How to face depression

[Na15]

Hi there, 

I wanted to share a couple of my thoughts on depression. 

I have been struggling with it for 3 years now, and still struggle with this dreadful condition till today. 

Since it started YouTube was my go to place for solutions. Surprisingly, it did not help me with all of the information out there claiming nutrition, exercise and a change of mindset is all you need. 

Wish it was that simple right! 

Since I was already in the gym and my nutrition was pretty good, I started trying to change my mindset with no real luck, the negative thoughts kept bashing in my head and I just wanted to sleep all day to get rid of it. 

You will never succeed, you are useless to your family and community, you will always be poor and in debt, all the people you know are rich and have surpassed you. It's really better for everyone if you just die. 

Add to that the ridiculous anxiety and panic attacks for a lovely psychological tornado. 

I could not handle all of that in addition to work pressure. I decided to go to psychiatrist, the visit took 5 minutes and he prescribed me an anti depression. That drug played with my mind for a couple of weeks before it kicked in. It made me on snooze mood with no care in the world. I added online therapy with it to get a better result. I felt at ease in the first couple of months but started noting the symptoms crawling back! 

I noticed that the drugs killed my anxiety and panic attacks but it worked as a pain killer for the depression. Therapy was not of much benefit to me as all of them were focusing on challenging my negative thoughts all the time with no real solution. I guess I got more depressed because of their stories. 

I have stopped the anti depressions for almost three months now and feel the depression coming back with a splash, they really just numb you up and don't really treat it. 

I still go to therapy and write out my feelings which helps me out a lot. The most thing that crushed me in the last couple of years is facing this dilemma alone and the hit I took in my finances and social life. 

Had 3 divorces, lost all my money in a scam, noted that I was all alone in this world with no friends or passions to keep me distracted. It was really hard for me and still is. I feel stupid, useless and a loss of space. 

However, I really know deep down that this will not last forever and there is always hope. 

To get back to topic, here is the things I wish that I have done in the past to face it:

1- don't face it alone find a social group should be supporting you. 

2- don't make any life decisions in this state, 9 out of 10 they will be wrong. 

3- don't isolate yourself from the world and run for pleasure through porn, movies and Netflix. 

4- share your agony with your family and they will not judge you. 

Sometimes I think this is a punishment from God for my bad sins, but I know that it's an illness and anyone can get it, so I will always have faith that one day I will be free. 

 

[iWantRope]

"and there is always hope" HAHAHAHAHA 

It's not nice to lie to fellow sufferers, ya know lol

And do you know why the depressed are facing it alone? Because humanity is a selfish species. We gotta help ourselves because no one else will

But you're right that this is a punishment, except the sin is 'daring to exist'

[Depressedgurl007]

6 hours ago, Na15 said:

However, I really know deep down that this will not last forever and there is always hope. 

I’m not one to give advice and what I’ll say is just from personal experience. But this depression hasn’t really gone away for me. It goes and it comes back. And when it comes back it hits me real hard. It’s just having to learn to live with it. I guess I treat it like a “personality” that I have. And I need to find people like me to understand me and be myself with.

And those dark days can go on for weeks and it’s a struggle to get out of bed and to keep living and sometimes I just give up altogether till I get the energy to live again. It’s constant work to fight it off but I’m glad I found this site to help me.

The punishment from God thing keeps going around in my head too. But in the end I still go back to God and try to accept this life I’m living. Cos I can’t trust humans I’m too afraid of them.

I think maybe this life is about acceptance..to accept what we are, do our best to find the solutions, accept that things can go very very wrong and it’s useless to blame people and compare ourselves with others, accept that it’s ok to give up once in a while to rest, accept that there are many types of people in this world and we are not alone. Accepting is not easy. I don’t even know what it means sometimes actually.

But it’s important to get out there and keep finding different people and different perspectives cos sometimes when we are alone our thoughts just keep snowballing and becomes worse, but it’s possible to find a technique to stop the snowball and replace with other thoughts, and different people have different ways to do this. But I know the fear of going out there to find people can also be an issue for me so I gotto take it one day at a time.

Anyway sorry I’m rambling..just typing out my thoughts. Let’s keep fighting our illness together 🙂 

Edited March 5, 2020 by Depressedgurl007

[TheGiftedOne]

Hi... I read this and felt compelled to respond. So here I go.

I can't say that I know how to face depression for sure, I can only say what I have done. I always just took whatever hurt that came my way and let the blows do their damage and then faced the aftermath with what strength I had left. Not the best way to face depression, I know, but what else could I do? With no close family or friends I couldn't talk to anyone about my feelings even if I wanted to. So, I had no choice, it was either that or give in to despair and the part of me that won't give up keeps on fighting. I realize that not everyone can just tolerate the pain, but sometimes life just doesn't give you an easier way. For me, that was pretty much always the case. So, call me strong or call me foolish, either could be considered true, I guess.

Whatever people take away from this, I'm just sharing my experiences and my feelings.

To whomever reads this, from the bottom of my broken heart, thank you for listening.  

