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Hello fellow miserable people

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What to write?  Its been ages since i was last here and what changed?  My body slides further into uselessness.

My mother lost her battles with Parkinsons and cancer x5.

Family life has stabilized since I gave up and went back to hiding.  Past friends are gone.  Some dead and some acknowledging that i was only a form of support. 

Every day i feel weaker and know the end gets closer even as I fight to live.  Yes, even I want things better.  Memories of a past are nothing but mocking hell.  

But ...i am a hard shell now.  Writing to express emotions I don't feel anymore.    Yeah...overly dramatic.  No worries.  I am not the person i was.

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I'm sorry you are dying, both figuratively and physically.  I hope your end is peaceful.

I'd like to share some thoughts with you--and nothing to judge or advise. 

I've read a lot of books about what (may) happen(s) after death.  I was not with my late brother when he died, but his former Love was.  She said she felt him go, and the wash of knowledge that came over him when his soul left his body.  She said she could feel him say/think/feel, "What have I done?" as though he regretted some of the things he'd done in his life.  It is said that your whole life flashes before your eyes when it's your time to die; maybe it happens just after.

I think sometimes life on earth must look very simple from those/that other plane(s) of being.  That once you get to the Hereafter, you see things you might have done or not have done.  Maybe life is easier than we think--I'm not talking about ignoring M***** and abuse and hatred, but more about connecting with our source/spiritual life while we're here.  Maybe it we do, we'll be more inclined to nurture possibility. 

I've been in emotional pain nearly all my life, and my body carries pain now, too.  What to do?  I don't believe in religion, organized or otherwise.  But I do believe in eternity and the eternity of my soul.  I believe I'll have all the time I need on the other side, but my time here is limited.  And on a good day, I make use of the time I have.

Thinking of you with love and peace,

WOTL (womanofthelight)

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