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Tymothi

Is there an OCD opposite of hoarding?

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Some people compulsively collect things to heal pain - bingeing, hoarding, etc. Is there an opposite? A fear of collecting things? Like an anorexia of ownership?

 

My mother abandoned me when I was a teenager, so that fed 20+ years of being afraid to trust anyone or invest in anyone. Why invite someone into my life if I'm going to lose them? It became a somewhat helpful neurosis when I left home in 2006 with nothing but a suitcase, as I channeled energy into making it a useful tool for staying mobile - why invite things into my life if they're going to hold me in place? The things you own end up owning you, etc. It made moving easy and living a lot less painful.

 

But recently, after I started living in a new home (I can't stay "move in" because it's a suitcase and a backpack) someone generously tried to give me a refrigerator and I panicked - not because I was going to have to pay him back but because of a terror that it's too big to move by myself if things go bad. As I yelled in the face of selfless generosity, "What if I get used to it?!" I realized I may have taken that monastic mentality a little too far.

 

But did I? I really won't be able to move it by myself, and in the meantime I've hesitantly started to put small things in there, literally one by one. I do live in hurricane territory where we lose power frequently, so I'm very nervous. Is there a term for such a thing, or is it just an outgrowth of that fear of rejection?

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I suppose I'm the opposite of hoarding.  Every time I'm nervous I'm throwing things away or burning things outside or spring cleaning a million times.  I always feel like the less things I have to worry about the better.  Hoarding or sitting still when there is a mess or something is out of place is impossible for me.

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So it's like a constant OCD-fueled purge of clutter? Maybe that's it - and maybe that's a good thing. Like, if you keep your engine lines clear they'll never jam or clog or misfire or whatever. That doesn't sound so bad, so I guess it's only bad if the behavior is preventing you from doing something you would otherwise enjoy.

 

But since you wouldn't know the amount of good it's doing - since you never stop doing it - how can you really see whether or not it's making a difference? Know what I mean? It's all you've ever known.... O_O

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On 5/21/2020 at 1:48 PM, Tymothi said:

So it's like a constant OCD-fueled purge of clutter? Maybe that's it - and maybe that's a good thing. Like, if you keep your engine lines clear they'll never jam or clog or misfire or whatever. That doesn't sound so bad, so I guess it's only bad if the behavior is preventing you from doing something you would otherwise enjoy.

Yes at least for me.  I'm always a pressure cooker ready to boil over.  Pretty much everything is bothersome to me in some way so the less I can have of everything the better.  For me everything is something to worry about in some way so I don't want it.

On 5/21/2020 at 1:48 PM, Tymothi said:

But since you wouldn't know the amount of good it's doing - since you never stop doing it - how can you really see whether or not it's making a difference? Know what I mean? It's all you've ever known.... O_O

Nothing that has to do with OCD really helps but our mind thinks it does.  Is stress relief that never ends really working or working us into the ground and into the nut house?

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