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How to help my brother?


Zagor

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I haven't been active on this website for a few months mostly because in May I started feeling better. I am far from being satisfied but comparing to the 10-11 month before May it is much better most of the time. I did not do any medication changes. I hope it stays this way and gets even better but with this "new covid wave" and winter coming up (I think I have seasonal affective disorder) I am a bit worried. Maybe last winter was so bad because of so much distress in my life and my father passing away in February.

 

Right now my biggest problem is my brother. After being 2 years on dexedrine (not abusing or misusing it) he weaned off in August last year. All of his symptoms spiked up including ptsd, c-ptsd, ocd, depression, restlessness, severe depersonalization and more. What makes it all worse is as soon as he started tapering the amphetamine down he couldn't get enough sleep. Sometimes he can get 8-9 hours of sleep but not restorative (quality) deep sleep. He has another sleep disorder from before that he cannot control but at least he could get enough sleep even if he sleeps during the day. Going sleep deprived for 1 year is terrible. Imagine if you sleep only 2-3 hours per night all the time, it's a torture.

He has a sleep specialist who, after some tests tried some pills, blue light and melatonin which did nothing. What's even worse he can't tolerate any drugs that he desperatelly needs such as antipsychotics or antidepressants or anything sedative. Benzos have no effect because he reached tolerance. His sleep specialist who is also his psychiatrist said if he gets admitted to hospital it will be much worse because he works there and he says the noises and stuff would make his sleeping and anger even worse. I didn't mention that my brother is very suicidal and has severe memory problems since last year. We believe the amphetamine caused sleep problems for sure and spiked other issues but no doctor is willing to admit that.

I am writing this out of fear and desperation with a slight hope that someone may give me an advice.

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I only wish I had advice for you. That is heartbreaking and sounds like a painful situation.

The only thing I could add is, even if you don't know what to do, being there for your brother will continue to help. Be there to help him get the help he needs through specialists, and consider carefully their advice. Sometimes there are situations we want to change, but we are limited in what we can actually do. Maybe someone on this forum has some concrete advice for what to do, I hope so. 

It is a difficult path your brother is on. Being there for him when you are able is honorable.

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It sounds like he is kind of trapped. If he keeps taking the heavy stuff long term that could be bad for his health but without it he also needs it.

The only two things I can think of are to focus on basics, natural remedies. Make sure he stays hydrated, gets out for sunshine, has healthy hobbies and help him avoid his triggers for ptsd. The second is be proactive with the doctor and bring up all your concerns. If you believe the doctor is failing your brother get a new doctor

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  • 1 month later...
On 8/30/2021 at 2:27 AM, Evergreenforst4 said:

It sounds like he is kind of trapped. If he keeps taking the heavy stuff long term that could be bad for his health but without it he also needs it.

The only two things I can think of are to focus on basics, natural remedies. Make sure he stays hydrated, gets out for sunshine, has healthy hobbies and help him avoid his triggers for ptsd. The second is be proactive with the doctor and bring up all your concerns. If you believe the doctor is failing your brother get a new doctor

Looks like the hospital is the only option. He is totally bed ridden. We all fear hospitalization for him because like I said his lack of sleep is worsening if not causing all the mental issues. Being chronically sleep deprived will torture and **** any person if there is no remedy. But there is no help at home. He is getting just worse.

The major fear is drug intolerance. In the hospital they will force him to take it hoping after 2-3 weeks he gets better but it is like stabbing one with a knife and turn that knife around for weeks until (if) it gets better. Even many health professionals don't understand psych-ache. He would do ECT but his memory is already almost zero. His arms are full of writings on them for reminders. They look like heavily tattooed. It is so sad.

If I were healthier maybe spending more time with him would help him. I would convince him to force himself to talk to a therapist. But I am now again in distress myself. This is really one of those situations where one says only God can help.

Suffering happens every day to many people but I am too emotionally ill to lose my brother and to watch him suffer. Plus our old mother is hiding her pain but his illness is ******* her as well. He said he hasn't killed himself so far is mostly because of our mom. But if something happened to her where does that leave me? How would I survive it?

I apologize for complaining this much because I know most of you on here have your own demons to fight but I have to share it with someone. I need hope. I wish there were any drugs to help us cope but there are none. I have tolerance to benzos like he does.

PS> We believe amphetamine caused the sleep deprivation but doctors of course won't admit it.

Edited by Zagor
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You sounds like a good brother. Just be there for him. Has his doctor suggested he have the genetic testing to find out what drugs would be good for him?  I did it thru Genesight because I develop an intolerance to many drugs when taken long term.  The testing covers all of the drugs that are prescribed for mental health problems.  Wish I had a brother like you.

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8 hours ago, nojoy said:

You sounds like a good brother. Just be there for him. Has his doctor suggested he have the genetic testing to find out what drugs would be good for him?  I did it thru Genesight because I develop an intolerance to many drugs when taken long term.  The testing covers all of the drugs that are prescribed for mental health problems.  Wish I had a brother like you.

Thank you.

His doctor is not helpful at all. I will look up those testings if they are available here.

Part of his PTSD is about doctors due to an ugly experience years ago. He never went to see a doctor alone and now if he has to be admitted it is to him like if you have arachnophobia and your house becomes full of spiders. Very difficult situation.

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