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Just need to vent


Irish63

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I decided to go off meds for several reasons, zero emotions, zero sex drive, just flat lined. Was off for a month did pretty well. About a week after I went off, and I didn't tell my husband or anyone, because dare I have a mood, that would be the blame and they'd tell me to take a happy pill. Seriously not happy pills.

My only true friend here in the rural town that had lived through her own trauma, her and her husband bought a Harley Trike, and as they were leaving town to go to Laramie, he fish tailed and they hit someone head on, they both died instantly. I am the rural newspaper photographer here and was  called to go get a pic for the paper there was an accident 2 miles up the road, it was them I was first on scene other than a man who saw it happen. .I don't know how to deal with this.   I just feel lost. So many things happening along with this. 

So back on the meds I go it seems. My husbands anger issues, he just gripes and woe is me a lot. But loud, I react terribly to that from the past. Badly I'd say. I tried talking to my son who is almost 30 about dads anger issues, and he pretty much told me I am wrong and he didn't want me to talk about him anymore.  I felt and still do feel like a monster. Yes depression ptsd and borderline are kicking my butt right now. I just am not doing good at all. Not good.

I do not have a therapist I can go to, finances and mode of transportation are limited.  Just venting again, feeling alone and tired. Thanks

 

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Sorry to read about your problems.

My message to our members is that we are never helpless confronting Old Man Depression.

Personally I try to counteract the debilitating effects of depression with powerful and clever metaphors.

Old Man Depression plays awful tricks on our psyches so my feeling is we should play some clever tricks right back.

I try to keep myself metaphorically anchored outside my deep depression cave.

Maybe this can help a little.

Oscar

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4 hours ago, Irish63 said:

 

I'm pretty new around here, but I wouldn't have thought this was the wrong place for your post. I'm truly sorry for what you have gone through. It sounds awful and lonely, to lose your friend, and to seemingly be unhappy at home. I have no solutions for you I'm afraid, while having had depression for a very long time, I am only recently starting to get a bit of a handle on it - but still a long way to go. A good friend told me though that building a positive relationship with myself was so important. While I'm not there yet, it is what I am striving for. I hope that maybe you can too. I have been helped though by reading through some posts on this forum though, and hearing the kind words expressed by the members, sometimes even for me.

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