Jump to content

I have no friends


Recommended Posts

I have no friends, I used to at some point. I used to have a lot, and then I just stopped having friends. Anytime I see people making plans together in front of me, it kinda makes me tear up because I know that I could never have that. I go through bouts of social anxiety which makes it difficult to befriend people in the first place, and then when I'm really depressed I lose a lot of friends because I can't get the energy to reach out to anyone. I think I just come off as socially inept most the time or like I have something wrong with me, especially when I'm in my highs. It doesn't always bother me because I work a lot and I'm in college, but when I have more downtime, I notice how I have no one. I think I'm just going to move and start over with a fresh start, I hate the state I'm in. I'm just venting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome to the Forums,

It is very nice to meet you. 

Not having friends is so painful.  In my life it has been the most painful thing I have ever suffered, so my heart goes out to you.  These Forums have helped me a lot when I am desperately lonely.  I hope you will find this site to be a warm and friendly place.  I wish I knew what to say to ease your unhappiness but sadly I am sort of in the same boat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, no0nelikemeatthislatitude said:

I have no friends, I used to at some point. I used to have a lot, and then I just stopped having friends. Anytime I see people making plans together in front of me, it kinda makes me tear up because I know that I could never have that. I go through bouts of social anxiety which makes it difficult to befriend people in the first place, and then when I'm really depressed I lose a lot of friends because I can't get the energy to reach out to anyone. I think I just come off as socially inept most the time or like I have something wrong with me, especially when I'm in my highs. It doesn't always bother me because I work a lot and I'm in college, but when I have more downtime, I notice how I have no one. I think I'm just going to move and start over with a fresh start, I hate the state I'm in. I'm just venting.

Im so sorry.  Feeling alone is a terrible feeling and I really feel for you.  Its also an extremely painful thing to feel so hopelessly alone while watching the people around you have friends and connections and people who are there for them.  The nostalgia of a happier more social time period of your life is also quite mournful in a way.

Social anxiety is a really tough frustrating thing because it inhibits any rational thought processes; and the only real way to overcome social anxiety is by placing yourself in situations that are out of your comfort zone, and gradually becoming accustomed to socialization.  This, however, I know is terrifying, and Im so sorry you are experiencing these feelings.

I hope you find what youre looking for and overcome the fear of reaching out to those around you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m Sorry you’re feeling so much loneliness. This DF site has helped me not feel so lonely, people listen to however I’m feeling when I’m manic or depressed. 
welcome and keep sharing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can relate..l have no friends either and likely never will. I have to echo the words of the other posters here…this forum is a friendly and welcoming and most of all non judgmental place to speak your mind. I post on a bunch of different forums and this one is the nicest by far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is similar to my current situation. I've always been a person who has a few close friends instead of lots of not-so-close friends. During the pandemic, though, I was really bad about keeping in touch with people. To be honest, I embraced the excuse to stay home and be alone. Now that life is (sort of) getting back to normal, I find myself to be pretty alone. I get how you feel about downtime, too. Staying busy during the day is good, but then at night it's like all I have is Netflix😑 I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks for sharing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi @no0nelikemeatthislatitude im the same, I wish so desperately that I had friends and went out often and socialized a lot like I used too in my teens, but trauma and mental illness emerged and I couldnt maintain my friendships or make new ones, social anxiety is crippling and makes you a little paranoid and think others are thinking terrible things of you when theyre most likely not but you cant help it?

Its ok, I feel you, Im as lonely and and feel as abnormal as you describe here. Knowing you're not the only one that feels this way is helpful I find, even though we're not here in real life, it still helps 🙂 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I was a different person in my teens.  I wasn't afraid of anything.  I've turned into a big wimp afraid of everything.  I'll admit it.  

Without bipolar in hs and college I was outgoing, confident, a leader.

depression has made me withdraw and be a recluse with social anxiety.

mania makes me outgoing but I babble talking nonstop so I’m seen as a kook

but mostly introverted and down now

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I used to see an upside.  I thought my mania made me better at everything.  I guess it makes me better at talking like an auctioneer.  That's about it and I don't have anything to sell.  I'm about a level six mess that life and the world turned into a level ten mess.  People like me are the reason they make state mental hospitals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I used to see an upside.  I thought my mania made me better at everything.  I guess it makes me better at talking like an auctioneer.  That's about it and I don't have anything to sell.  I'm about a level six mess that life and the world turned into a level ten mess.  People like me are the reason they make state mental hospitals.

Well I have been hospitalized several times in the last 10 years and I always had a good time. The last hospital had great food, yoga, and I got to play a guitar. I was always in a manic state and treated it like I was going to an exclusive resort. So I guess I must be like you, one of those people that they make mental hospitals for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What (or Who) is my big why for living?

I want to be a Grandpa and Dad that is present in the lives of my children and their children and
live close so that I get called upon to do baby-sitting and host backyard BBQs.

You see 20 years ago I made a terrible decision to pursue a high paying job on the opposite
coast. I moved 3000 miles away and it put a chasm between me and my kids. I had chosen a
career over family after being divorced. I achieved a modest level of success but lost contact
with my family. Or rather they lost contact with me.

Five years ago I had several medical problems (bipolar) that lost me my contracting career. I just could
not keep up with the time demands in my current condition. I lived on my savings. After my
retirement was spent, I took a job in retail. It pays the bills but it won’t allow me to move and be
near my kids.

