How do You Feel Right Now? #12

[sober4life]

1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Congratulations

Awesome work Sober

 

Thanks I had a pretty good day today.  I went to look for a toilet seat so I'm really living it up.  Who knew they come in different sizes.  Nothing can be easy.  Oh and my anxiety comes out in tics sometimes so the cashier asked me something and I barked at him and he said what so I pulled down my mask and grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him in close and this time barked loudly on purpose so a pretty normal day really.

[ladysmurf]

16 hours ago, sober4life said:

I fit in inside this house I guess or out with the animals.  I enjoy seeing the animals the whole year watching them grow up.  I get to see cows go from babies that first walk to adults.  That makes me happy.

that sounds like fun !! i enjoy animals too, they are so nice and i feel so at ease when i am around them. way better than humans!!

[ladysmurf]

10 hours ago, iWantRope said:

Also: unlike people "in real life", online friends are far less likely to backstab you for their own selfish benefit. 

we are all here for each other !!

i agree with that...you guys are amazing, i've said many times, i'd be lost without you guys. in reali life the people i thought were my "friends" turned out to be people who never cared, made fun of my illness, etc.. sad, but that was my reality. ..

[sober4life]

1 hour ago, ladysmurf said:

that sounds like fun !! i enjoy animals too, they are so nice and i feel so at ease when i am around them. way better than humans!!

Mom and I used to laugh when the cat would sit like a person.  I saw the cow in the field earlier today sitting like a person.

[Smcine]

I don’t really post much but I do read the  other posts.  I feel ok but it was a summer I would like to forget. First, my brother-in-law died in June of Lupus.  Then my dad had a stroke on July 4th.  He came home and my siblings, their spouses and I along with hospice took care of him until he died on August 25th.  Wait, it gets better.  My mom had a severe stroke and is currently in a hospice.  It doesn’t look good for her.  Scott was 53, my dad was 86 and mom is 88.
 

thank God for my husband.  The meds and a good doctor helps too.

[iWantRope]

12 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

we are all here for each other !!

i agree with that...you guys are amazing, i've said many times, i'd be lost without you guys. 

And the universe has been punishing us for this for at least past 2 years, and still doing so.

[duck]

On 9/6/2020 at 8:56 PM, sober4life said:

I fit in inside this house I guess or out with the animals.  I enjoy seeing the animals the whole year watching them grow up.  I get to see cows go from babies that first walk to adults.  That makes me happy.

I have been telling people I will get two female grizzly bears for pets.  I will dress them like humans and I will walk down street holding their paws one bear on each side of me.    

[duck]

9 hours ago, Smcine said:

I don’t really post much but I do read the  other posts.  I feel ok but it was a summer I would like to forget. First, my brother-in-law died in June of Lupus.  Then my dad had a stroke on July 4th.  He came home and my siblings, their spouses and I along with hospice took care of him until he died on August 25th.  Wait, it gets better.  My mom had a severe stroke and is currently in a hospice.  It doesn’t look good for her.  Scott was 53, my dad was 86 and mom is 88.
 

thank God for my husband.  The meds and a good doctor helps too.

So sorry to hear. You had an awful summer.  

[anon22ae]

I feel like I'm in the smoking section, quite literally. Wildfire smoke has moved into the urban regions around here, apparently resulting in a deluge of 911 calls from people thinking the world is burning. This can't be healthy -- literally feels like I'm inhaling tobacco with every breath.

[sober4life]

I know how grandpa felt.  Right before he lost his mind completely there was a time where he seemed to be doing really well.  Now that I am where he was I know that time means you know how bad things are and you're using all of your energy to put a show on for people because you know the world you live in.  We live in the jungle and what I'm going through is like being an animal that has an injury in the jungle.  If the other animals find out about it they will swarm on me like killer bees.  So yes I'm fine do you see this bitter angry smile?

[Kogent5]

I signed up for an online class and am already in shambles. The first assignment is to introduce yourself on the discussion boards and everyone on there sounds so much more accomplished than me. I was just going to write a short thing but people are writing paragraphs...currently trying to think of what to write without sounding pathetic

But it's nice to be a little excited for something and just focus on myself for once.

Edited September 8, 2020 by Kogent5

[sober4life]

I went for a walk this evening and I felt like I wasn't going to make it.  I felt like I could fall over most of the way back.  I've been pulling this semi with a rope down the road to nowhere for too long I think.  It would be nice if this was all for a real purpose at some point.

[Handon Frypan]

I had a miscommunication with my father but then a really good heart to heart with him, and all seems well. Also watched BookSmart and Irrational Man, but now I'm mentally looking for a needle in a haystack concerning another movie about a professor, but he lived in the midwest, IIRC.. Downstate Illinois, maybe?

[duck]

11 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I signed up for an online class and am already in shambles. The first assignment is to introduce yourself on the discussion boards and everyone on there sounds so much more accomplished than me. I was just going to write a short thing but people are writing paragraphs...currently trying to think of what to write without sounding pathetic

But it's nice to be a little excited for something and just focus on myself for once.

HIGH FIVE!!!!  

