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CamiMoo

Most awful thing someone did to you

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We all have been bullied once in our lives, and some of us carried to adulthood. Some even developed depression because of the bullying in the past. I have to admit, I still remember the harsh words someone said to me and the things he has done. Maybe, it's subconsciously the reason why I don't open up easily. What's the most difficult thing you experienced in the hands of the bullies? Were you able to cope up? What did you do? 

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Posted (edited)

I have to many to mentioned and I'm trying to move on. But someone saying I love you just to say it is the most awful thing people can do.

Edited by watalife

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The worst thing is all the times people have tried to **** me.  My life has been a life where if I sat down and tried to remember all the times I would probably forget some of them.  That's how common it has been and people wonder why I'm so destroyed.

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Hi. Thanks for all your responses.

I never thought about that but yeah, people who say I love you just to get something from you or to just not look bad is the worst. Like using our your emotions to manipulate you.

Sorry to hear about that. I don't know why there are many people who would want to emotionally destroy someone. I mean I couldn't even sleep if I know I said something rude like, "hey who ate my fudge in the fridge?"

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That's all anyone has ever done with me use my emotions to manipulate me.  Not in a million years do I believe they've ever meant it when they said they love me or they'll use a fake hug.  I doubt I've ever gotten a real hug either.  I don't believe anyone even knows what love means.  Growing up the only way I knew how things should be was by watching sitcoms.  My life growing up was just a bunch of people in the room stuck with each other.  There were no roles.

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Reliving the trauma of high school is enough to start a fresh panic attack. Ive had so many dreams about different scenarios where ive finally stood up to the bullies.. I think thats the worst part of being bullied, not being able to stand up and do something for yourself at the time so you then relive it over and over thinking you should of said this or done that. One thing and its not even the worst but ill always remember it, I was 16 and walked into class and this horrible girl who always always tormented me, gave me a brown paper bag and told me id look better with it on, so I turned around and said actually I think it'd look better on you and handed it back. Another time I was walking down the corridor and this girl was throwing stones at me so I turned around and called her a bitch and she ran after me and slammed me into my locker, pushed me down and was kicking me and pulling my hair out. To this day I dont even know why I was such a target. There probably isn't even a why and if I knew the why it probably wouldn't help, because I dont want an apology from any of these people.

The worst though is being betrayed by people you loved and trusted, I've never gotten over what happened between my high school boyfriend and best friend at the time. I trusted them both so much and I was utterly heart broken by what happened. Its easy to say "thats just high school, you were kids then" and sure we were but it wasn't a simple breakup from either of them. Betrayal by people you whole heartedly trust, definitely the worst thing ever done to me. And I've never been able to trust or love anyone like that since. 

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Posted (edited)

I did stand up to the bullies.  Who knows they might have been partly responsible for me losing my mind in school.  Who got kicked out of school?  The one that couldn't take it anymore and stood up to all the bullies.  That's always the answer.  Why?  Well half the time that person is being bullied by teachers too and that's the last thing they want anyone to find out.

Edited by sober4life

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On 4/17/2021 at 3:43 AM, sober4life said:

That's all anyone has ever done with me use my emotions to manipulate me.  Not in a million years do I believe they've ever meant it when they said they love me or they'll use a fake hug.  I doubt I've ever gotten a real hug either.  I don't believe anyone even knows what love means.  Growing up the only way I knew how things should be was by watching sitcoms.  My life growing up was just a bunch of people in the room stuck with each other.  There were no roles.

I'm sorry about that. I feel you, and sometimes it makes me wonder why others do not experience the same. It's like they have so much happiness and love. How can that be?

  

On 4/17/2021 at 7:09 AM, Charlee said:

Reliving the trauma of high school is enough to start a fresh panic attack. Ive had so many dreams about different scenarios where ive finally stood up to the bullies.. I think thats the worst part of being bullied, not being able to stand up and do something for yourself at the time so you then relive it over and over thinking you should of said this or done that. One thing and its not even the worst but ill always remember it, I was 16 and walked into class and this horrible girl who always always tormented me, gave me a brown paper bag and told me id look better with it on, so I turned around and said actually I think it'd look better on you and handed it back. Another time I was walking down the corridor and this girl was throwing stones at me so I turned around and called her a bitch and she ran after me and slammed me into my locker, pushed me down and was kicking me and pulling my hair out. To this day I dont even know why I was such a target. There probably isn't even a why and if I knew the why it probably wouldn't help, because I dont want an apology from any of these people.

The worst though is being betrayed by people you loved and trusted, I've never gotten over what happened between my high school boyfriend and best friend at the time. I trusted them both so much and I was utterly heart broken by what happened. Its easy to say "thats just high school, you were kids then" and sure we were but it wasn't a simple breakup from either of them. Betrayal by people you whole heartedly trust, definitely the worst thing ever done to me. And I've never been able to trust or love anyone like that since. 

Wow.. I could only imagine the pain. This made me sad. I don't know what to say. I don't think I'll get over this kind of pain either. How are you dealing with it?

 

With all these things, has anyone of you tried seeing a therapist. How did it go?

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On 4/27/2021 at 9:51 AM, CamiMoo said:

I'm sorry about that. I feel you, and sometimes it makes me wonder why others do not experience the same. It's like they have so much happiness and love. How can that be?

  

Wow.. I could only imagine the pain. This made me sad. I don't know what to say. I don't think I'll get over this kind of pain either. How are you dealing with it?

 

With all these things, has anyone of you tried seeing a therapist. How did it go?

Honestly I haven't really, I don't think about it or talk about it, but for the first few years after high school I would have continuous nightmares about it, thankfully not anymore, but yeah Im not sure if its something ill ever get over. Im such an closed, anxious scared adult now, I mostly keep to myself with only a few friends and I don't go out often, and its most likely because of what happened at school.. I have seen three different  therapists, but they weren't the right people to delve into that box with.. so nothings really helped, I just do my best to continue living. But I don't open up, thats probably why therapy hasn't been successful for me heh but I have a cat who is my absolute best friend in the whole world, her companionship helps a lot also 🙂 

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