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Claire95

I’m Way Too Sensitive (?)

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Posted (edited)

Hi, 

How is everyone doing. I hope we all in good condition despite this tough time.

Lately, I was feeling very upset. Screwed up some tasks at work and people were getting mad at me. I was really hurt by the email response, and I just ignore that email. I know it’s unprofessional, but I just don’t know how to deal with that. I spend my weekend sleeping and crying over it and some shitty things happen lately. Even forgot to eat. I feel so incompetent at work, took to much time doing tasks, too little knowledge. Hell, I even dream about my job. I don’t know if I ever meant for this job. I wonder if it is me that too sensitive and emotional with everything. I can’t seem to let go of that response, it bother me sooo much. “I’m here to work not to make friend or anything. They are just people I’m working with, not my family or friends. So why should I care”. No matter how much I try to convince myself, I just can’t get that out from my head. Lately, I was thinking about quitting, but I don’t have any backup plan, not financially stable to support myself either. Can’t really afford to be jobless in this economy. 

Yesterday was my birthday, so I kind of hoping things will be all sunshine. But nope, life is just cruel and I just spending whole day crying. I haven’t see my family for 3 months because of Covid19 lockdown. God, I just miss them so much. I just felt like I can’t handle this anymore. I hope Monday never come. 
 

 

Edited by Claire95

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You sound like me at every job I've ever had.  The truth is most people aren't like we are at work.  Most people don't care whatsoever.  If you're someone that shows up every time you're seen as a star employee in this world.  The truth is I don't really care either.  It's just my mind that won't stop torturing me about things.

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Happy Belated Birthday!  I'm sorry you are stuck in this situation.  If I knew what do that would help . . . or what to say . . . I would.  Sure hope you find peace!

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 Siblings, may god protect us from them! Whew, me and my brother. I love him, but he is the maniac who trash-talks you one day, then tells on you for it. (This was when we were little) We still do not get along. I am also sensitive, and my brother is just to honest and VERY picky, he's older and STILL TOTALLY addicted to electronics. If he doesn't like something you work on SO hard, he'll just say, "Ew, that sucks, actually, what is it." I am such a little kid at heart, (when I am not depressed) and make things out of K'nex and Legos the he never could and he's just like "meh". We have problems, HELP!

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Happy birthday Claire95!!. 🎂

I’m sorry to hear you had such a terrible weekend. My heart goes out to you. People can be carelessly cruel and I know what is like to be humiliated through email correspondence where the words on the screen haunt you for days. Although I’m sure our experiences are different, I think it’s good to let it hurt for just a little bit otherwise you wouldn’t be human. Wishing you a speedy recovery from this. You deserve better.

-S

 

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This is my life right now too! I can't stop feeling like I'm constantly getting screwed over or kicked in the gut at work. My boss did something completely rude today -- one of those things that you'd hear and say, "No, you just don't do that to people." It was completely unprofessional. She's a fairly new manager, so I know she is green and doesn't realize how thoughtless she is. I called her on it; was calm about it, and just said I found her decision disheartening, and that I would like to have had the courtesy of completing my project before she just yanked it away and gave it to someone else. I explained that when I start a project, I want to see it through to the end. She of course got defensive and accused me of saying things I absolutely did not say (which is clear if you read my email, but she doesn't read, which is just another insult). 

I get so tired of being treated like this, and no matter what I do -- whether I have my depression under control or not -- I can't get the other person to understand or admit they've done anything inappropriate, and it's maddening. I know I'm not hallucinating this shit! What is so freaking hard about apologizing when you've done something wrong? And why don't I ever seem to deserve that much??

I freaking HATE work. All work. It's all bullshit that has nothing to do with why we exist. I know I wasn't born to do other people's bidding my whole life, yet I can't see a way out of it. I could quit and be fine for a while, but I'd have to dive right back into job searching, and it would be even harder this time. I have been working for 30 years, and have had like 18 employers. I need to stick at one place for a while. I just can't deal with assholes, or being treated like I'm less than someone else because of their title. And rules like, "You can't talk directly to that person. You need to email me, and let me ask them the question for you." Why am I not "good enough" to talk to this person?! It's the same story everywhere I end up.

Work alone is enough to make me want to walk into traffic or try to get COVID. 

I wish I had an answer, believe me. I just try to get what enjoyment I can out of the rest of my life, and hope I don't live too long.

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I think you are indeed being too sensitive. If you screw up tasks that look good or bad on others you can expect people to get mad at you if you hold responsibility. Its just life. When your entrusted with power of something, you are expected to use it efficiently over people that you have power over. For example if you are required to help people in some way, and you screw it up, chances are that they will be mad at you. Just take it on the chin and do better next time, and dont forget to apologise. You can call you family cant you via phone or email them, and happy belated birthday by the way. 

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