Parenting During the Pandemic

[CamiMoo]

This year has been a challenge for most of us especially parents. Imagine keeping your household safe while dealing with your own depressive and anxious thoughts. Parents have to deal with the new education system, new work setup, home activity and all. It's crazy! I salute all the parents who are doing well with this. 

What's your parenting style during this time? Are you dealing with much more depressive state due to the pandemic? How are you able to handle it?

[Tid322]

I don’t. I’m actually just sitting here crying while my son has locked himself in his closet to do his schoolwork because we are getting increasingly frustrated with one another. I’m not handling it at all. I’m barreling through each waking moment in a haze of nearly unconscious thoughts. I often disassociate  to avoid obtrusive thoughts of inadequacy and suicide. But this has been a thing since before the pandemic. It’s just now I cry in front of my kids because I have zero free time. 

[Floor2017]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that. If you can take a moment or two when everyone is sleep and do something relaxing for yourself. Yes, it is very difficult for the parents with children in school while this pandemic create chaos through out the land

[CamiMoo]

I'm sorry to hear that, It's really exhausting for mothers, even before the pandemic. Seriously, you need a time for yourself. Can't you allot a specific time for yourself, like in the morning. You do some exercises, then some coffee. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I cry myself out to an hour or two, then after than I'd take a shower and dress myself up. I try to look my best and it make me feel better.

Let them stay in a room for a while and they can do whatever they want while you do me time. It's better to let them be than to let them see you break down.

Wishing you well. Hugs!

[Tid322]

I cannot do anything early. My youngest sleeps with me still. He is a light sleeper, like myself. If I move, he is up. So I don’t sleep well and can’t even use the restroom alone in the middle of the night without him breaking down screaming and crying for me to take him with me.

 

At night, I am guilted for spending time alone. So even when I do take time for myself, I am feeling miserable guilt for the entirety of the time. My kids went from being happy and mostly independent; to extremely clingy and dependent on me for everything. Their every waking moment, and it is absolutely exhausting. My brain wants to explode when they ask to play pretend. But whatever it takes to keep them happy. So I try my best to engage but my brain won’t let me remember the story line and they grow frustrated with me at times. I fear they think I am ignoring them, or don’t care about what they have to say, just because my brain is defective. I’m trying my best. I want to make them happy. It’s the only thing giving me purpose. 

I’m glad we have started this holiday break. At least it will be one less stressor for us both for a couple weeks. 

[CamiMoo]

I feel you. It's what most mothers feel when they give a bit of time for themselves. However, you said it yourself. They might be thinking you're ignoring them. They're just kids but your every gesture means something to them in a way. When they feel you're being unhappy, they might also feel sad, or it could unconsciously affect their behavior. I know mothers would die for their kids but it doesn't have to be literal. I think the best gift we can give them is a happy and healthy mom.

Check out this article from CDC. It talks about coping with stress during this trying time. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are one heck of a woman! Remember that! Hugs

[CamiMoo]

Hi @Tid322 Just checkin up on you. How are you doing? Wishing you well.

@Floor2017 I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas!

[Tid322]

Thanks for checking on me. Still not well, not sure I ever will be. Like I said, it’s been years. I try my hardest not to cry in front of anyone. Always have. I’m really good at putting on a facade. I know I can’t fix myself, and it feels pointless to at my age. But I can work on building back up my facade. Being fake and hiding my emotions is attainable. 

[Caldmood]

Parenting is tough with or without the pandemic. If you ask me, working outside the house is beneficial to our mental health as we get to exercise our brain and get to see the world and not just the four corners of our home. We get to deal with different people. Don't get me wrong, children are the most precious thing, but we also need a time to grow as an individual. 

[CamiMoo]

Agree. Having a change of environment/surroundings is a stress reliever. It's like eating our favorite mean. Yes, it's glorious for three rows and a few but after that, you'll crave for something else. Nonetheless, I'm not complaining if staying home would be the least I can do to help stop the virus from spreading.

[Caldmood]

This could be the hardest thing in the world right now, taking care of everyone while keeping yourself sane.