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Boot print on my back

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I was bullied most of my life and the worst was when I used to get beaten in the taxi on the way to school every day, one day I came home with a bruise across my back the shape of a boot print where I was kicked in the back and stomped on

I never knew violence until I went to school and was harmed. I used to shake in fear when I was getting close to school and my dad said why didn’t I tell him and he could have done something but the bullies told me if I told anyone they would **** me. One day I had enough of being tortured all day at school and I snapped, got the bully in a head lock and just kept hitting him, but that didn’t solve anything. Eventually I kept getting taken out of school by my father and I was moved from school to school and the bullying continued until one day he took me out and never went back, never was home schooled and it hurt my future career wise and staying in the car for hours on end while dad worked, unable to use the bathroom is what causes my panic attacks and even after school I was still bullied in the street, shot with a air pistol, chased by a bully who was armed with a knife. My life has passed me by and I am to sick to work and I couldn’t even get a Job at a checkout and then I was sexually abused at 14 and that’s my life. I am a survivor but I don’t know how much longer I can survive and these experiences have changed me but, but not for the better

I wish I could go back in time and change things I wish I could have my life back, the icing on the cake is when people blamed it on me and told me that it’s all my fault because I can’t get on with other people and said apparently it’s me that has the problem with society and not the other way around which is classic victim blaming. They stole something from me and I want it back, I want control back.

I debate revenge or selling my soul to get revenge but all I have left is the thought of finding peace when I lay my bones to rest and that is what keeps me from revenge.

I will never forget the time that people cheered this guy Paul to hit me and I tried to shield my head and face but he cracked me right in the gut and winded me and I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t talk and I tried to get help but nobody knew what was wrong and I thought I was going to die but the teachers didn’t give a dam and wouldn’t let me go home. It was times like that, where a little bit more of me died inside.

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