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Feeling lonely


crewneck

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As I get older (I'm 28 now) I realize it's very true when people say you lose friends over the years as you grow older. I never thought it would be a problem for me regardless if that did happen. I usually enjoy being alone but as I get older and end up in situations where I feel I need to cut people out of my life because they don't respect me. I realize that I started to feel lonely for the first time in my life. It feels so depressing because I love and cared for these people but they either treat me like crap or saw our friendship in a different light. Either way I realized friends come and go...it's not a feeling I think I can ever get use to. What do you do when you feel lonely and feel you have no one to talk to about it?

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What does one do, actually? No idea.
I went overboard and became very needy and excessively apologetic; annoying the hell out of friends I decided to contact again after decades or several years... but the only thing that helps is actually talking to people, even if that means forcing yourself to find new friends.

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On 6/21/2021 at 11:00 PM, APFSDS said:

What does one do, actually? No idea.
I went overboard and became very needy and excessively apologetic; annoying the hell out of friends I decided to contact again after decades or several years... but the only thing that helps is actually talking to people, even if that means forcing yourself to find new friends.

I have thought of the idea of finding new friends but at the moment I feel like my mental health has been deteriorating so much to the point that I feel I should refrain. I wish one day to have a support system that would genuinely be there for me for the reason of just caring for me. Most people say they are there for you when you need them but they don't really mean it when the time comes. Anyways thank you for replying. I don't have anyone to talk to so it means a lot to me that I even got one reply from a stranger on the internet. 

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I can relate. A few message boards and my weekly therapist appointment are   my only solace at this time.  My family members either don’t get it at all or just don’t care. And I don’t have any friends. And I am still working from home and will be for awhile it seems,

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Hi,

For the question what I do when I feel lonely and have no one to talk to, I use my imagination and I live in sort of a fantasy land.

I also do spiritual activities and I try to reflect, mediate and ponder things.

Sometimes I find myself happier living in a fantasy land, I can imagine a better world.

I also try to find hobbies. I got a got that I just practice fencing with for hours, and I got a knight helmet and I made my room look medieval style lol. That was when I was at my worst but being creative and imagining helped me.

I also practice with nunchucks as well, I am an avid martial artist.

Also there are youtube videos of people pretending, like some of them they pretend they are your friend or partner, different things. It is not as nice as the real thing but at least people can try to be comforted which is better than nothing.

Also listening to music that inspires me is very helpful as well, particularly when you have bad neighbors like I do lol who pop mortars all night. I am a vet lol and honestly it sounds like a warzone most summer nights but I mostly don't hear it because of my music.

If you feel like you are a door mat to your friends or they take advantage of you, I would try to adjust your strategy friend making. You can still be nice but don't pay for like say an expensive dinner if you barely hang out with them and do not know them well yet, you can keep things simple and learn more about their character they will gradually reveal through their actions over time.

Then you can decide if you want to be friends with them or not.

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51 minutes ago, Evergreenforst4 said:

I also try to find hobbies. I got a got that I just practice fencing with for hours, and I got a knight helmet and I made my room look medieval style lol. That was when I was at my worst but being creative and imagining helped me.

😁
Cool!

 

Although fantasy works, it's not a good substitute for actual people. I've learned this the hard way and I grieve that I became a hermit.
It's hard to find friends and it's harder to keep 'em perhaps, but it's always worth it once you do get someone.

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