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What is your life hack against anger?


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When you are pissed off but reality is that there is nothing you can do, 

maybe there is something you can do but it doesn't work effectively.

For example, someone intends to make you angry by saying something

offensive, ironic or rude, anything, but the result is, you are pissed off.

You are not able to think of anything to say to "fight back", and you can't

calm down immediately. 

This is the situation I am almost experiencing every day. Unfortunately it 

often takes me a few hours or half a day before I feel well again, I have 

talked to my counselor who is a clinical psychologist but she wasn't able

to provide me any life hack or immediate solution. She told me her experience

- e.g. to talk to someone, to tell someone, which was her immediate life hack.

 

The fact is - I do not have someone who is ready to listen to me at anytime,

people are busy with their life, even my best friend who has helped me a lot

he is very busy. Even though he isn't busy, I feel annoyed to explain everything

to make him understand. It is a waste of energy

. I don't think telling someone is a very effective way of relieving my anger.

 

What is your life hack for calming down effectively?

Edited by louis2008
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/2/2021 at 11:08 PM, louis2008 said:

What is your life hack for calming down effectively?

I have to agree with @sober4life. That’s the most effective way i think. Block people, leave chat groups, get out of the house. I do that often then unblock people like months later cos I know I shouldn’t have block them esp family. 

Another way is to quickly throw insults back at them and then run away or block them so I can’t hear what they say back to me in return. 

I have never really found any life hacks. Took a decade and more for me to get tired of being angry. In the end, I just realise I need to spend my energy on myself. Do things for myself and to distract myself from them. Forgive them for being stupidly irritating and spouting nonsense to make me mad. It only shows they have internal issues of their own that’s why they are throwing their anger at you. They had a bad life too, can’t blame them life sucks and can’t blame myself for being angry either. Don’t take people’s words to heart. Rather than the anger, I fear more on how badly their words make me feel cos I’ll end up hating myself for words that are not true.

I guess I try to Ask myself what did I do today? What did I do yesterday? Am I gonna spend another hour being angry? What’s the point? Maybe give myself a few hours to curse that idiot to hell in my head then move on. 

Easier said than done to control ourselves to be the better person to walk away. I hope u do find a way and not take so long to find it like me. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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It could be you're asking 2 questions. What to do immediately afterwards when someone angers us. Later, what's effective in releasing stored anger. 

For me, they are related. 

My judgment about how I reacted or didn't react when angered is often what I replay in my mind afterwards. It is hard for me to let go of my anger when I ruminate. 

Talking with someone (friend, therapist, support group) who is able to put themselves in my shoes (empathy) helps me. So does doing physical activity to rid the stored energy. 

I'm also working on immediacy--how I react in the moment I'm angered. It's hard to tell if I'm angry because I'm reminded of something that happened long ago. Knowing what events in my past lead me to become so angry when someone says something has helped me to react in harmony with my values in the moment.

That may mean realizing I have unfinished business in my past which is triggered by this person's words. Or, their words are offensive to my values or someone I value in which case, I should react appropriately with the emotion I'm feeling. 

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On 2/2/2021 at 8:08 AM, louis2008 said:

What is your life hack for calming down effectively?

My only trick for this is to intercept my gut level message to my brain, before the anger can make its play reflexively.  Mystic forefather and cognitive behaviorist Thomas Jefferson said it best:  "When angry, count to 10 before you speak. If very angry, a hundred."   Google results say this notion has been "born out by science"--but I didn't click on any of the links.  It seems like common sense also.  It doesn't always work, and maybe shouldn't.  It's sage advice, similar to "think before you act," but sometimes you just have to derail the anger for the moment so you can think.   Can't hurt to try Jefferson's idea, it's harder than it sounds.

good luck, Bulgakov

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  • 1 month later...

Probably not much help especially since it's already been said here a couple times, but as soon as I get angry my ONLY hack to help a little is getting out of the immediate area. Literally go to the garage or shed if U have one, or outside. Just physically remove Urself from the area the person is in. But I have no clue beyond that. Cause it's 50/50 at best as to wether it'll work or not any particular day.

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  • 1 month later...
On 2/13/2021 at 10:16 AM, sober4life said:

Removing people from my life.  I hope I never see or hear anyone again in my life.

This is true. Removing toxic people from you life is they key, regardless of who they are. If they're not gopod for your mental health, you should let them go. Period.

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  • 4 months later...

I found that humane people get angry for two reasons. They are either there is an injustice or there is a violation. And I think that this is because in both cases we may need the extra energy we get with anger. We might have to take a firm stance against the injustice or we might need to fight back against some violation.

To overcome the anger I believe it is necessary to address the issue that gives rise to the anger. If we don't address the issue it is hard not to be angry. 

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