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CaityJuju

Constant Feeling Something is Wrong Need Help

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I've suffered from depression/anxiety for a very long time. The last couple months I started declining in my mental health. I do everything in my power to be alone when it happens, and prefer it over being with anyone - which today is what lead me to cut off contact with my boyfriend. There's other personal reasons why it made me walk away, but most of it was due to a nagging bad feeling in my gut/stomach that has been hovering with me since January. It only ever seemed to be a major issue when I thought of my relationship or when my boyfriend was around. Some days I would get irritated quickly, even angry, and find myself in disgust at some things he did that bothered me a great deal (hygiene was a big one for me). Today has been the worst day in a long time, it just feels like the relationship was over for me and I didn't find myself attracted or wanting anything more out of it. Almost like something was pushing me towards this point, maybe I needed it? I feel cruel for even feeling this way, but my major problem is I STILL feel this nagging bad feeling in my gut.
 
It feels similar to anxiety/panic but it doesn't set me off like a trigger, instead it lingers for a while and constantly comes and goes. I can't get rid of this feeling and I think I have something seriously wrong with my mentally. It's to the point where I can't stand the thought of any relationship, or people for that matter, and I'd do anything in my power to be alone. Relationships bore me, as does life itself. It's quite dull and I have no path I'm following, I have no idea what to do with myself or what's going on mentally. Considering seeing a doctor, but that would take a stupid amount of time to hit the correct diagnosis. I also get extreme depression some days where I just cry and feel hopeless about everything. I push everyone away because I just don't have the capacity to accept people into my life anymore, and I'm 27 years old.
Anyone have any idea what could be causing this re-occuring feeling to haunt me? I'd like opinions. Thank you.

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You sound just like me.  I never really have a good feeling around anyone.  People usually make me sick.  Things like the holidays coming I look at those times in terror.  I get that feeling because most people are always up to something.  People seem all for themselves and I know when they show up they want something from me.  Nobody cares about me.  They want to use me at best and I'm sick of it.

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