When I got sick I made it my number one task to reconnect with my two daughters. My
relationship has improved as the last five years I used phone calls and facetime to rebuild trust
and a rapport with each of my daughters. Now they want me in their lives again and I need a
way to make sure I am there for them now.

I want the freedom to move and travel whenever I want to be closer to each of my daughters.
One of my daughters is now pregnant. I want to be there but my current situation won’t allow it.
Becoming a writer will give me the income and freedom to travel and be present in their lives. It
is something I can do on my own timeframe and from anywhere in the world.

After one phone call my oldest daughter said, “It sure is nice to have a Dad again”. I wanted to
hug her but I couldn’t. That is when I decided that something had to change.


I am searching for ways I can support myself and move so I can give the hugs and be a Dad, and Grandpa that they need and love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Bbqdad said:

What (or Who) is my big why for living?

I want to be a Grandpa and Dad that is present in the lives of my children and their children and
live close so that I get called upon to do baby-sitting and host backyard BBQs.

You see 20 years ago I made a terrible decision to pursue a high paying job on the opposite
coast. I moved 3000 miles away and it put a chasm between me and my kids. I had chosen a
career over family after being divorced. I achieved a modest level of success but lost contact
with my family. Or rather they lost contact with me.

Five years ago I had several medical problems (bipolar) that lost me my contracting career. I just could
not keep up with the time demands in my current condition. I lived on my savings. After my
retirement was spent, I took a job in retail. It pays the bills but it won’t allow me to move and be
near my kids.

When I got sick I made it my number one task to reconnect with my two daughters. My
relationship has improved as the last five years I used phone calls and facetime to rebuild trust
and a rapport with each of my daughters. Now they want me in their lives again and I need a
way to make sure I am there for them now.

I want the freedom to move and travel whenever I want to be closer to each of my daughters.
One of my daughters is now pregnant. I want to be there but my current situation won’t allow it.
Becoming a writer will give me the income and freedom to travel and be present in their lives. It
is something I can do on my own timeframe and from anywhere in the world.

After one phone call my oldest daughter said, “It sure is nice to have a Dad again”. I wanted to
hug her but I couldn’t. That is when I decided that something had to change.


I am searching for ways I can support myself and move so I can give the hugs and be a Dad, and Grandpa that they need and love.

this is so sad yet such a beautiful example of how even when life seems like shit, you can change certain aspects of it so its less painful

im so happy you can reconnect with your family!

good luck to you! ❤️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Amaya said:

this is so sad yet such a beautiful example of how even when life seems like shit, you can change certain aspects of it so its less painful

im so happy you can reconnect with your family!

good luck to you! ❤️

Both of my daughters became doctors. They understand my bipolar and have experienced the ups and downs over the last 5 years. They forgave me. Now I have a goal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Bbqdad said:

Both of my daughters became doctors. They understand my bipolar and have experienced the ups and downs over the last 5 years. They forgave me. Now I have a goal.

Aw thats lovely!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Bbqdad said:

What (or Who) is my big why for living?

I want to be a Grandpa and Dad that is present in the lives of my children and their children and
live close so that I get called upon to do baby-sitting and host backyard BBQs.

You see 20 years ago I made a terrible decision to pursue a high paying job on the opposite
coast. I moved 3000 miles away and it put a chasm between me and my kids. I had chosen a
career over family after being divorced. I achieved a modest level of success but lost contact
with my family. Or rather they lost contact with me.

Five years ago I had several medical problems (bipolar) that lost me my contracting career. I just could
not keep up with the time demands in my current condition. I lived on my savings. After my
retirement was spent, I took a job in retail. It pays the bills but it won’t allow me to move and be
near my kids.

When I got sick I made it my number one task to reconnect with my two daughters. My
relationship has improved as the last five years I used phone calls and facetime to rebuild trust
and a rapport with each of my daughters. Now they want me in their lives again and I need a
way to make sure I am there for them now.

I want the freedom to move and travel whenever I want to be closer to each of my daughters.
One of my daughters is now pregnant. I want to be there but my current situation won’t allow it.
Becoming a writer will give me the income and freedom to travel and be present in their lives. It
is something I can do on my own timeframe and from anywhere in the world.

After one phone call my oldest daughter said, “It sure is nice to have a Dad again”. I wanted to
hug her but I couldn’t. That is when I decided that something had to change.


I am searching for ways I can support myself and move so I can give the hugs and be a Dad, and Grandpa that they need and love.

This made me cry in a good way of course.  This is one of the best posts I've seen here.❤️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, sober4life said:

This made me cry in a good way of course.  This is one of the best posts I've seen here.❤️

I just want to be understood and find answers.

thank you for the accolades I appreciate being heard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

hey there,

I can totally relate to this. I want so badly to have friends, but I always find that I guess I just don't know how to. I don't have the energy to reach out when I'm alone, and I don't have the words to start a friendship when I'm around people. It's really hard on my mind. Especially since humans are social creatures. It makes me feel like there is something really wrong with me. I've spent a long time wondering where the disconnect is, and I think I might just be bad at connecting with others. Which sucks, because I really want to connect with others. I wish I had advice for it, but I don't. But maybe it will be helpful to know that you're not alone. I'm glad you reached out to us on this forum though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...