I'm going through a hard time

[Ljj71400]

Hi, I am writing this because things in my life are not going well. I will try my best to keep it short. I'm in my final semester of college but I'm struggling with my classes right now. I am sure I will graduate but I will have to work hard to keep my grades up. Plus, I'm starting to notice that some of my friendships/social bonds are starting to fade. Im worried if ive damaged my relationships with others. I have made some mistakes in the past that I feel guilty for. I am trying to move on from the past but its hard to do. I tried talking on the phone to a hotline twice but it wasnt helpful. I am still able to get through the day. But everyday feels like a cycle of overthinking. I am writing all of this because I am currently not happy with how things are going.

I really just need some uplifting and encouraging words.

[Bulgakov]

Hi Ljj,

Sorry to hear that your thoughts are rercycling .  The complaint of overthinking has been posted lots on this site.  I listed "thinking too much" as one of my hobbies in my profile.  My intrusive negative thought usually show as negative flashes of past events that showcase my lack of response or resolve, but most of them come from when I was just a kid; so I always encourage myself to give the kid a break.

I don't know what kind of relentless thoughts you have.  Maybe you are going over details as a lifestyle, and that may be a different kind of over thinking.  If you want to drive the thoughts away, the quick answer is trying some form of cognitive therapy.  If you want to get to the root of yourself and your current state, then some therapy can be helpful.  Meds may or may not help either effort. 

If the hotline is your first brush with counseling, then counseling --from your college if available--would help you decide what direction you want to take.  It's a helluva time to be graduating.  I'd be freaked if I was graduating during the Covidian.   I graduated in 1975, gas was less than a dollar a gallon.  I could always afford to run.

best luck to you, Bulgakov

 

[mmoose]

Ah, the-soon-to-be-college-grad days.  That last year can be rough and make one question (or over think) life choices with the transition impending.  Not uncommon for someone to start posting around here.

You have made some mistakes?  So... you're human? Everyone makes mistakes.  You can either try better next time, try to make up for it or torture yourself and never move on.  Of course, there are various magnitudes of mistakes.

Fading friendships?  How much time (and positive energy) have you invested in others recently?

But positive words? Sure to graduate is good.  If classes are hard now, it's only for a little while longer.  Sure, it's easy for me to say "last push thru to graduation" as I'm not in those classes.  But I did have a couple of classes back in my day.  Sometimes you rock it and have fun. Sometimes you suffer thru.  One thing about depression, it teaches one to suffer.  I have more tolerance for suffering than most of the people I know.  Being able to suffer thru is an underrated skill.

Also positive: you a) recognize that you could use some help and b) are reaching out.  It can be hard to find the right support, especially the first hundred times we try.  It can be easy to give up (or want to give up) 

 

In 30 years when you are seeing your kids off in life after a succesful career (how ever you would like to measure that) and you look back, what would your future self tell you about now?  About suffering thru but still accomplishing?  What might you learn now that can be a useful tool for many years to come?

We don't know the future.  But we do have control for many things.

And if none of this makes sense, be glad that you don't have to listen to strangers across the internets!

[Ljj71400]

15 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

Hi Ljj,

Sorry to hear that your thoughts are rercycling .  The complaint of overthinking has been posted lots on this site.  I listed "thinking too much" as one of my hobbies in my profile.  My intrusive negative thought usually show as negative flashes of past events that showcase my lack of response or resolve, but most of them come from when I was just a kid; so I always encourage myself to give the kid a break.

I don't know what kind of relentless thoughts you have.  Maybe you are going over details as a lifestyle, and that may be a different kind of over thinking.  If you want to drive the thoughts away, the quick answer is trying some form of cognitive therapy.  If you want to get to the root of yourself and your current state, then some therapy can be helpful.  Meds may or may not help either effort. 

If the hotline is your first brush with counseling, then counseling --from your college if available--would help you decide what direction you want to take.  It's a helluva time to be graduating.  I'd be freaked if I was graduating during the Covidian.   I graduated in 1975, gas was less than a dollar a gallon.  I could always afford to run.

best luck to you, Bulgakov

 

Thank you for replying. I do realize that a lot of people suffer from overthinking. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one. I am definitely thinking about going to therapy after I graduate (hopefully, keeping my fingers crossed). I am trying to take life one day at a time.

[Ljj71400]

21 minutes ago, mmoose said:

Ah, the-soon-to-be-college-grad days.  That last year can be rough and make one question (or over think) life choices with the transition impending.  Not uncommon for someone to start posting around here.

You have made some mistakes?  So... you're human? Everyone makes mistakes.  You can either try better next time, try to make up for it or torture yourself and never move on.  Of course, there are various magnitudes of mistakes.

Fading friendships?  How much time (and positive energy) have you invested in others recently?

But positive words? Sure to graduate is good.  If classes are hard now, it's only for a little while longer.  Sure, it's easy for me to say "last push thru to graduation" as I'm not in those classes.  But I did have a couple of classes back in my day.  Sometimes you rock it and have fun. Sometimes you suffer thru.  One thing about depression, it teaches one to suffer.  I have more tolerance for suffering than most of the people I know.  Being able to suffer thru is an underrated skill.

Also positive: you a) recognize that you could use some help and b) are reaching out.  It can be hard to find the right support, especially the first hundred times we try.  It can be easy to give up (or want to give up) 

 

In 30 years when you are seeing your kids off in life after a succesful career (how ever you would like to measure that) and you look back, what would your future self tell you about now?  About suffering thru but still accomplishing?  What might you learn now that can be a useful tool for many years to come?

We don't know the future.  But we do have control for many things.

And if none of this makes sense, be glad that you don't have to listen to strangers across the internets!

Thank you for replying. I really needed these words. I am still trying to pull through. I needed the reassurance. Even though things are hard, I'm sure things will get better eventually.

[mmoose]

"Things" get better. Sure. Sometimes.

Sometimes Cancer just goes away.  Sometimes, tomorrow is magical.  Sometimes, addictions are just 'overcome'.

Things may not get better either.  Past traumas are still in the past even if we are moving on.  Alzheimer's does not just go away.

I just do not want to underestimate the active state of us trying to make things better, make ourselves better. Maybe not the panacea of 'happy', but maybe less miserable (or at least less miserable to those around us)  I want everyone here to think of active ways to get better.  Sure, not easy.  If we had an idea of where to start, we'd have started already.  But "things get better" is so frickin' passive to me.  Blind hope that is empty hope.  (sorry for the rant.  And yes, sometimes even empty hope is better than nothing.  Maybe 'depression' is us not being blind anymore? How's that for some philosophy after a little rant?)