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If you just want to cry but can't


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Hi, maybe a stupid question, but what do you do if you feel the urge to cry and just can't ? I have that urge and just can't cry right now. But it will effect me for the time being until released. No particular reason just the need to cry. And no ! I am not a "Cry-Baby" I have stamina and use it daily - but some days are just more difficult than others.

Other days I catch myself in the middle of sleep or just sitting around and tears are rolling on their own pace down my face without warning. That can be in very awkward situations too. But if you feel that you want to and just can't what do you do? Maybe someone knows what feeling I am talking about. It comes from deep inside and is just there. I can't really explain it.

Thanks for any answers.

 

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I don't really have answers but I do know that we are deep mysteries to ourselves and each other.

My approach is to try to "anchor" myself outside my deep , dark depression "cave".

 

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I have the same problem 

i have tears every night for what seems no reason I find that I don’t feel anything at all but I do find that I am thinking about the day when it happens not that anything bad happened just things that have happened in the past like my grandma we last her to cancer over a year ago I haven’t really cried about it just tears when I go to bed

i am sorry you have that happen to it’s a bad feeling 

am sorry this isn’t helpful just know your not alone in this

oh I was also told by someone in the past that I might be on to Mitch meds I don’t know if that’s true or not but it makes sense same meds are used to make you not feel anything at least that’s what I think

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2 minutes ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

I have the same problem 

i have tears every night for what seems no reason I find that I don’t feel anything at all but I do find that I am thinking about the day when it happens not that anything bad happened just things that have happened in the past like my grandma we last her to cancer over a year ago I haven’t really cried about it just tears when I go to bed

i am sorry you have that happen to it’s a bad feeling 

am sorry this isn’t helpful just know your not alone in this

oh I was also told by someone in the past that I might be on to Mitch meds I don’t know if that’s true or not but it makes sense same meds are used to make you not feel anything at least that’s what I think

I quote all because it all makes sense... Sorry you have the same problem- but yet it does me not feel alone. Them tears just show up or they just want out.. One or the other will happen.  I really have no "big" reason to cry as well - just things in life that happen I guess.. it is just a reflection of my life and day that wants to come out and be released - seems like it anyway. One thing for sure is I would not try those meds that make you not feel anything. I love to feel. Just as much as I hate it - but I need to feel and just have to learn to understand what I feel and how to explain my feelings. But no feelings is no option for me. I hate taking Advil for crying out loud if I ache somewhere because it might cover the pain for a bit but I do not know what is causing it. 

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I had a similar experience. But there was a subtle difference. I had a reason to grieve. 

Specifically, I broke up with my ex and I had very important exams to take. To prepare for the exams, I didn't really have much time to get upset. Due to my incompetence, I was studying and practicing whenever I was awake and only had a very limited time to eat and bath. Occasionally, my tears were rolling during the practice too but I don't burst into tears because I just don't have that luxury time. I failed my first attempt, and so I continued doing the same routine until I got the grades I wanted in the following year. So it took about 1 and half year. After I gotten the results, I still felt a great pain in my heart because my ex is just someone that I love very much. I wanted to cry but I couldn't because the incident had passed so long ago.

Eventually, I found that listening to sad songs can actually relieve some of my pains. Sometimes I burst into tears and the other times I don't.  Listening to sad songs generally makes me upset but I do find it helpful. Nevertheless, I would like to note that most of the time I am doing something that I like. Those activities don't heal the aforementioned pain but they help me to balance the sadness I experience while listening to sad songs.

I am not sure if I make myself clear but I hope you find it useful.

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1 hour ago, unknown123 said:

I am not sure if I make myself clear but I hope you find it useful

Yes very much though ! I had no exams to take or to study. However I used any available time to just work. A work I love and like to do. So I focused on that and I tears stared to become imminent I bailed out and left the scene. I listen to music a lot and it will define the mood I am in. It might be sad music or it might be full blast Techno or EBM ... I do not decide. It is the occasion and the weather and that given time. Never know. I adjust as I go. I however had to pull over on the road to let the tears out before I could resume my trip. All comes and goes.You obviously did a good job making your studying and learning part of grieving a loss. And succeeded. I used that energy and just worked and worked and worked whenever I could. Different coping techniques I guess. But it works 🙂  

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I can't handle sitting with my anger until I re-learn how to cry. 

Say you were somehow able to just let it rip, and have a bawling, nose-runny, can't barely breathe, messy sob. If the meanest person in the world saw you, what would they say?

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12 hours ago, Atra said:

I can't handle sitting with my anger until I re-learn how to cry. 

Say you were somehow able to just let it rip, and have a bawling, nose-runny, can't barely breathe, messy sob. If the meanest person in the world saw you, what would they say?

Atra, I do not have that nose-runny, barely can breath, messy sob cry. It just happens that from out of nowhere tears are rolling. There is no sitting and wait to learn. My mind and heart just lets it flow at its own convenience and sometimes at very inconvenient times . If the meanest person would see me - they either did not see me, don't know me or just don't care. They can say anything they want and would deflect on me. I thankfully have people around me that do care and they have all kind of questions and advice. The meanest however I never met I guess and they would probably say or think " who cares " or  " whatever " or " it will be all fine - get over it " ... something like that I guess

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I don’t know about crying happening so suddenly, what is that like?

I'd kept myself from crying for decades, fought it back to the smallest choke in the back of my throat. While I was suppressing it my anger got out of control--at others, but turned inward mostly. My tears were for loneliness, anger, frustration and powerlessness. What are yours?

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10 hours ago, Atra said:

I don’t know about crying happening so suddenly, what is that like?

Atra, Thanks for the reply. Well - it is hard to explain how 'sudden crying " happens. It can be cause by a memory, by a scene in a movie or series, by somebody just making the wrong comment or just because it happens to be the right mood or timing.

There is no pattern to it ... what is weird though, is if you feel like crying about something would help to release emotions - I can't. But I have that feeling.

10 hours ago, Atra said:

I'd kept myself from crying for decades, fought it back to the smallest choke in the back of my throat. While I was suppressing it my anger got out of control--at others, but turned inward mostly. My tears were for loneliness, anger, frustration and powerlessness. What are yours?

I never kept myself from it. I did it "secretly" to not look like a "weak person" . That was no good either though. I never let others know how I feel unless I trust them. Anger I do not have. I get mad at things - but that is normal and my being mad is usually pointed at myself. My tears are as well for being lonely and feeling betrayed, lied to and used and also for simply feeling helpless. That is why medications make no sense to me. My life is not going to change by taking some pills. It takes me and my willpower to be as authentic as I can be. And that includes tears without being ashamed of it. That is me. A typical character remark on my zodiac sign as well.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I watch very sad movies. If my depression is bad, even that won't help.

I think it has something to do with not having compassion for myself but having it for others. Like it's wasted tears on me, but it makes sense to cry for people who are "worth it".

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I have had this happen several times. I think it's just frustration at this whole situation of having to stay home so much this year. I always wish I could cry hard and get it all out so I would feel better. The only thing I have done that helped was exercise to take the edge off. But it really does feel like total helplessness when I can't even cry. 

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On 3/29/2021 at 12:28 PM, Kogent5 said:

I think it has something to do with not having compassion for myself but having it for others. Like it's wasted tears on me, but it makes sense to cry for people who are "worth it".

I hear that.

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@Svenetc

 I used that energy and just worked and worked and worked whenever I could. 

 

Me too. I just work and work and work to divert my mind. My work is a routine task, i hardly talk. I just do my job. 

 

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