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Hi everyone! I'm new here. Reading your posts has been very insightful. Everyone seems so kind. I hope you are all well.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and I have never been happier and more in love. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and I feel that we are truly made for each other. We have plans to move in together, get married and so many beautiful things that I couldn't imagine with anyone else.

However, about three weeks ago I suddenly lost all my emotions for him. It was like a switch went off. I have already lost feelings for friends and things I care about quite a while before this happened, but I had never lost that nice warm feeling in my chest when I thought of him even throughout all that. That warmth is what made all that bearable. I thought that at least if I had him nothing else mattered. But now I find myself agonising and questioning myself over whether I still love him. It becomes obsessive and brings me down so much. At first I had just thought I was PMSing, as these feelings came a week or so before my period. I even felt better for a few days near the end of my period. Then that horrible void returned. I know that I still love him but I just can't feel that warmth or "love" anymore and it is so hard to bear. I do have days and moments (mostly when I'm spending time with him or family) when things aren't as bad and I almost feel normal again. But when I'm alone the thoughts consume me. I know I don't want to lose him. There is no rational reason why I would want to, or no benefit that would come from leaving him, but my brain tells me that I'm just in denial or looking for reasons to stay with him even if I don't love him. It tells me "there's no way you have a mental illness, you just don't love him anymore." I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness, but googling "suddenly losing feelings for bf" led me here. I have struggled with finding motivation for things and wanting to socialise for years now. I am very introverted and don't really have any friends in real life. I still enjoy my time with him and it feels good to be with him (at least to the capacity to which I can feel) and talking to him or family or playing games are the only things that can give me a break from these thoughts. I've been talking to (online) friends more to try and break out of my shell and I am considering buying natural mood boosting supplements to hopefully help a bit.

I am terrified that I've lost my love for him. I feel deep down that I love him so much but I just can't experience any, or very little, joy. I really don't want to lose him. I'm jittering writing this.

Thank you so much for reading this and any comments and opinions would be very greatly appreciated :")

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I am going through this exact same thing right now.  I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months and he is hands down the best guy I've ever dated.  I've been head over heels in love with him until one day I just suddenly felt like I lost feelings out of nowhere.  This has been going on for almost 2 weeks and it's so frustrating.  I know I love him and would regret breaking up with him, but I can't shake these feelings.  It's consuming me and causing me to not enjoy my time with him.  I do struggle with anxiety and depression, and I have read that apparently these illnesses can cause this to happen.  I started Lexapro on Sunday and am hoping it will help.  I want more than anything to feel back to normal with him.  You are definitely not alone.

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19 hours ago, beaglelover said:

I am going through this exact same thing right now.  I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months and he is hands down the best guy I've ever dated.  I've been head over heels in love with him until one day I just suddenly felt like I lost feelings out of nowhere.  This has been going on for almost 2 weeks and it's so frustrating.  I know I love him and would regret breaking up with him, but I can't shake these feelings.  It's consuming me and causing me to not enjoy my time with him.  I do struggle with anxiety and depression, and I have read that apparently these illnesses can cause this to happen.  I started Lexapro on Sunday and am hoping it will help.  I want more than anything to feel back to normal with him.  You are definitely not alone.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and taking the time to respond. It is really reassuring to know I'm not the only one.  It's such a horrible feeling. Your brain is telling you you don't love them even though they are your everything and you would never want to lose them. I like to think that we wouldn't be so bothered about this if we didn't love them. But then there's always that negative counter-thought that makes you doubt everything again :(

I really hope you start feeling better, I know the pain you're experiencing and you are not alone either. Feel free to vent here if you ever need to, I know how agonizing it is and having these thoughts circling around your head with no outlet which makes it even worse.

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I agree, I think if I actually didn’t love him it wouldn’t bother me so much and I’d just give up. But I have faith that this will pass and everything will be okay. This forum has been helpful and made me realize that I am not the only one feeling this way. I hope things turn around for you as well! 

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Here is a question to think about. If you lose your attraction for this person whos to say it wont happen again of you find someone else?

It sounds like you enjoy spending time with them which is great. Here are some things I sometimes observe from others as why this happens.

-Under lying issues coming to surface

-Weight gain or weight loss

-Emotional needs unfulfilled

-Major life changes like moving or trying knot, having kids

For 1st one working out the issues help for 2nd one exercise together but some people dont like their partner losing weight. I have actually seen that break relstionships but it is beyond what I even know but other people know and can advise

If its the 4th one bonding more and commmunication helps.

There are many other reasons as well

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On 11/14/2020 at 11:54 AM, Evergreenforst4 said:

Here is a question to think about. If you lose your attraction for this person whos to say it wont happen again of you find someone else?

It sounds like you enjoy spending time with them which is great. Here are some things I sometimes observe from others as why this happens.

-Under lying issues coming to surface

-Weight gain or weight loss

-Emotional needs unfulfilled

-Major life changes like moving or trying knot, having kids

For 1st one working out the issues help for 2nd one exercise together but some people dont like their partner losing weight. I have actually seen that break relstionships but it is beyond what I even know but other people know and can advise

If its the 4th one bonding more and commmunication helps.

There are many other reasons as well

Thank you so much for your comment. And I think you’re right, I don’t think it’s him, I think it’s underlying issues coming to the surface because I have such bad anxiety and have been in unhealthy relationships until now. We have also decided to start exercising together and to get healthier. He’s great and I know it would be a mistake to walk away. I’m very grateful for the support in this forum! 

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I am glad,

I used to have a lot of anxiety as I grew up in a rough neighborhood and was in the military for several years.

What helped me was listening to classical music or symphonic music. I also like Japanese music. I would walk for an hour listening to music even with a stress ball and gradually during the walk my anxiety and dread would slowly turn into hope and euphoric feelings.

I like to think of feelings like a plant. You have to cultivate and nurture them, the feelings let you know what is wrong. People may feel sad at a loss or angry at an injustice and we need to use logic to listen to what feelings say to create a solution so they both work together.

I myself am very into bodybuilding and I love exercise. Because gyms are closed during covid I have a home gym but there are many fitness youtuber who have free calisthenics programs. I think programs are helpful sometimes because they have structure or going by F.I.T.T principle frequency intensity time type for cardio, strength and flexibility and healthy diet.

It can seem daunting so finding a simple program to try for a while abd make small healthy changes is a good way to go

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