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This is awkward I don't know how to express how I feel rn I'm short on words, it seems like I don't know who I'm anymore. With each day passing it doesn't feel right to be alive. No matter how much I pretend or try to distract these thoughts, but they come back every once in a while stronger than ever. I have these thoughts where I commit suicide in many ways, I literally watch myself die, I can feel it. I don't know how to stop. It's eating me from inside.

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Welcome new friend to our forum.

We are here for each other.

We are not professionals but we understand how debilitating depression can be.

My feeling is that we are never helpless confronting Old Man Depression.

My approach is to metaphorically anchor myself outside my deep depression cave.

Please keep posting your concerns and we will try to help as best we can.

Oscar

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I am very sorry you are having these unhappy experiences.  A visit to a physician might be helpful to you.  I was in a situation similar to what you described and a doctor helped me so much, really changed my life.  really saved my life!   Suicidal ideation is often the symptom of brain pathology.   One cannot always get better on one's own without the help of a caring physician.  Please call a crisis hotline for real help.  None of us here are crisis counselors and we wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.   I hope you will be okay and not to come to harm.  If I was a crisis counselor I would talk to you and help you in person, but sadly I am not qualified and able to help in this way.  If things start spiraling out of control please go to a hospital emergency room.  They can help.  You deserve the help of medical professionals and not just fellow sufferers of mental illness like we are. 

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