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I don't care about my job and hardly getting work done during this COVID-19 pandemic


Ixeua

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I finally ended my long (years) struggle with depression sometime near the last few months of 2016.  I graduated from a Masters last year. Got a new job some months later. I literally reported for work for just a day when I was told to not come to work anymore and work at home instead. 

Thing is, for the past few months during this pandemic, I hardly got any work done. I feel a bit embarrassed about it but I just don't seem to care anymore.

I am not depressed. I just don't care that much about my job.

There's nothing wrong with my job. They are supportive online. But I just don't care. With the world at a standstill and all these quarantines and lockdowns all over the world I just don't see a point.

The rational side of me says, you need a pay check and you need to think of your future so that you are financially free eventually. But another side of me does not care about that. I just don't care that much of any future goals in this world now where everyone stays indoors over the past few months. In recent weeks, many places around the world are starting to ease restrictions. But life is just not the same anymore. 

 

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I know exactly how that feels. I have a horrible case of the "mehs" when it comes to work. Part of it is burnout after 31.5 years at the same place, but another part of it is "what's the point?"

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Well I not only see myself as a loser because all the more I can do at 41 is mow yards I also get sick from it because I'm allergic to most things out there so most of the time I hope I fall off the mower and it keeps going and runs me over to be honest.

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It certainly does not help that you were only on the job for one day before the work-at-home started.  You did not get a chance to feel like you 'belong' at the workplace or create any personal working relationships with your coworkers.

Give yourself some slack.  Hang on as best you can, and start to (albeit slowly) create working relationships.  My best guess (and it is only a guess!) is that you will feel (and be) more productive as you start to see yourself as a real part of your employer's organization.  Best of luck to you!

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It seems like getting the job during the pandemic didn’t let you acclimate and get to know the people at your workplace. It must be hard to try to get into it from home. I’m sorry that has happened for you.

Are you still in touch with the doctor and/or therapist who helped you through your depression? I wonder if the situation is causing some underlying depression/dysthymia to be present.

I hope that you get some of your enthusiasm back!

Stay safe and be well.

C

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Hi, I can relate to that a lot, currently I am working at home and I hardly get any work done,  all I do is lay on my bed and watch the day pass away. I am not doing much of anything, but I do feel depressed.

Hope you get some motivation 

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Yeah, I mean, I get so distracted and depressed until all my life is is just a bunch of "Whatever, I don't care." I had a house fire, and the day this all started was the day we moved back in, so I had to wait another season before life is back to normal. But part of me is wondering if there even IS a normal anymore. Life is so unpredictable that I feel like I will never be safe again, like the world is just CONSTANTLY TRYING TO **** ME. Pandemics, fires, even small things, like burning my hand a getting a very painful blister. It feels like I am being punished for living, and that eventually, I am going to die because of it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks everyone for your replies.

After some delays due to the pandemic, I was able to get my pay for the past 2 months. Thankfully, the company I work at was generous to give employees extra because of the pandemic. Though at the same time, I feel like I did nothing to deserve it. I know this is silly (or maybe not) but the only reason I keep going is because I am getting paid anyway. I am only doing it because of money and not much else.

Initially I felt ashamed but I think it's probably normal to feel that way now. I think I should be lucky I still have a job. Especially considering that millions of people around the world have lost theirs because of the pandemic.

But still, that thought doesn't motivate me. It actually demotivates me. As a newcomer I have no seniority and I am not considered essential at all. I will be lucky to still have a job by the end of this year. 

Either way I look at it, the situation everywhere is bleak. Getting a paycheck is the only thing I look forward to. Other than that, I don't see a point in anything anymore.  

 

 

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Congratulations on the masters degree. You are literally one in a million. Be very proud of yourself that you got that far. Also be proud of yourself for saying that you overcame depression. Good and bad times come to us all, just as you are in lock down so am i, and most of the people on this website. Just keep jogging on. All the best.

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  • 5 months later...

OK. So half a year later (Wow time flies) things are a bit better but work is getting harder in a sense. While there is less actual work load it is becoming more challenging. While a masters degree has helped my career I do feel that expectations are now too high. And learning on the job is getting tougher. Which is good in a way i like a challenge but my energy is low. 

I don't know. I got a bit of a break last week (because I am sometimes asked to work at home on some days) but my energy is quite low. I just don't feel much motivation these days.

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7 hours ago, Ixeua said:

 

I don't know. I got a bit of a break last week (because I am sometimes asked to work at home on some days) but my energy is quite low. I just don't feel much motivation these days.

I completely lack motivation too. 

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  • 3 months later...

Despite staying at home and taking more than necessary precautions I somehow acquired COVID-19 (Wuhan coronavirus strain) weeks ago. So I have been on sick leave for nearly a month at this point. And yes, that means I am not assigned anything. Which is somewhat of a weird blessing considering how stressful the first few days of March were. It's like getting a reprieve but having the virus sucks. I am confined at home and cannot go out. 

 

And it's strange. Because the past few weeks have been a quiet, pleasant solace. After staying in bed for 2 weeks then getting up on the 3rd week I have lost track of time. I can't believe it's been nearly a month already since I have been confined. Time flies quickly (sometimes) and differently when you are alone in your thoughts. 

 

 

 

  

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/6/2020 at 5:18 PM, JD4010 said:

I completely lack motivation too. 

Same!  For years, I envied people who got to work from home and thought it was a good thing. Well, its been over a year now of working from home and it is most definitely not all it is cracked up to be in my opinion. Sure, it has advantages...I live in a place with bad winters so not having to deal with that is good and some days I stay in bed until the minute I have to punch it.

