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candy22

Why do bad things have to happen?

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I can’t get past why traumatic things had to happen to me and continue to happen to me. Loneliness, Bullying (workplace and school), child abuse, unemployment, disability, chronic pain, etc.. I just feel like if I didn’t experience these things then maybe I wouldn’t be suffering so severely with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. It’s just not fair. I hate when people say “It made you stronger.” It didn’t, it made me weaker. I hate the statement “It could be worse”, it is the worse to me. Yes, I go to therapy. Yes, I take medicine. Yes, I pray. But, I feel like nothing is working at all. I’m so frustrated. 

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Bad things happed to those of us born cursed/jinxed.

Just this morning:

- the Bluetooth earphones I bought less than a month ago stopped working

- my work email **** the **** up

And is not even 8am yet

In this universe whether you're born lucky or not is Everything

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@candy22 I am sorry that you're in pain physically, mentally, spiritually - I can't imagine the toll it is taking on you. You mentioned what you're doing to heal, the different forms of help you're accepting (including allowing us to see you) - I think this willingness as opposed to willfulness speaks highly of you. 

I don't know why these things happened/are happening. I take the view that a sign of growth is pain and struggle is universal. As for trauma, I suppose that there is no clock on the healing process. I think maybe that process is in stages: preparation, exploration, integration. 

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On 6/1/2020 at 6:08 AM, Atra said:

@candy22 I am sorry that you're in pain physically, mentally, spiritually - I can't imagine the toll it is taking on you. You mentioned what you're doing to heal, the different forms of help you're accepting (including allowing us to see you) - I think this willingness as opposed to willfulness speaks highly of you. 

I don't know why these things happened/are happening. I take the view that a sign of growth is pain and struggle is universal. As for trauma, I suppose that there is no clock on the healing process. I think maybe that process is in stages: preparation, exploration, integration. 

Thank you for your response. Yes, I am taking different forms of help to heal but I wish something would feel like it is working. Yes, you are right, struggle is universal and everyone struggles but I do believe some people struggle more than others (I believe I do).  And, yes there is no time limit on how long it takes to heal. 

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@candy22, I am sorry you are going through these struggles.  You are right that the platitudes people spout do not help.  There are two I especially despise.  "Try not to take things personally."  (Why not??  The crap is happening to me ... personally!)  .and.  "You have to pick your battles."  (Really!!  They seem to have picked me!)

Hope things get much better for you!

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You have to believe in yourself, and really take baby steps to letting go of the past issues. The past abuse, etc will keep holding onto you until you decide to let it go. What i do is make each day brand new. Emotionally and physiologically you should renew your yourself each day. You will see that over time you will start to let these issues go. I think you also should get closure on the issues in a way that is positive. Like justice, etc.

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