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celine___1

Hot to continue living after a broken dream?

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Hello. I am a Christian in her 20's who desperately needs your help and spiritual guidance because from my family, only I am the believer and I absolutely have no other friends or close people who are believers, which makes it impossible for me to seek any similar help (and I started therapy because I couldn't bare the pain any longer).

Since I remember myself, I had a dream to live in the States and it wasn't the typical stupid American dream. I just always felt that I would be completely happy there - I loved almost everything there, especially the fact that I can share my faith properly. In my country, believers are not so many and they aren't Protestant - we go to church alone and etc. I had the chance to go there for Work and Travel and I loved it even more. However, lately, my only one dream to live there was completely shattered. No matter how much I tried all these years, there are so many reasons and personal obstacles in my life, making it completely impossible to realize. And I wanted to be legal, which is even more impossible since I can't achieve none of the things to be legal there.

I can't describe how difficult, devastating, and exhausting this is for me to the point that I stopped having meaning in life... Since I am a believer, it makes it even more harder as I keep asking God why did he let this happen when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it? It feels so unfair and painful since I've never made anything so bad or horrific in my life that would make God punish me or something like this. What is more - every time, when there was an opportunity for me and people around me to cheat or lie for something, I have ALWAYS chosen the right and truthful path, no matter what... and it makes me feel even more angrier, alone, and devastated..

I keep reading and listening that that God knows your true desires and when you work hard and pray for them, He will let them happen. And no matter how much I tried, my dream was shattered and made impossible. While I know many people that didn't even care about that and they successfully live my dream.... Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me... Also, I thought that maybe God has a better plan for me here in my country. However, nothing in my life is good here, not to mention to get better with all my endless problems.. My parents don't care about me, my friends are not there for me when I've always been there for them, despite all my hard work, I am treated badly in my work and it's an emotional abuse. And on the top of that - I am experiencing this hell all alone...

For me, every day is an emotional torture, trying to understand why did God allow my only dream to be shattered and as a result, to be extremely unhappy and devastated? Please, I really need your piece of wisdom and advice since it hurts so bad.

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I read your post and am truly sorry to hear the turmoil you are experiencing.

No one should suffer so much.

We tend not to deal with religious beliefs here because we have people from all walks of life.

I will say that we are never helpless confronting depression issues.

We can and must change the way we think about our problems.

Hoping you find a supportive home here with us.

Oscar 

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Not living in the States can be a blessing in disguise, they've been in the news for wrong reasons for years: no subsidized healthcare, police brutalities…and who's the leader of their government again?

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I am really sorry about your situation. 

What I would like to say to you is not to focus on the past. You need to start making new plans or goals. You have already started therapy and that is major step. Well done!

For now make small changes and enjoy the little things

try to exercise daily even if it is just walking

plan things to do each day

start learning a new skill online

Keep having your therapy session and change your daily routine for now. Focus first on improving your health. 

 

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Yes, I guess it's what HE wants for me after all and I must put Him first, but one of the main reasons to have this dream is exactly to go to church where i think people praise God more and be with Him more... and he doesn't let this happen even if it's more for Him than for me?
Plus, if it was meant for me to have something better than my life in America, why does my life keep getting worse and worse here? And only bad things happen to me here? I don't understand it and this keeps eating me from inside and torturing me

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Consider the fact that 'HE' does not exist! Look, I LOVE the fact that religions try to preach that good stuff, like in the Hour of Power on sunday mornings.

That's all good, but have you ever seen, touched, smelled or heard 'HIM'? No? It's no coincidence, because neither have billions of others.

Don't rely on him and think that good stuff will automatically come if you do x and then y. Life doesn't work that way!

Everything that brought you where you are now is caused by real life earthly events. You may call it his 'will', but I call it cause and effect - in other words: reality.

Constantly trying to do the right thing doesn't work in this harsh world, sometimes you've got to be the wolf and let others be the sheep.
 

It sucks to suffer. I know all about it. I suffer mentally. Others physically. Some aren't ever born, others grow to be over 100 years old without too much trouble.

All we can do is try our best and try to accept our fate. But more importantly, we must not become a push-over. Don't feel guilty about trying to get it your way!

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