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Svenetc

I just felt like I want to share

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Hi,

I am still new here and just had an interesting first time experience .

Well, I am here to seek advice and so on because i am down to the core. However just minutes ago I was just sitting here by myself, my cats are sleeping on the window seems and all the sudden I felt tears running down my cheeks. Out of nowhere. I felt them running down my cheeks and had no explanation for it. They came out of memories. That is all. So I went outside and tried to figure why I was shedding tears out of the blue. I live in the " boons of Iowa "  and  I have nothing but fields and trees around me. So as I was looking around trying to figure out myself I thought maybe I am just like them trees. The grow leafs, are green all summer and in the Fall they shed their leaves and are bare in the winter. Maybe that is my life. I grew , lived and shed my tears. Now I have to wait for spring. Hopefully I am getting there and I am not an "annual" that only blooms once. Guess that was a great look into my inside thoughts I just had. I will figure it all out and I will use any inputs I get from here and from my surroundings. I know it might be a pointless post but I felt that I wanted to share.

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Yeah I always say if you want to know how I feel look outside.  I live in the same type of place as you but in Ohio.  This would be a great place if it stayed spring or summer all the time.  If it stayed like it is in the winter all the time there would be nobody here.

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4 hours ago, Svenetc said:

Guess that was a great look into my inside thoughts I just had. I will figure it all out and I will use any inputs I get from here and from my surroundings. I know it might be a pointless post but I felt that I wanted to share.

That is not a pointless post at all.  

One of the characteristics of depression is the tendency to 'look inside' more than most.  That can be bad if we do way too much of it and use the experience to beat ourself up.  It can also be good if we use the experience to learn about ourself and be more comfortable with who we are.  It sounds like you are gaining insight. Good for you!

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4 hours ago, jkd_sd said:

 It sounds like you are gaining insight. Good for you!

Yes I gain a lot through that experience. - every day and sometimes unexpected. I found out where I am most vulnerable and how I can open up to people more easy without giving myself away. Thank you !

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8 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I always say if you want to know how I feel look outside.  I live in the same type of place as you but in Ohio.  This would be a great place if it stayed spring or summer all the time.  If it stayed like it is in the winter all the time there would be nobody here.

That is right - nobody would like to be in a place where there is no change ever. That is right for the seasons of the year but also in personal life. Change has to happen in order to make it worth living. Btw. I lived in OH too. Urbana - just N of Dayton. I liked it much better than IA for sure ...🙃

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