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Z Diggity Dog

Getting Ignored

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Sorry to hear this. It's not OK to be ignored by people. It hurts. 

Why do people do it? 

1.I think maybe sometimes if you're a really quiet person they don't feel as though you will engage with them and so don't attempt to engage with you either. 

2.Sometimes people are too distracted by their own stuff. 

3. Sometimes if you are not an active part of someone's social circle you just aren't seen or acknowledged. 

4. Sometimes it can be a power thing where they feel superior and that they don't talk to people who are beneath them in social standing or the pecking order at work/ in society. 

That's what I would say but I don't know everything. Just some thoughts 🤔

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2 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Sorry to hear this. It's not OK to be ignored by people. It hurts. 

Why do people do it? 

1.I think maybe sometimes if you're a really quiet person they don't feel as though you will engage with them and so don't attempt to engage with you either. 

2.Sometimes people are too distracted by their own stuff. 

3. Sometimes if you are not an active part of someone's social circle you just aren't seen or acknowledged. 

4. Sometimes it can be a power thing where they feel superior and that they don't talk to people who are beneath them in social standing or the pecking order at work/ in society. 

That's what I would say but I don't know everything. Just some thoughts 🤔

OK thanks. 

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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

2.Sometimes people are too distracted by their own stuff.

Especially item #2!  It is amazing how many people's worlds extend only as far as they can reach.  

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4 hours ago, Epictetus said:

Hi Diggety Dog,

I am sorry that is happening to you.  Do you think you could give us some examples of occurrences when this has happened to you? 

Hi there. I've got a cousin who tends to ignore my texts for example. I sent him a text yesterday with a joke and he never responded.

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On 9/11/2020 at 5:36 PM, Z Diggity Dog said:

I have several people at my job and a few people in my family who tend to ignore me pretty consistently. Why do people do this? Is it like a power thing? 

Can't speak from a job stand point but know the feeling w/ family all too well.

I'd try talking to them about it.

Can't say it 100% worked when I did it w/ my fam but they're trying to improve.

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Yeah I'm always ignored.  It's almost like it doesn't even occur to people to care like I'm not even a human like the rest of them.  It's like I'm an old chair in the room and of course we're not going to treat you human.

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8 hours ago, zbrown016 said:

Can't speak from a job stand point but know the feeling w/ family all too well.

I'd try talking to them about it.

Can't say it 100% worked when I did it w/ my fam but they're trying to improve.

OK thanks. 

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20 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I'm always ignored.  It's almost like it doesn't even occur to people to care like I'm not even a human like the rest of them.  It's like I'm an old chair in the room and of course we're not going to treat you human.

Ya I'm just going to have nothing to do with these people anymore. Even if it means that I have no friends. 

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When I was in some of my worst places personally over the past few years, I just wouldn't respond to people who contacted me - family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. It is not as though it happened often, only occasionally. It wasn't that I was ignoring them: I would read the messages. It was just that I couldn't face writing a reply, couldn't think of what I could say that would merit me taking any time from the people who contacted me, even if they had asked for something specific. I just couldn't lift my head out out of the hole I had dug myself into to see that I was still part of the world, even if only a very small and insignificant part. It must have seemed that I was ignoring them all, and if I hadn't been so self-absorbed, I would have seen how that could have affected other people. Like @Nightjar said in point #2, I selfishly just couldn't see past myself.

Sorry to go off-topic @Z Diggity Dog, but your post reminded me that I've been part of the problem you've described, and I'm sorry for it. I'm not of course claiming that your family and co-workers are like me, but I would suggest that maybe it's not about you but about them. I don't mean this disrespectfully to you of course, I mean that maybe they are the ones with the problems, and not you at all. Maybe you're putting the blame on yourself, when actually there is nothing about you that is 'at fault'. I don't know you of course, so maybe I'm way off, and if so, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just trying to justify myself. I try hard to treat everyone I meet with respect, compassion and kindness, however difficult that is sometimes, because I don't know them and what they are going through, just as they don't with me. I often fail, and that's usually when I've fallen back into my self-made hole.

Sorry, this got away from me a bit...

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On 9/15/2020 at 4:59 PM, aterrou said:

When I was in some of my worst places personally over the past few years, I just wouldn't respond to people who contacted me - family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. It is not as though it happened often, only occasionally. It wasn't that I was ignoring them: I would read the messages. It was just that I couldn't face writing a reply, couldn't think of what I could say that would merit me taking any time from the people who contacted me, even if they had asked for something specific. I just couldn't lift my head out out of the hole I had dug myself into to see that I was still part of the world, even if only a very small and insignificant part. It must have seemed that I was ignoring them all, and if I hadn't been so self-absorbed, I would have seen how that could have affected other people. Like @Nightjar said in point #2, I selfishly just couldn't see past myself.

Sorry to go off-topic @Z Diggity Dog, but your post reminded me that I've been part of the problem you've described, and I'm sorry for it. I'm not of course claiming that your family and co-workers are like me, but I would suggest that maybe it's not about you but about them. I don't mean this disrespectfully to you of course, I mean that maybe they are the ones with the problems, and not you at all. Maybe you're putting the blame on yourself, when actually there is nothing about you that is 'at fault'. I don't know you of course, so maybe I'm way off, and if so, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just trying to justify myself. I try hard to treat everyone I meet with respect, compassion and kindness, however difficult that is sometimes, because I don't know them and what they are going through, just as they don't with me. I often fail, and that's usually when I've fallen back into my self-made hole.

Sorry, this got away from me a bit...

No problem. Thanks for responding to my post. Ya in many cases it might just be about them and not me. 

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