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Feel like a burden


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Having my 2nd kid, still at my moms, dad calls me names, Idk my mom snaps occasionally and Im like Im so pregnant and Its like everyone around me is moody or allowed to be moody but me. 

I feel like I've endured alot during this pregnancy and bc of that Im not really looking fwd to my 2nd kid.

Mainly bc im just not getting the support I need from family I just can't imagine 2 and them watching me or letting me struggle. 

I just feel depressed. I feel regretful and wish I could do adoption but the dad wants the baby and most days I regret telling him bc hehas legal issues, drug trafficking , still at home despite being 10yrs older. 

I just hate BC failed me. God. I feel my pregancy plus quarantine brought out the worst in my parents bc I don't remember them being this bad. 

All this feels like a bad dream that I wish I could wake up from. 

Just wasnt treated kindle during my pregnancies this was the worst though.I feel depressed but can't show it in my house. 

 

I want to leave but feel I can't-- son's health issues stopped me, losing my job.. all of that. I feel I keep getting my wings clipped at every turn

Just want to sob. 

 

My dad is coming home and he ignors me daily...

Idk the fact that I haven't drowned in ppd is a miracle. That's another thing I'm afriad of--My mental health is going to tank so bad.

 

I want to give up. Just accept what people tell me. accept this...just give up.. I dont care anymore. 

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even now-- i dont remember the last time i showered. no one will hold my child so i could shower at the very least geez. just feel i deserve this bc i had kids out  of wedlock-- didnt vet properly, idk this is totally my fault.

Edited by SailingSoul
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Do you have any friends or other family that may be more supportive?  Is there anyway you can live on your own?  Sounds like you home life can be toxic at times and definitely contributing to your mental health.  Also, being pregnant, your hormones are changing which can effect your mood.  Sorry you are going through this:(

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Hey @SailingSoul I wish I can help you out more.

Please speak to a counsellor. I am saying this cos I know having two babies to take care is really a LOT and even my very happy positive friend with two babies is struggling and getting worse mentally. And she lives with her parents too, with mindset that’s like “They are your babies, so why should I help.” Without her friends, I think she might just give up altogether. 

I hope you get the support you need. Hiding that depression in the house can look like a good thing but I do hope you have another outlet other than DF. We will always welcome you here of course, we want the best for you. 

Try to speak to the baby’s dad because he has a lot to live up to to become a father. He has to take responsibility and not let you handle the baby after birth, since he is the one who wants the baby so much. He has to feed and bathe and change diapers and you know the whole thing.. if he loves the baby he should be able to do it. 

I know there’s a lot of things to worry about, but do be grateful for having your parents around. Parents can be horrible people but once in awhile on rare occasions they are there when you need them to be. 

You made it through your first pregnancy, so you are strong enough to go through your second! Enjoy what little rest you get and the rest that you don’t get is the love you are giving to your babies, so please take care of yourself physically and mentally ok. It’s not totally your fault. The father is in this too, but what’s done is done and things happen for a reason so don’t be too hard on yourself ((hugs)). 

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19 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Hey @SailingSoul I wish I can help you out more.

Please speak to a counsellor. I am saying this cos I know having two babies to take care is really a LOT and even my very happy positive friend with two babies is struggling and getting worse mentally. And she lives with her parents too, with mindset that’s like “They are your babies, so why should I help.” Without her friends, I think she might just give up altogether. 

I hope you get the support you need. Hiding that depression in the house can look like a good thing but I do hope you have another outlet other than DF. We will always welcome you here of course, we want the best for you. 

Try to speak to the baby’s dad because he has a lot to live up to to become a father. He has to take responsibility and not let you handle the baby after birth, since he is the one who wants the baby so much. He has to feed and bathe and change diapers and you know the whole thing.. if he loves the baby he should be able to do it. 

I know there’s a lot of things to worry about, but do be grateful for having your parents around. Parents can be horrible people but once in awhile on rare occasions they are there when you need them to be. 

You made it through your first pregnancy, so you are strong enough to go through your second! Enjoy what little rest you get and the rest that you don’t get is the love you are giving to your babies, so please take care of yourself physically and mentally ok. It’s not totally your fault. The father is in this too, but what’s done is done and things happen for a reason so don’t be too hard on yourself ((hugs)). 

Shes very lucky she has friends atleast. I feel I can't really open up to my bf/ child's father and I honestly feel like i just can't share my feelings with him. Also he'll be working so that means I'll have the babywhile he works. Im trying to find counselling its just hard bc I only have 1 car and everyone uses it. By the time I have my own car the baby will be here and I won't have time for therapy or anything. I don't have anyone that would watch my kids for an hr or 2 so i can have time for myself--so I don't know how this will work. i thought about adoption alot bc i know i don't have much help from familt but the dad is involved so he wants her. I think Im gonna let him get a bassinet for the baby and keep it at his place and on his days off he can watch her bc I need a break too dammit.  opposed at first bc his house is a fixer upper but not too bad but I think i just need to let him do it so he can see how it's like first hand to be a parent. He can't if Im always trying to shield him. SO on his 3 off days he'll keep her I guess. I do hope his mom helps.

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On 1/25/2021 at 7:28 PM, Daisygal said:

Do you have any friends or other family that may be more supportive?  Is there anyway you can live on your own?  Sounds like you home life can be toxic at times and definitely contributing to your mental health.  Also, being pregnant, your hormones are changing which can effect your mood.  Sorry you are going through this:(

Right. sadly I dont but my mom was really nice today and bought clothes for the baby so that's a plus.

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On 1/27/2021 at 2:42 PM, SailingSoul said:

 I think Im gonna let him get a bassinet for the baby and keep it at his place and on his days off he can watch her bc I need a break too dammit.  opposed at first bc his house is a fixer upper but not too bad but I think i just need to let him do it so he can see how it's like first hand to be a parent. He can't if Im always trying to shield him. SO on his 3 off days he'll keep her I guess. I do hope his mom helps.

That sounds like a good plan. Hope it’ll go well cos yes u need your sleep at night. God knows how many sleepless nights we went through for our first born. 

Let it out here if there’s nowhere else, I think we can cope better with some mental support. When is your expected delivery date..

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