Can't motivate to shower for months on end. Rash and sores.

[rock49911 1]

Constant depression and can't motivate to shower for month after month. Got itchy and painful rash and some sores which is a big issue for me. From not being clean.  Almost never change my filthy clothes and I have clean items sitting in closet.  Dirty linens haven't been washed in 12+ months.  On max dose venlafaxine.  Totally alone year after year in rural area.  64 y.o. man.  Any ideas on how to tackle this problem?  TIA

[Oscar K 1,556]

Welcome new friend to our forum family.

You are not alone here and we understand how debilitating depression can be.

Our goal is to not leave anyone behind in their depression cave.

My motto is: DESPAIR not/REPAIR a lot.

I can't comment on the antidepressant because I have never used them.

My approach is to invoke clever and powerful metaphors to counteract   Old Man Depression.

Please stick with us and stick with yourself.

We will try to help as best we can.

Oscar

 

 

 

 

[watalife 6,303]

Do you have any friends or family to stay with because it sounds like you shouldn't be on your own? I would change the medicine first. If your not getting better or its not helping, I wouldn't stay on it. Do you have a permanent doctor?

[Epictetus 19,083]

I am so sorry you are in this situation.   It seems as though the Venlafaxine is not working for you.  Of course I cannot know.    Does the physician who prescribed it to you know about the situation?  Sometimes a medication change or the addition of another medication can be helpful.  A licensed physician or psychiatrist would know these things.  I am not a physician or medical professional and so cannot really give advice that you or anyone could or should rely upon.  I think you very heroic to be bearing with this situation you are in.  I hope you find something that really helps!

[Tid322 231]

I agree with the others that perhaps you should speak with your doctor about changing or adding to your current medication. I know getting to a doctor is even more difficult than a shower, so I’d suggest speaking to a teledoc if you can. Or finding someone that can offer a new medication by phone assessment to make it easier.

 

As for the shower, I have my days of not being able to get the motivation to do simple self care. It helps me to NOT think of, or address all the steps it’s going to take. So as soon as I get the idea, I kind of go into robot mode. Sometimes I can’t get the motivation to stand or even wash or do every part. But I get in there at least, and hope that I get enough motivation for the rest, since I’m already there. If my time allows, I usually don’t just immediately get dried and dressed either. Because that seems like a whole other obstacle I don’t have the motivation to conquer. Take it one step at a time. However you can. 

I hope you find the motivation to care for yourself and I hope you get the help you need. 

[Bulgakov 2,464]

 

On 10/14/2020 at 2:41 PM, rock49911 said:

Got itchy and painful rash and some sores which is a big issue for me. From not being clean.

40 minutes ago, Tid322 said:

But I get in there at least, and hope that I get enough motivation for the rest, since I’m already there.

[Bulgakov 2,464]

1 hour ago, Tid322 said:

But I get in there at least, and hope that I get enough motivation for the rest, since I’m already there.

 

On 10/14/2020 at 2:41 PM, rock49911 said:

Got itchy and painful rash and some sores which is a big issue for me. From not being clean.

Rock, that's one of the roughest problems I've ever read on the forum, and sorry it's yours.   Like the above have said, please see a doc. 

Until then, I'd go with TID's suggestion and put yourself in a position where you pretty much have to follow through.  I do that a good bit, with lots of interests and projects.  I'll neatly pile up the tools and pieces to do a small job, then walk around it and stare at it until I can't stand it anymore, then I make a move.  Not joking, you might try getting undressed, and getting in the shower or tub. 

Hope relief finds you, Bulgakov

[jeffreyd 37]

Sorry you are going through this. I suffer with depression (and anxiety) as well. I know how strong the urge can be to do nothing, even though you know it might help. I was on venlafaxine as well for a time, then tried many other similar drugs. Sometimes their efficacy just drops. Have you talked to your doc about other options? I tried many things, just making that appt with the doc felt like an accomplishment, to know there are other options out there.

I agree that being alone can be difficult. COVID is amplifying this as well. Social interaction definitely helps me some, so I try to call someone everyday. Or go to the store and get some of my favorite snacks, just to get out. 

I also need to force myself into activities, or I will sleep most of the day. I try and make plans that I cannot get out of, or make it very easy to take some action. Like putting my clothes next to the bed, so I do not give myself a chance to think, I just get dressed, next thing you know I am up and outside, maybe driving to the coffee place. 

Maybe you could put your clothes in the bathroom, so you have to go there to get dressed, then the shower is right there. Turn it on, and feel that warm water on your skin. Showers can energize. As my therapist says, "don't forfeit, just show up". Then I see where it goes from there.

Hope you find some comfort in this forum, I know I have. We are all out here, you are never alone. 

[Dann 1]

The easiest solution would be to do nothing in the shower instead of doing nothing outside of the shower. Bring your dirty clothes in with you while you're at it.

[Oscar K 1,556]

I will say it again and again.

We are not helpless confronting Old Man Depression.

Whatever obstacle keeps us from breaking free of the grip of depression is a metaphorical obstacle.

Metaphors only exist when we imagine, pretend and make believe them into existence.

Don't Despair just Repair.

We all have unlimited metaphorical tools to REPAIR our emotional damage.

Oscar