Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
JohnDoe123321eoDnhoJ

Struggles with POCD. seems very real. need advice please.

Recommended Posts

ok so ill just warn the readers now: mentions of pedophilia as it is a pocd post. 

basically i can't seek therapy right now so i need advice from other users who might have gone through the same thing. about 3 years ago when i was 14, i first had pocd. i was experiencing groinal responses and false attractions. i started experiencing these after i started questioning if i was a pedo or not so i can confidently say that these weren't already things that were happening unprovoked because if they were, i think i would definitely be a pedophile. it went on for like two months id say. by the end of this period i was so fed up with waking up everyday and questioning everything that i gave in and just admitted that i might actually be a pedophile. that was one reason, the other was that i actually thought i was one because of the groinal responses and whatnot like i mentioned. im 17 now. i have never been in a room with a kid and had an urge to do something bad to them. i have never had the sexual urge to look at ch*ld p*rn. i have never had the urge to want to go to the park for the sole reason of looking at kids and taking pictures of them. i don't ever sexually fantasise about kids in my own time. but what has happened is that one time when i was like 16, i had a sort of arousal towards someone who was 10. i can't remember the details well enough but what i can say is i didn't go ahead and do anything weird with that thought. this happened like a year and a bit after the whole pocd incident so in my head i already thought i was a pedo. any other sort of arousal that i have had was towards characters in cartoons. there was another instance where i had an 'attraction' to someone who was 12 but this happened at a time where i was having/just had another pocd episode so my ocd mightve been interfering with that. just recently i had another pocd episode and about a month/month and a bit/two months after, i had a dream doing it to someone who was like 12-13. when i woke up and i was having my lunch, i remember just the way this person looked put me off lunch. like not the actual s*xual part but just the way they looked as in being underdeveloped, prepubescent looking just made me kinda disgusted. i couldn't finish my food because of this thought. thats basically my experience with pocd so far, i just wanna know if me being convinced that i was a pedophile could have caused these thoughts since i don't fit the usual definition of a pedophile: im not primarily or exclusively attracted to kids (my attractions are to people around my age or just straight up adults), i don't have near uncontrollable urges to go for kids, i don't have fantasise about kids. the only thing that i could say would even hint at something like pedophilia just completely naturally and unprovoked by what i think is OCD would be attraction to petite girls around my age or petite women. but even then i prefer atleast medium chested than flat chested. so yeah, is it possible that being convinced that you are a pedophile can cause 'attractions' much later down the line like in my case? what's going on with me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...