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Frustrated, Tired, and Depressed


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Ugh, I am not sure why it is my life is this way but it is. I consider myself a fairly well educated man. I have a college degree in criminal justice, I work hard, I have been at the same employer for 14 years and still I feel like junk. I see other people get promoted over me who ask me for advice, which I give, and then they turn around and present the advice I have given them as their own brilliant ideas that they came up with. They get bumped up to another position and the reap the benefits of my hard work. Oh, and these people who get promoted don't bother thanking me....the pretend that I don't exist....they belittle me in private and in front of others. I have tried to get a new job, I apply, I interview, and then nothing....I get nothing but a "thank you for your interest in our organization but we have chosen other candidates that more closely fit our needs. I am just so tired. 

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I am so very, very sorry that you are in that situation.   If that was happening to me, I would be so unhappy and discouraged.  I think your thoughts and feelings are completely understandable.  Wish I knew what to say that would help. 

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  • 2 months later...

Ugh....it never ends. Well I finally decided to reward myself with a little vacation. Only been four years since I had any significant time since I had a week off, but that wasn't much fun because I was dealing with my mother's funeral and funeral arrangements. 

Anyway, I come back from vacation and I was just dreading to go back to the office. I ended up getting a final written warning for a policy violation. Like OMG!!! The way disciplinary actions are supposed to go is if you have a problem with another employee, you are supposed to go to your supervisor or the person's supervisor and make a complaint. The person's supervisor is then supposed to take action....verbal warning, written warning, etc. Instead the person or persons who complained about me when right to HR's reporting line so they knew that HR would investigate instead of supervisors. So first day back from vacation I was almost fired. I can't win. 

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So sorry to hear (well, read) that you're in such a toxic situation. Our situations are different; in my case, my job is the only thing in my life that is going well. (Won't talk about the promotion I was recommended for but worked in the wrong office to be given ... it was a blessing in disguise.) 

When I'm overwhelmed by the shitty everything other than work in my life, I try to remind myself that I am not my situation, and my situation is not me. You can win in other ways, even if your job sucks. And if you keep looking, you'll be able to find something else.  It's just a numbers game. 

I hope things turn around for you. 

m00tpoint

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One important part of almost any job is interpersonal skills or the "soft skills"

You have to work with a lot of different people some of them you may not personally like but you have to set prejudices aside to do the best at the job so even if you are competent at the job you might need to work on interpersonal skills to get promoted

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On 9/14/2021 at 12:57 PM, Evergreenforst4 said:

One important part of almost any job is interpersonal skills or the "soft skills"

You have to work with a lot of different people some of them you may not personally like but you have to set prejudices aside to do the best at the job so even if you are competent at the job you might need to work on interpersonal skills to get promoted

I would agree with that in some degree, but in other locations I have never had it this bad nor have to deal with so many people who couldn't give a rat's behind...and I am talking about not only co-workers but also management. 

So to give you an example. When say a government organization....let's take a fire department for example. You have an opening for a Fire Chief and it has in the job description some requirements...requirements are A, B, C, D, etc. The organization goes through the hiring process and decides on the next fire chief. The next fire chief already works for the City in the Park & Recreation dept. and only go the job because they were friends with the hiring manager. The person was promoted into a role they had no idea what to do, no business being there, and acts like a know it all but the results show he's incompetent in that role. Meanwhile the Lt. who had all the requirements and years of experience doesn't get the position that they were qualified for. 

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