But it is hard...especially now with my current state of mind...to focus and be productive 8 hours a day. My company is very poor at communications with the staff so that makes it even tougher. The work itself  is starting to be more and more messy and disorganized as well.

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1 hour ago, monicott17 said:

Same!  For years, I envied people who got to work from home and thought it was a good thing. Well, its been over a year now of working from home and it is most definitely not all it is cracked up to be in my opinion. Sure, it has advantages...I live in a place with bad winters so not having to deal with that is good and some days I stay in bed until the minute I have to punch it.

But it is hard...especially now with my current state of mind...to focus and be productive 8 hours a day. My company is very poor at communications with the staff so that makes it even tougher. The work itself  is starting to be more and more messy and disorganized as well.

I have to admit...I have been "enjoying" the empty offices over the past year. Because I don't have wi-fi at home, I actually go into the office every day. I'm one of the very few people who come into the building regularly so it's very quiet. I'm a loner so I appreciate that. People give me anxiety.

I also like Zoom meetings far more than in-person ones. For one thing, I don't have to go anywhere for all of the meetings and for another, it doesn't matter if I'm wearing shorts or whatever...people can only see my face. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Damn. I have been back at work for the past 2 weeks which was good. Although I notice I have been feeling unusually tired and sleepy. I hope it's nothing serious because I have heard a lot of people complaining about cardiovascular issues after catching COVID-19 and getting tired easily.

Unfortunately it has led to 2 booboos at work. The first wasn't serious but slightly embarrassing due to a lapse of concentration (I accidentally pressed on my keyboard at the office and inadvertently sent random keyboard press crap which I was undeletable on an internal messaging system). In the second, I was tired and fell asleep for an hour while I was working from home. Since we are required to be always online my department boss and my immediate supervisor noticed my inactivity and that I was not responding and got suspicious. Considering I work in an industry where things have to be read and processed in mere seconds that was quite bad.

 

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Still in work misery. Had a slight glimmer of hope that things were maybe improving a bit...but I was brought back to reality real quick. Plus I saw a job listing that’s better pay, better location and better work that I cannot get out of my head. I want to apply but have some stumbling blocks to get over.

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4 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Still in work misery. Had a slight glimmer of hope that things were maybe improving a bit...but I was brought back to reality real quick. Plus I saw a job listing that’s better pay, better location and better work that I cannot get out of my head. I want to apply but have some stumbling blocks to get over.

I'm switching up my so-called career right now. I can't take my current job anymore.

Best wishes with whatever you decide...and getting over the stumbling blocks.

Edited by JD4010
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16 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm switching up my so-called career right now. I can't take my current job anymore.

Best wishes with whatever you decide...and getting over the stumbling blocks.

Thanks. Had a particularly bad yesterday and that is making me want to change all the more. A family member is changing jobs...basically on a whim and I am trying to get inspiration from her as well.

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On 5/1/2021 at 8:00 PM, monicott17 said:

Thanks. Had a particularly bad yesterday and that is making me want to change all the more. A family member is changing jobs...basically on a whim and I am trying to get inspiration from her as well.

Best of luck to you. Switching a job during this pandemic is definitely not easy. So much uncertainty and few businesses willing to hire these days.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Quote

So HR placed me in this department 3 months ago. And already I have a rocky relationship with my boss who has been at the job for 10 years. Everyone else has been there for a number of years. So my boss dislikes me, finds it frustrating to mentor me, the new guy, and is pretty open about it. Learning the ropes and being the new guy is never easy. And the approach of my boss is not helpful for my long-term development. I don't hate working for my company. I just dislike working for that one boss. 

 

(PS. Due to the pandemic, I haven't even met my boss in person either.) 

I just want to get it off my chest. I keep ruminating unhealthily about work. Journaling helps. I find it difficult to care about my job these days if it wasn't for the money. 

Thankfully, I feel a bit better today. 

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  • 2 months later...

Ever since I got COVID-19 back in March 2021 I have been feeling tired. Depression makes me tired too. But lingering COVID-19 "long-haul" effects still affect me despite the months that have passed since I got the virus. So I feel the effects from both depression and long-haul COVID-19.

I feel exhausted all the time. I was asleep for most of the weekend. Sleeping at night and the afternoons yet I still feel so tired...It's making me miserable since I can't get much done and I worry about my performance at work.

I literally just wake up, go to work for 10 hours, have dinner and sleep right after dinner. I feel so exhausted that I wake up the next day. I hardly feel refreshed. I am suppose to be studying at home too for certification exams and other exams required by my job but I just feel way too tired. 

There's "regular" tiredness that everyone goes through and there's the unusual level of exhaustion I am experiencing. I have felt exhausted many many times in my life of course.

But there's something unusual about what I am going through right now after getting infected (then recovering) from COVID-19. The exhaustion is unbearable. I am not the only one going thru this phase. A lot of people who were infected with the virus are reporting a similar phenomenon. It's being called "Long-Haul" COVID-19. Strangely it was a mild infection (but still quite painful) from the "vanilla" Wuhan coronavirus strain but the effects have been lingering for several months now. It's almost comparable to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.   

After so many months of this it's been taking a toll already. I literally sleep through most of the weekends and barely feel rested on Mondays. On weekdays I feel tired during work. I literally now just wake up go, to work, and fall asleep after work. There isn't any time for anything in between anymore and it's agonizing. 

Making things worse I still have regulatory and certification exams to take for my job and it's so difficult to study when I feel so exhausted. 

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I have been suffering from Long Haul COVID-19 for several months now. I always feel exhausted and sleep never feels refreshing. No matter how long I sleep I always feel tired. 

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