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Rainbowrain

Suffering from major depression

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Hi guys, I'm a mother of 2. My daughter is 23 and my son is 11. I have been happily married for 15 years. I suffer from major anxiety and depression and have a long time. Lately I'm finding it hard to even function. I don't go out much due to money being tight.  I sleep a lot. I feel down and sad most of the time.  I take me medication every day.  Just wondering if anyone had and tips or pointers on how to feel a bit lifted up.  I hate feeling this way and have even had suicidal thoughts on the past.  Anything would be muchly appreciated.  Thanks

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Posted (edited)

I dont hv an advise but i just want to let you know that you are not alone. We are here with you. 

I can relate to you about having suicide thoughts because i have that in my mind very often. My job helps me to divert my mind. I cant stay in silent mode even a single second because that thought will instantly creeps in. Im always on my earphones or tv  to avoid the silence. 

 

 

Edited by Camellia

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Welcome new friend to our forum family.

We are not professionals but we do try our best to help each other.

I truly believe that we are never helpless confronting Old Man Depression.

Please keep posting your concerns and check out other posts.

Problems have solutions.

Our goal is to not leave anyone behind in their depression "cave".

Oscar

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Depression with anxiety is a tough team to face and if you're struggling against them by yourself, it can feel impossible. I know how hard it is to do activities while experiencing constant mental and physical fatigue.

You're not alone and you don't have to fight this alone in fact it makes it harder. I'm glad you found us and I hope we can become part of your support system.

A support system is very important for helping me to maintain mood stability and functionality. Meeting online and in person with others who live with depression has helped me develop more compassion for myself.

How does your family view your condition? Do you feel like you're a burden to them? 

 

 

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Not to my kids or husband, but to the rest of my family yes. My sister and my parents. My brother died 4 yrs so at the age of 36 and I constantly think it should of me not him as he was loved and admired by everyone.  My parents don't know about my condition and with my brother passing I don't think it would be a good idea. I have the most caring and supportive husband, but it's hard for him to understand when he isn't going through it.  I think I need to talk to ppl who r going through the same thing.  I'm just over feeling down and sad all the time and over just sleeping cause I'm bored.  

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post,  I'm much appreciated of it.  

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I feel the same way.  I have survivor's guilt with everyone I love that has died.  If someone had to go I was always the better choice.  Survivor's guilt is the worst thing about someone passing away.  It's not true those feelings we get.  What would the loved ones say?  All I want for you is the best life possible.  Stop beating yourself up please.  Go and be happy.  

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One trick I employ to help me is to repeatedly "anchor" myself outside the depression abyss.

The deep, dark, dangerous depression cave is always a part of us but we need not take up long term residence.

I do give myself permission to take temporary shelter in my depression cave as long as I stay close to the ENTRANCE/EXIT.

My feeling is that depression plays the most awful tricks on our poor psyches so maybe we should just play some clever tricks right back.

Hope this can help a little.

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21 hours ago, Rainbowrain said:

I think I need to talk to ppl who r going through the same thing. 

That helped me. A community of people who have lived experience with depression made up of some who are struggling more than I (whom I might actually help) and others seemingly doing better (who might help me) provided me with purpose and support. That doesn't come from hanging on in silent desperation or putting up a false front. 

It's to your credit that you took a chance on us, @Rainbowrainand I hope you’ll find more people who share a common understanding that you can meet and talk with. 

As for family, everyone has a different situation. I found some members of mine were willing to view depression as they would any physical illness and make efforts to understand and help me. 

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On 4/6/2021 at 7:11 AM, Rainbowrain said:

  I think I need to talk to ppl who r going through the same thing. 

That is one thing you will find here. It is what brought me here many years ago. People that will listen and not judge. People who can relate. Sometimes it’s just a kind word to get you through a rough patch. Other times  we talk each other through full-blown meltdowns. It’s an awful disease we have. Remember that, it is a disease. Some days will be better & some will suck. No doubt about it. We all wish there we magic words or one bit of sage like advice to make us all better. Sadly that person hasn’t shown up yet. Until then we are here for you any time you need us.

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