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Aislinn

Depressed Mom...Seeking Help/advice

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I posted in this forum last summer about my mom as well.   I’m seeking some additional advice regarding how to help her, who is suffering from worsening depression.

Background info:  My mom’s depression has been increasingly worsening during the past 1-2 years.  There are definitely genetic factors here, as my grandma has severe, untreated depression, and apparently my great-grandma did.  Mom's two siblings also suffer from depression.  I know she has been prescribed anti-depressants; though I don’t know to what extent she takes that med.  She used to occasionally see a counselor (I think it may have been once a month).  Since Covid, she doesn't to go to these appointments.  She no longer takes care of herself, generally sits or sleeps a large portion of the day.  She has physical health issues that worry me, but she does not address them.  She is fixated on random things (some of which are irrational, and we can’t get her to see the rational/logical side), and frequently ruminates on past issues/insults. 

Our family does have significant, conflicting personalities, and I think this is a factor here.  When we do suggest her seeking help, she brushes the suggestion away.  Some of this is likely her depression; but this strong-willed/defiant attitude is just her general personality.

We want so much to help her, and for her to seek appropriate help, and for her to return to the ‘Mom’ I grew up with.  I believe frequent visits with a psychiatrist would be a good first step, along with any medications/changes.  Perhaps a voluntary in-patient stay (though I don’t think we can convince her of this option). 

We live in a rural area with limited access to this level of psychiatric care.  My mom is also obsessed about money & costs, and may refuse/has previously refused, to spend money on such needs.

My family and I just don’t know what do to.  We’re pretty much just existing around her depression.  I’m considering whether other individuals in our family or social circle would be able to talk with her, someone who Mom would actually listen to, and maybe that would help her to seek medical help/treatment.

Any anyone has advice; I would appreciate it.  Thank you for reading.

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Dear Aislinn,

I am so sorry about your mother's depression.  Wish I knew what to say that would help, but sadly I do not know what I would do if I was in your situation.  Hopefully others here will see your post and respond with something helpful.  This whole thing must be so demoralizing and difficult.

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