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JewelChanel

Depressed dating someone with Bipolar

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I have a history of depression and dating someone with bipolar makes me even more depressed. He has all these ideas and talks a lot about what he wants to do but usually ends up doing nothing. He is lazy and always tired due to his "medication". We have been together for 5 years. We got engaged and now have 2 small children. He had a manic episode during our relationship, was hospitalized and missed the birth of our first child. Even still I end up giving him another chance. But honestly now I feel like I no longer want to be in a relationship with him. I can't help but want to be with someone "normal". I know that sounds terrible, but I've never been with someone like this, and now that I have grown up after having kids, I just don't care to be around someone who is this unmotivated and lazy, not to mention he constantly makes promises he doesn't keep and puts himself before me and our children. I feel so trapped!!!!

 

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Well I have bipolar disorder.  If you fell in love with the unmedicated version the medicated version is a completely different person.  They are nothing alike.  Bipolar disorder is awful.  One day you feel like superman.  The next day you feel like Kurt Cobain and even you don't know which personality to expect tomorrow.  Medication for this does it work?  Not really.  For the most part doctors say we don't know what to do with you so we will give you these pills that take away all of your feelings good and bad and make you want to sleep all the time.  I understand how you feel.  I couldn't be with me.

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Hi JewelChanel,

I am so terribly sorry that you are suffering and feeling trapped.  It must be so difficult for you.  Wish I knew what to say that would help.

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Posted (edited)
On 4/20/2020 at 7:00 PM, sober4life said:

Bipolar disorder is awful.  One day you feel like superman.  The next day you feel like Kurt Cobain and even you don't know which personality to expect tomorrow.  Medication for this does it work?  Not really.  For the most part doctors say we don't know what to do with you so we will give you these pills that take away all of your feelings good and bad and make you want to sleep all the time.

This is a really good description of what it is like. I've tried to explain it to doctors, and I don't think many get it. They look for longer patterns of depression or mania - but the feeling of one day superman, the next Kurt Cobain without knowing what tomorrow will be is very apt. 

Then the medication makes you flat. 

Thank you.

Edited by Christopher2584
Added one more thought.

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