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Groucho4u

Advice would be appreciated

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So I have to admit, I’m scared. Any advice would be appreciated. I’ve had depression and severe anxiety for 7 years now. Two weeks ago it felt like my medication, just about stopped working. I’m going through a period of chronic Physical pelvic pain and GI issues. I had a MRI, and lab work which all came back normal. I was put on an antibiotic, which I only took for 3 days. That’s when all of my depression and anxiety came back. I quit the antibiotic...  My GP sent me to a pelvic Physical Therapist, who discovered I had a pelvic floor disfunction. It’s all treatable, but I feel like my depression and anxiety are still bad. I spent several days looking up what it was like to withdrawal from Klonopin. What if since it seems like it’s not working so well, I have to come off. I don’t want to increase my dosage. Now I’m more scared since I’ve been taking 1/2mg twice daily for almost 2 years (as prescribed), all horror stories online about coming off this drug. I also take 300mg of Wellbutrin XL. More horror stories of withdrawal from that drug. It seems like some of the people that make those videos still need medication... It’s almost like saying mental illness doesn’t exist... just use cognitive therapy... I’m barely functional at work, enough to put in 8 hours, come home and collapse. I need help with accepting my situation and letting go of trying control the outcome. I’m working with a therapist, but life just feels so bleak right now. My doctor wants me to try 10mg of Celexa. I don’t know what to do. 

Edited by Groucho4u
Correction

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Is withrawal terrible yes but you don't have to quit these meds yet so try not to worry about it.  You're talking about a pill for anxiety and a pill for depression.  A lot of the horror stories are people that go off of those things and put nothing in it's place in my opinion.

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On 10/15/2020 at 9:34 AM, Groucho4u said:

I need help with accepting my situation and letting go of trying control the outcome.

Hey there. That's a lot to be dealing with on top of Covid and everything else. I'd be a little freaked out too. 

I really like this quote from your post! It's self-reflective, refreshingly insightful and it focuses on what you do have control over--your attitude towards these challenges. I want to help.

Perhaps to start with, let's thank your anxiety by really give it some appreciation. It's trying to warn you of possible trouble, that's helpful. What if we tell it something like, "hey anxiety. Thank you for drawing my attention to the potential problems so that I didn't ignore them. It's nice to know we both care about my health and to that end, I want to draw your attention to my mental health. After a certain point, your alerts overwhelm me. How can I let you know when it becomes too much for me?" 

Hope that didn't seem too weird. I call it making friends with our feelings. 👌🏻😬🤗

Next, let's address the drug withdrawal concerns directly. I took Wellbutrin for a while. I didn't take Clonazepam but I was on a different benzodiazepine for a while. I did not notice any withdrawal effects when I gradually tapered off of them. None. Nobody rushes to the internet to write about how their experience coming off a med was nothing worth writing about. Let the logic of that sit along side your anxiety.

Of course I have no idea how your body will respond when you discontinue the meds you're on. Your anxiety doesn't know either. I just want you to know that I followed my doc's directions and I was fine. Remember that you have some control over your attitude and that your beliefs have considerable influence on your feelings and thoughts.

Whatever happens with the meds and pelvis, you're going to end up ok. Wishing you some peace. 

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Thanks so much for your kind words.
 

Gee I never thought of it that way. I’m so used to my anxiety dictating what I do. It’s almost like I need to flip this thing on its head. My therapist told me yesterday that sometimes our thoughts keep us locked up in jail, but we never realize that the key to our release is already in our hand. 

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This might sound stupid but this one has helped me alot. I was dealing with depression for over 20 years and im starting to feel better..

 

You can listen to it for free with audible https://amzn.to/3lZGNwR

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On 10/17/2020 at 10:01 AM, Groucho4u said:

My therapist told me yesterday that sometimes our thoughts keep us locked up in jail, but we never realize that the key to our release is already in our hand. 

Thanks for sharing that bit of insight! I sometimes forget that anxiety is inside me, but it isn't me. It speaks in a very convincing voice!

Anyways what your therapist told you reminds me of a song lyric that's been on my mind: 

"It was right here all along
What you’re looking for is never gone"

- Unconditional by Nick Mulvey 

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