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I often argue with people I don't know on Facebook or other social platforms for different

reasons and shortly turn out to be personal attacks and hate speech

I totally understand that I could just ignore them and report to the related admin 

but I don't emotionally feel better by doing this. I turn out starting a verbal fight with them

and this badly affects my emotion, time, and energy

 

I tell this to my friend and some of my positive friends always say to me with things like - Ignore those

people -- Don't let them live in your mind rent-free -- They are loser.... anything and anything ....

 

I have tried. I have tried to ignore them, but some of them keep catching my attention, they keep 

re-igniting the "fire". I think of what I said by my friend, but their wording don't help me a lot.

 

To fight back, it will keep repeating a bad emotional cycle. Wasting time and affecting normal life.

Not to fight back, I can feel that anger is building up within me.

 

What should I do?

 

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Get off of facebook when you start feeling like that.  If you don't want to stay off permanently just take a break.  Don't go on there for a week.  There are people on there that thrive on aggrevating and frustrating people.  They remind me of bullys when I was a kid.  They are also emotional vampires they feed on other peoples misery.  I was on there for a few years been off for over 5 years.

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On 7/13/2020 at 6:58 PM, louis2008 said:

 

 

To fight back, it will keep repeating a bad emotional cycle. Wasting time and affecting normal life.

Not to fight back, I can feel that anger is building up within me.

 

What should I do?

 

Hi louis2008,

 

Get out of there. I would find a way - any way - to avoid visiting those places where the re-ignition happens. If you're like me, you feel like walking away would allow the "other" argument will gain strength and spread and fill the world with its horrible wrongness.

 

But remember, most of the people who like to argue on social media do it because they have nothing else to do, and they're looking for a response and they relish the combat. They want to feel like they're pushing somebody's buttons. If you think about it, fighting with them is more of a victory for them than just leaving them alone.

 

If that doesn't work, do physical exercise. When you feel that edgy energy rising up, physically put it into something. Once, on a similar whim, I ordered a white wax staff and learned quarter staff fighting and it was awesome. I got pretty good, developed self-discipline, gained confidence, and the whole thing was much more fun than "fighting" on social media. Whatever you choose, just don't forget the very important step of calming your mind afterwards 😉 

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Hi!

I had the same problem. It was always so easy for me to get angry and end up arguing with people (strangers) on social media. It took a long time for me to figure out how to stop. Many of these steps are just repeating what has already been said so I apologize for that.

  1. Recognize when someone is purposefully trying to upset you. These are trolls. They may not even believe what they are writing. They just want to make people angry and they don't have to suffer any repercussions for what they write on the internet the same way they would if they said the same things in person.
  2. If you are on Youtube, try not to scroll down and read the comments. Sometimes when I am on a political video, I actively repeat in my head "don't read the comments. don't read the comments." because I know that there will be at least one comment that will upset me.
  3. If you are on Facebook, you can actually unfollow a post. So, if you feel compelled to reply, make your one reply and then immediately unfollow the post.
  4. If you are on Instagram, you can restrict a specific user. On your smartphone, go into your notifications. Press and hold one of the notifications by a user that is upsetting you. Click "restrict (username)." I actually had to do this once last week with someone who was caught trying to pretend they were a nationality that they weren't just to trash a tv show based in that country, but the user made a ridiculous mistake that exposed them for the liar they were. Instead of just taking the L, they doubled down and started lying the save face. Once that user outright started lying, I restricted them. Instagram hasn't notified me of any of their responses since and I haven't got looking. 
  5. Trying taking a breather before replying. I mean, put down your phone or walk away from your computer and try not to come back to it for 10 minutes. You may find that you are not as upset once you come back.
  6. Try finding a hobby that requires a lot of physical exertion. I joined a dance studio and it really helps. I can put all of my anger into each dance move. Now I play Just Dance because of the pandemic. 
  7. If all else fails. You can tell your browser to block certain sites. I used to do this when I was doing my masters and would find myself on Facebook instead of finishing up whatever assignment I needed to do. I am using Chrome so I had to download a free extension in order to do it.

I hope this helps. Hugs. I know it's hard but you can get through this. We are all here for you.

    

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