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Introvert enters a crowded room (gulp!)

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Hello, everyone. 

Just joined the community today and wanted to extend a warm greeting and gratitude for your supportive community. I'm a 50-something woman who has struggled with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for most of my life, although I was only formally diagnosed and treated in my early 30s.

I was also diagnosed with ADD as a midlife adult (when I was a child ADD was rarely diagnosed in girls who didn't "act out" in the classroom). This latter diagnosis, and my resulting treatment, has brought a mixture of relief and grief: relief that I'm better able to function, but grief that being diagnosed so late in my career seems to have permanently closed some doors to me, career-wise, and I fear I've missed opportunties that would have been rewarding if I'd pursued them earlier.

Of course, that regret (and my perceptions about my career being "over") might be a function of my under-controlled depression. I find myself tortured by thoughts of under-achievement and struggling to make sense of how to recover when the world looks so hostile to an unemployed woman in her 50s. Perhaps connecting with others who understand will be a key to breaking out of this sense that I've ruined my life.

In any case, thank you for being here and for listening. I wish everyone peace and good health, and I look forward to sharing our stories in a spirit of mutual support and loving kindness.



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Hi MommaMM and welcome to the forum 🙂

Sorry it took so long for you to get a diagnosis. Sadly it is not uncommon, and for many people getting the right diagnosis can take years. In an ideal world these disorders would be detected in early childhood, and even though more and more preschool programs pay attention to these things, there is still a long way to go.

I would try to not be too hard on myself. There are things that are just outside our control. I think the responsibility lies more in the hands of teachers and medical providers.
Also, sometimes the notions of achievement that float around in society can be a bit narrow. Sometimes all we can do is our best, with the knowledge and resources that are available to us.

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I also want to welcome you.  Your post helps me feel less isolated and alone with my own personal anguish and pain and so I am very grateful to you for posting it.   Accomplishment comes in many sizes and shapes.  I think helping people is one of the greatest accomplishments a human being can achieve and I know your post will help many people here. 

It takes enormous heroism to deal with the unbelievable burdens of mental illness.  Those not afflicted with these can never really understand how much heroism it takes to bear these burdens.  I hope you find these Forums a warm and friendly place and want to wish you only the very best.  As a fellow sufferer, I look forward to reading anything you decide to post here. 

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Thank you, everyone; I really appreciate your kind and generous words of welcome and encouragement. I can already tell I'm among friends and am grateful for this space to share our experiences together. I look forward to getting to know all of you as you wish to share. 

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