[Na15]

1 hour ago, TheGiftedOne said:

With no close family or friends I couldn't talk to anyone about my feelings even if I wanted to

Thank you for your contribution. 

Just wanted to let you know that I am here if you want someone to talk to. 

No one can really understand the situations we face and often see us as dramatic people. 

I wish you all health, wealth and eternal happiness. 

[TheGiftedOne]

21 hours ago, Na15 said:

Just wanted to let you know that I am here if you want someone to talk to.

Thank you for offering to listen, I really appreciate it. It's so difficult feeling like nobody really cares, you know?

Take care. 

[Atra]

I'm not sure when exactly I got hooked on the presumption that most people aren't acquainted with a great struggle equivalent in its severity to mental illness. It might've been the years I endured anhedonia, wishing to be the hollow corpse I felt like. I chose to believe that nobody knows pain and hopelessness on the same level I did. This made me feel unique and it made me feel alone. 

I would have to be omni-empathic to know how my experience of major depressive disorder ranked among the numerous maladies of life, when I really only knew it was intolerable to me. 

Ignoring all the physical diseases or impairments I might have - but didn't; the civil strife of living in a land in an era of war - that I wasn't; desperation of experiencing acute poverty and hunger - which I haven't. I admit, I had a huge blindspot to the reality that great struggle is not something peculiar to an unfortunate few. It is understood by many if not all. 

Presently, I choose to view great struggle as something experienced by all people, integral to existence, essential to growth and the bringer of change. I wish I could rid myself of the "in relation to what?" misery weighing I still catch myself doing, mostly when I muse about what might have been, had I not been afflicted by depression. 

Depression is my great struggle. There's heaps of pain and horror in my story and also beautiful, inspiring moments. The heartwarming camaraderie I might never know but for others bravely sharing in my struggle. Must not forget the folly and failure, setbacks and head-fakes at progress. 

Would I be glad to give up all that I am learning because I choose to persist, working with the parts I got from the factory? What about when I am pounding both fists against unyielding wall, screaming, crying my eyes out in agony and despair? [Yeah! That's how I do "strong"]. To find I was always strong, depression just made me prove it.

Could it be that I'm actually better because?

[jkd_sd]

This thread has a lot of good food for thought.  Thanks to everyone for their input.

For a looong time, I thought I just felt everything stronger and more deeply than most people.  On a scale of 1 to 10, something another person felt as a 2 or 3, I figured I felt as about a 7.  Of course, I based this opinion on what feelings other people let show.  Thought I needed to 'toughen up' and stop being such a wimp.  Finally realized I tried to keep a lot of my feelings from showing, so others were probably doing the same thing.  I still make this mistake on a regular basis and have to keep reminding myself.  <*sigh*>   Live and learn.   🤷‍♀️

[twotone]

Yes,  this thread has got me thinking,  thanks @Na15 your points are very valid.  In terms of facing depression I used to look at it like bunker mentality,  try to make things easier for me when depressed.  I've picked up a few things that a least help a bit over the years: meditation,  breathing,  showers everyday,  building things up very slowly  (must be a name for that!), 

I connect with so many comments in this thread,  the pain and devestation that depression has wreaked over my life is real,  and yet I still have lots to live for.  Life is an emotional struggle for me,  just sometimes it goes into the red,  and boy,  when it does!

[Floor2017]

I total understand you and yes you have to persevere through it because all days

are not sunny.  On days that you don't feel your best just try to do the best you

can and don't worry about what others are saying around you.

[Deep_joy]

We, humans, are too creature of nature. But we took opposite path to find fulfillment/meaning of life. Like everything in this universe, depression too serves as to balance our lives. But we fight against it. It can't be fought by medicines/doctors. But through self-awareness that we need to be more closer to nature/natural things. And then, like every cycle of day/night, summer/winter, depression will be transitioned to much happier life.

[HallJxoxo]

 If anyone tells you that mental illness just goes away, they are lying. I personally have been struggling with mental illness for over 6 years now.

Try not to think about it as you “not getting better” even though you feel you have tried everything. Mental illness is a constant battle that you are in with yourself and that’s why it feels like you can’t escape it.

I learned after many years of hating myself, self harm & isolation that you have to take it day by day. There will be bad days and good days. You can’t be to hard on yourself when you have those bad days.

Steps to take-

GIVE YOURSELF ONE REASON TO KEEP GOING!

• If you have more reasons, that’s great. but just think of one reason why you have to keep fighting for yourself even if you feel like you never win.

• Realize that this is part of who you are, instead of hating it… embrace it. Learn all that you can about it, do the research.

• Keep up with your feelings everyday in a journal, even on the good days.

• if you feel it’s at this point, Seek professional help. There is no shame in therapy or even medication.

• Remind yourself that it’s only a bad day- NOT a bad life.

 

Edited April 26, 2020 by 20YearsandCounting
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[Prycejosh1987]

I achieved some success in your life and come along way from some issues like the divorces and the scam. But some parts of the mentality is wrong. You should always be confident in your choices but prerequisite of choice is thinking about them and evaluate what happens when you make them. Also saying its a punishment from god, it is not. You made the wrong decision or it could be someone else that led you to that circumstance.