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It's interesting how sexuality seems to be more accepted now then ever before yet I still feel absolutely disgusted with myself for having feelings for people of the same sex. I rolls my eyes sometimes when I see a celebrity coming out as Bisexual yet I cant even have the self acceptance for myself to be comfortable in who I like. I literally cry just thinking that my mom would find out that I like girls too. I wish I can only like guys or just not like anyone at all. My brother is Gay and my mom sobbed when he came out of the closet and my mom still seems to hold out hope that he would end up with a girl even though hes gay. I really dont get why this has to be such a big deal . Just why .. It ask myself why its such a big deal and tell myself its not but truth is I know that my family is homophibic and that it would hurt my mom if she found out. I cant seem to live my life in a way that I can simply say "screw her an the rest of my family thoughts" because I do care. Idk something happened that triggered this today and I just wanted to vent about it. I know its probably not a big deal compared to others things. and truly I can live my life in the closet for ever anyways. Thanks if you read this and I hope you guys are all doing ok

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57 minutes ago, June322 said:

It's interesting how sexuality seems to be more accepted now then ever before yet I still feel absolutely disgusted with myself for having feelings for people of the same sex. I rolls my eyes sometimes when I see a celebrity coming out as Bisexual yet I cant even have the self acceptance for myself to be comfortable in who I like. I literally cry just thinking that my mom would find out that I like girls too. I wish I can only like guys or just not like anyone at all. My brother is Gay and my mom sobbed when he came out of the closet and my mom still seems to hold out hope that he would end up with a girl even though hes gay. I really dont get why this has to be such a big deal . Just why .. It ask myself why its such a big deal and tell myself its not but truth is I know that my family is homophibic and that it would hurt my mom if she found out. I cant seem to live my life in a way that I can simply say "screw her an the rest of my family thoughts" because I do care. Idk something happened that triggered this today and I just wanted to vent about it. I know its probably not a big deal compared to others things. and truly I can live my life in the closet for ever anyways. Thanks if you read this and I hope you guys are all doing ok

You shouldn’t feel guilty or disgusted with yourself. Be proud of who you are. Look no one has the right to judge you for liking the same sex. I’m not, and I know plenty of people and I’m completely fine with it. I support it. I don’t know why people think it’s wrong. A lot of times it has to do with culture, religion, how you were raised (environment) etc.. Certain people think that it’s not right, but who cares what they think.  I don’t agree with the way your mother acted. I’m sorry but if I had a kid I would want them to be honest with me and I would support them in whatever they wanted in life. I know you care about your mother, but I don’t agree with the fact that you say, you can live in the closet forever. Eventually it will catch up to you and you will be unhappy. I’ve seen that happen plenty of times because people were afraid to admit their true feelings. Life is too short, I hope you find the strength when you are ready to admit to your mother/family what you really feel and want in this lifetime.

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Well I would love for it to be like they show on tv.  They make coming out as yourself seem so amazing.  Nothing really changes and nobody really cares at all is the real story.🥺

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I can appreciate what a deeply personal and difficult disclosure it was to write this @June322. I read that you reject a part of yourself which you find very hard to accept. That's something I (and probably most of us here) identify with. Whether it is sexuality or something else, there are parts we wish were different. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to like it. I think it means learning to work with the parts we got from the factory. 

A strong feeling you specifically mention is disgust. I think it's okay and healthy to acknowledge that feeling rather than rejecting both the emotion and what's causing it. Maybe not rejecting any of the emotions you're feeling might help broker a truce with yourself, I dunno. 

I don't think there is anything disgusting about you. But what I think about you is so much less important than what you think about you.

Wishing you some relief from this anxiety and some healing and to find a balance between who you are and how you feel about that. 

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On 5/10/2020 at 5:58 PM, ladysmurf said:

You shouldn’t feel guilty or disgusted with yourself. Be proud of who you are. Look no one has the right to judge you for liking the same sex. I’m not, and I know plenty of people and I’m completely fine with it. I support it. I don’t know why people think it’s wrong. A lot of times it has to do with culture, religion, how you were raised (environment) etc.. Certain people think that it’s not right, but who cares what they think.  I don’t agree with the way your mother acted. I’m sorry but if I had a kid I would want them to be honest with me and I would support them in whatever they wanted in life. I know you care about your mother, but I don’t agree with the fact that you say, you can live in the closet forever. Eventually it will catch up to you and you will be unhappy. I’ve seen that happen plenty of times because people were afraid to admit their true feelings. Life is too short, I hope you find the strength when you are ready to admit to your mother/family what you really feel and want in this lifetime.

Thank you so much for this message a lot of love and acceptance here 💕😭

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On 5/10/2020 at 7:16 PM, sober4life said:

Well I would love for it to be like they show on tv.  They make coming out as yourself seem so amazing.  Nothing really changes and nobody really cares at all is the real story.🥺

yes ! I think about this a lot . my brother who's gay has always said that as well . crazy how the media seems to make it out like its a progressive thing thats not an issue anymore or not as big of an issue but thats just Not the reality a lot of us live in 😕

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On 5/11/2020 at 5:10 AM, Atra said:

I can appreciate what a deeply personal and difficult disclosure it was to write this @June322. I read that you reject a part of yourself which you find very hard to accept. That's something I (and probably most of us here) identify with. Whether it is sexuality or something else, there are parts we wish were different. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to like it. I think it means learning to work with the parts we got from the factory. 

A strong feeling you specifically mention is disgust. I think it's okay and healthy to acknowledge that feeling rather than rejecting both the emotion and what's causing it. Maybe not rejecting any of the emotions you're feeling might help broker a truce with yourself, I dunno. 

I don't think there is anything disgusting about you. But what I think about you is so much less important than what you think about you.

Wishing you some relief from this anxiety and some healing and to find a balance between who you are and how you feel about that. 

Thank you atra I appreciate it ! 

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I am also bisexual, really. Sometimes when you’re already surrounded by an accepting environment, what you need is just time, really. It sounds strange at first discovering you’re bisexual, I know, but time somehow just makes you get more used to it. If you’re not willing to come out in real life, maybe an LGBT support group online can help. Not much people like us here, so maybe check out some LGBT forums online as well. If you don’t want to talk about it yet, maybe just looking for content about LGBT people can help you make more sense of it. One good resource is to look for TED talk speeches on Youtube around the LGBT, considering Ted Talks is a good resource for speeches around different social and mental health issues in society in general. I also found inspiration discovering more about LGBT history somehow. You rarely hear of people famous in history who aren’t straight, and just as much as there needs to be an emphasis on women’s history and black history, there needs to be an LGBT history focus too. When I hear about other people’s stories, I don’t feel as alone, and I get stronger.

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