the flashback and to make it go away. My sleep too is also poor, im taking Remeron now but sometimes im still waking up during the night, but its really been helping me sleep. Before I started it I wasnt sleeping before 3 am most nights. I still have nightmares tho but at least most nights im getting some sleep. PTSD is a bitch and im sorry youre struggling.

Im a loner too, so hi fellow 🙂 its difficult and I dont know a way through but most of the time im im too scared and panicky and depressed and anxious to function, but im still here and ill offer my support on here when I can!

What are you taking now? I think maybe im starting to find a good combination that works for me, hopefully, my thoughts arent as racy anymore so thats something at least

Ok another time where processing my PTSD is really weird. I appreciate the support and hopefully didn’t make it uncomfortable by being direct. I have heard some good stories when people get results from their medications. I can’t really say I’m one of those people. I just focus a lot on therapy and supplements. I’ve been taking Omega-3 lately cause my brain has felt burnt out. I guess they help regulate the brain.

I read somewhere your brain uses a lot of fat when stressed. Also important to drink water.

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I don't think anything has ever helped me.  I'm a magnet for the same type of people over and over.  That's the worst part.  People see me as an easy target and pretend to be my friend so they can get what they want from me.  I guess the only real way is to continue to cut myself off from society.  Sure there are good people or so I've been told but I'm tired of trying to find them.

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50 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I don't think anything has ever helped me.  I'm a magnet for the same type of people over and over.  That's the worst part.  People see me as an easy target and pretend to be my friend so they can get what they want from me.  I guess the only real way is to continue to cut myself off from society.  Sure there are good people or so I've been told but I'm tired of trying to find them.

I think when I read what people say I really look deep into the meaning. I can relate to what your saying because I too am that nice person who puts people first. Idk if it’s being highly sensitive or an empath on top. Maybe you want people to treat you good in return. 
 

I say that because what you wrote made me think of learning to forgive people and also high standards. I always knew I had to forgive people as well as myself. I just don’t know when that day will happen. I also have high standards which some people will get defensive and think that means I’m trying to sound better than them. It just means I want things to be as good as possible. 
 

I also see depression as constantly getting in the way of being able to see the good in situations. I say that while I’m sick with depression to the point I’ve been in bed all day for past couple of days. Maybe I should just relate to people and not try to always help. It’s really hard for me not to give advice even when it’s not asked of me. Sorry if I said anything that might offend you. I’ve had those same thoughts in my head.
 

Hopefully one day both of us can find peace of mind. I hope something I said helped you see things from an outside perspective. It seems impossible sometimes to help yourself. Then someone else says something and it all clicks. 

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I don't think anything has ever helped me.  I'm a magnet for the same type of people over and over.  That's the worst part.  People see me as an easy target and pretend to be my friend so they can get what they want from me.  I guess the only real way is to continue to cut myself off from society.  Sure there are good people or so I've been told but I'm tired of trying to find them.

I was kinda vague so by forgiving people I meant like being hurt by people can make you think new people will hurt you. Also you said how people don’t help you so it sounds like you like helping people. So you feel that like your the only one giving.
 

I meant the high standards because to a lot of people the way people are is normal. When you want things to be better because of high standards you get disappointed. I really wish I could edit after I post something lol. 

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14 hours ago, sober4life said:

I don't think anything has ever helped me.  I'm a magnet for the same type of people over and over.  That's the worst part.  People see me as an easy target and pretend to be my friend so they can get what they want from me.  I guess the only real way is to continue to cut myself off from society.  Sure there are good people or so I've been told but I'm tired of trying to find them.

I attract these sorts too and its so difficult to know if they genuinely are interested in you or if they have an agenda. I cant tell the difference so I end up in bad situations. I feel the only way to avoid this is to cut myself off from society too. I know not all people are bad but my ability to distinguish between has been burnt along with the ability to trust.

 

13 hours ago, mrrd117711 said:

learning to forgive people and also high standards. I always knew I had to forgive people as well as myself. I just don’t know when that day will happen. I also have high standards which some people will get defensive and think that means I’m trying to sound better than them. It just means I want things to be as good as possible. 

I think this is ok, we should have high standards, weve all been hurt and used and manipulated so need standards so we dont get those people again. I know I need to forgive those of the post and forgive  myself for my part in it.. I dont want to forgive anyone, except myself.. I think I deserve to be forgiven, but they dont. So cant you move on and heal without forgiving them? I do not know. I don't know.

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8 hours ago, Charlee said:

I attract these sorts too and its so difficult to know if they genuinely are interested in you or if they have an agenda. I cant tell the difference so I end up in bad situations. I feel the only way to avoid this is to cut myself off from society too. I know not all people are bad but my ability to distinguish between has been burnt along with the ability to trust.

 

I think this is ok, we should have high standards, weve all been hurt and used and manipulated so need standards so we dont get those people again. I know I need to forgive those of the post and forgive  myself for my part in it.. I dont want to forgive anyone, except myself.. I think I deserve to be forgiven, but they dont. So cant you move on and heal without forgiving them? I do not know. I don't know.

I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m definitely still working on it. I think it complicates things with new people. I’ve had times in the past where I’m around good people. I then start asking myself will this last. If it doesn’t work out will it hurt too much. Maybe they won’t like me after awhile. The list just goes on and on.
 

Maybe just last week I was in that same place. I think I’m trying to see the other way. I was triggered by an anniversary and also trying to process PTSD. Healing is not fun or feels good. I think of like video games or movies where they heal your wounds and they are like wow this is amazing lol. The good side is I feel more like myself and less my symptoms.
 

PTSD to me is weird as hell because the more you face it the more extreme it feels. I have pretty crazy mood swings because I’ll go from being ok and than completely overwhelmed. I guess before it was just all bad all the time. Also people probably think I’m crazy cause I feel confident taking about this mess. I think the more I deal with the stronger I feel. It’s like I accomplished something so I feel better idk. 

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