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My 18yo son refuses help. There has been a suicide note which we have discussed. He has no plan and I believe it's ideation rather than high risk but I'd prefer a professional opinion rather than trust my own limited knowledge and experience. 

His gf (17) is a big trigger for his anxiety attacks and I hear him hyperventilating in his room most nights. She's narcissistic and unreasonably controlling and when he's in a good place, he knows this and can enforce boundaries well. However, he's in a very dark place atm and refuses to let anyone help him while she continues to mentally abuse him. He's also not eating. 

We've discussed how my therapist and medication have been helpful and I've talked through CBT and DBT leaflets with him. He knows he needs help but does not want to go to the dr, take meds or see a therapist.

I don't want to be a controlling parent but where is the line of interference when you feel your "adult" child is at risk of another mental health breakdown? 

I don't know how to help my boy and listening to his anguish night after night is starting to affect my own mental health. His siblings want their beloved brother back but none of us or our other family members (my Mum, Sister and Cousin) can get through to him.

Our mental health services have informed me that they cannot interfere unless he is a danger to others or makes an attempt on his life. They also said we would have to call the police to transport him there if this happens. I feel this would be the worst possible way to handle this so an "intervention" feels necessary but I have no idea how to make it as stress free as possible for him, or even if it's the right thing to do. 

Any advice or experiences with similar situations please?

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