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Who am I? I don’t even know, how could I be alive for so long and not even know who I am. I am so mixed up in;

Who I think I am

Who I think others think I am

Who I want to be

Who I think I should be

Who I think I can be

Who I think others think I should be

 

They say to be yourself but what if you’re not happy with yourself? Do you change yourself? What do you change yourself into? Will this make things worse by being someone you are not? but if I keep going on being myself in I will never be happy. Why is this so confusing?

How do in find out who I am? How do I change into a person I think will make me happy? How do I stop myself from doing the things that make me unhappy? When do I start making changes? Does that make me someone different or am I the same person just doing different things? What makes a person? The things they do or things they think or the thinks they say? What is going to happen if I don’t don’t change things?

What is wrong with me?

Why is this happening to me?

How can I keep going on like this?

When will this end?

Who am I?

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Welcome new friend.

I can tell you that you are a person who has found a home here.

Confusion is a requisite for membership in the human race.

Please keep posting your concerns and check out other posts.

We are here to help.

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I think every single person ever goes through what you're going through in your mind.  It's because there is such a fear in being ourselves in this world or I'm beginning to think it's all in my head.  The people around us don't care who we are or what we do.  All they really want is for us to not get into trouble especially trouble they have to clean up.  Beyond that I think people just show up to the "party" with only themselves and their issues and desires on their minds.  So try to take away the fear and just do whatever you want in the moment.  Most of us are bored most of the time and can't really make any sense of any of this.  Life seems to be mostly doing whatever we have to do to cope with life.

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On 4/8/2021 at 6:59 PM, sober4life said:

I think every single person ever goes through what you're going through in your mind.  It's because there is such a fear in being ourselves in this world or I'm beginning to think it's all in my head.  The people around us don't care who we are or what we do.  All they really want is for us to not get into trouble especially trouble they have to clean up.  Beyond that I think people just show up to the "party" with only themselves and their issues and desires on their minds.  So try to take away the fear and just do whatever you want in the moment.  Most of us are bored most of the time and can't really make any sense of any of this.  Life seems to be mostly doing whatever we have to do to cope with life.

Thank you for your kind words. 

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On 4/8/2021 at 4:18 PM, Oscar K said:

Welcome new friend.

I can tell you that you are a person who has found a home here.

Confusion is a requisite for membership in the human race.

Please keep posting your concerns and check out other posts.

We are here to help.

Thank you

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On 4/8/2021 at 12:37 PM, Blue Giant said:

They say to be yourself but what if you’re not happy with yourself? Do you change yourself? What do you change yourself into?

What if there is a third option: acceptance and change?

On 4/8/2021 at 12:37 PM, Blue Giant said:

How do in find out who I am? How do I change into a person I think will make me happy? How do I stop myself from doing the things that make me unhappy?

For me, it wasn't really finding out who I am it was remembering what I was before my illness and I fused into a single being. 

Changing behaviors is on-going. I began by identifying and clarifying what was most important to me, my values. These never changed but I redefined some ("success", for example) and reprioritized others. When behaviors were driven by my values and not those of others, or because of others, behavior change was more meaningful to me...

Why do I not have a beautiful partner who loves me? becomes Why have I abandoned loving myself by making love into a "thing" someone must give me?

Why can't I have the body I want? becomes What is about having a healthy body that means something to me personally? 

I want my values to guide like a compass, they are tied to who I am and remain stable.

They help define me. Not my intrusive thoughts--I don't control thoughts. Not my feelings--those come and go. Not my goals and achievements--momentary achievements feel great, but then what another goal and then another? 

Living is a difficult undertaking and I don't know what defines "a life worth living" for you. I believe you do. 

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