Na15 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Hi there, I wanted to share a couple of my thoughts on depression. I have been struggling with it for 3 years now, and still struggle with this dreadful condition till today. Since it started YouTube was my go to place for solutions. Surprisingly, it did not help me with all of the information out there claiming nutrition, exercise and a change of mindset is all you need. Wish it was that simple right! Since I was already in the gym and my nutrition was pretty good, I started trying to change my mindset with no real luck, the negative thoughts kept bashing in my head and I just wanted to sleep all day to get rid of it. You will never succeed, you are useless to your family and community, you will always be poor and in debt, all the people you know are rich and have surpassed you. It's really better for everyone if you just die. Add to that the ridiculous anxiety and panic attacks for a lovely psychological tornado. I could not handle all of that in addition to work pressure. I decided to go to psychiatrist, the visit took 5 minutes and he prescribed me an anti depression. That drug played with my mind for a couple of weeks before it kicked in. It made me on snooze mood with no care in the world. I added online therapy with it to get a better result. I felt at ease in the first couple of months but started noting the symptoms crawling back! I noticed that the drugs killed my anxiety and panic attacks but it worked as a pain killer for the depression. Therapy was not of much benefit to me as all of them were focusing on challenging my negative thoughts all the time with no real solution. I guess I got more depressed because of their stories. I have stopped the anti depressions for almost three months now and feel the depression coming back with a splash, they really just numb you up and don't really treat it. I still go to therapy and write out my feelings which helps me out a lot. The most thing that crushed me in the last couple of years is facing this dilemma alone and the hit I took in my finances and social life. Had 3 divorces, lost all my money in a scam, noted that I was all alone in this world with no friends or passions to keep me distracted. It was really hard for me and still is. I feel stupid, useless and a loss of space. However, I really know deep down that this will not last forever and there is always hope. To get back to topic, here is the things I wish that I have done in the past to face it: 1- don't face it alone find a social group should be supporting you. 2- don't make any life decisions in this state, 9 out of 10 they will be wrong. 3- don't isolate yourself from the world and run for pleasure through porn, movies and Netflix. 4- share your agony with your family and they will not judge you. Sometimes I think this is a punishment from God for my bad sins, but I know that it's an illness and anyone can get it, so I will always have faith that one day I will be free. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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