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I yell at my young kids every day.

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I got married in 2005 and have 2 boys, 10 and 8.  I've been unhappy with my marriage more often than not but stuck with it, mainly for the kids.  My husband and I rarely fight as I hide all my true feelings.  I was on an anti-depressant for about 2 years after the birth of my second son but we moved countries about 5 years ago and have stopped taking it.  Things spiraled down, between added stress and financial struggles...and without having access to a therapist or medication, I've hit rock bottom. I hate my life. I don't like my husband and I strongly resent my kids. I feel suffocated and angry,  livid, all the time and I'm miserable. I yell at my kids every day and lose my temper easily.  Luckily, they still believe that I love them but I don't feel like I do. I think I want a divorce and leave everything behind but I have nowhere to go and I know that I would definitely regret if I do. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I just don't know what to do.

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