Go for it.  Feel the fear and do it anyway----Dr. Susan Jeffers 

[duck]

8 hours ago, sober4life said:

I went for a walk this evening and I felt like I wasn't going to make it.  I felt like I could fall over most of the way back.  I've been pulling this semi with a rope down the road to nowhere for too long I think.  It would be nice if this was all for a real purpose at some point.

[duck]

4 hours ago, Handon Frypan said:

I had a miscommunication with my father but then a really good heart to heart with him, and all seems well. Also watched BookSmart and Irrational Man, but now I'm mentally looking for a needle in a haystack concerning another movie about a professor, but he lived in the midwest, IIRC.. Downstate Illinois, maybe?

Happy to hear you had a good chat with your dad.  

[Ratvan]

14 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I signed up for an online class and am already in shambles. The first assignment is to introduce yourself on the discussion boards and everyone on there sounds so much more accomplished than me. I was just going to write a short thing but people are writing paragraphs...currently trying to think of what to write without sounding pathetic

But it's nice to be a little excited for something and just focus on myself for once.

What did you end up writing about?

[Kogent5]

3 hours ago, duck said:

HIGH FIVE!!!!  

Go for it.  Feel the fear and do it anyway----Dr. Susan Jeffers 

True, it's just hard. This is bringing back all kinds of memories of trying to socialize in university...which is why I'm writing this at 5 in the morning instead of sleeping!

31 minutes ago, Ratvan said:

What did you end up writing about?

Haven't yet. Will probably talk about volunteering and hobbies that I do like once a year. Trying to convince myself no one really cares or is as neurotic as I am

[APFSDS]

Tired. I feel I should clean my room. I've got spider webs in all four corners and there's some spider lunch hanging from all of them.
Dust everywhere I could make a dust mandala.

[ladysmurf]

On 9/8/2020 at 4:19 AM, iWantRope said:

And the universe has been punishing us for this for at least past 2 years, and still doing so.

i'm not sure what you mean ...but im sorry if my posts or opinions bother you rope..i wish i could get rid of peoples pain, i really do..people don't realize how difficult it is to live with health issues and take the small important things in life for granted..i couldn't sleep last night so i cried wishing i could feel somewhat normal again without all my health problems, but i dont think i ever will..

[ladysmurf]

17 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I signed up for an online class and am already in shambles. The first assignment is to introduce yourself on the discussion boards and everyone on there sounds so much more accomplished than me. I was just going to write a short thing but people are writing paragraphs...currently trying to think of what to write without sounding pathetic

But it's nice to be a little excited for something and just focus on myself for once.

cool, what class did you take?

[aterrou]

2 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

Haven't yet. Will probably talk about volunteering and hobbies that I do like once a year. Trying to convince myself no one really cares or is as neurotic as I am

Some people will always sound amazingly accomplished compared to you - I know I feel that on a daily basis. Some of them even might be. But no-one is you, and no-one will be able to bring exactly the same perspective as you can to this course.

Another way to think about it: if people are already so accomplished in the topic you're studying, then why are they doing it too? Ego boost if they find it easy? (which might not be a bad thing of course, but I don't like the showing off if that's what is happening...). If you are new to the subject, then I admire you for extending your horizons and pushing yourself past what is familiar.

All the best with your studies!

Edited September 9, 2020 by aterrou

[sober4life]

1 hour ago, APFSDS said:

Tired. I feel I should clean my room. I've got spider webs in all four corners and there's some spider lunch hanging from all of them.
Dust everywhere I could make a dust mandala.

I look forward to seeing the spiders.  I was happy yesterday when the stink bug showed up for the first time.

Edited September 9, 2020 by sober4life

[Kogent5]

5 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

cool, what class did you take?

It's an intro class to technical writing

5 hours ago, aterrou said:

Some people will always sound amazingly accomplished compared to you - I know I feel that on a daily basis. Some of them even might be. But no-one is you, and no-one will be able to bring exactly the same perspective as you can to this course.

Another way to think about it: if people are already so accomplished in the topic you're studying, then why are they doing it too? Ego boost if they find it easy? (which might not be a bad thing of course, but I don't like the showing off if that's what is happening...). If you are new to the subject, then I admire you for extending your horizons and pushing yourself past what is familiar.

All the best with your studies!

Thank you! A lot of technical writers end up there because of the industry they're in and they naturally end up doing it, whereas I'm trying to enter it without much background. Everyone seems nice enough, but my thoughts certainly get twisted in deep depression.

[aterrou]

28 minutes ago, Kogent5 said:

Thank you! A lot of technical writers end up there because of the industry they're in and they naturally end up doing it, whereas I'm trying to enter it without much background. Everyone seems nice enough, but my thoughts certainly get twisted in deep depression.

You don't have the background perhaps, but then you don't have the same preconceptions that they have, you are not subject to the same implicit structures and constraints that you gain when working in a familiar area. That might you a bit of an outsider perhaps, but it also gives you the opportunity to be different, to show the others a different way of doing things. Maybe even a better way

Don't think I have any confidence like this in myself - I don't. Sometimes it just takes someone else to point out that things are likely better than your depression-fuelled catastrophisation (?) makes it seem. I know I need that, pretty regularly.

Your chosen study sounds really interesting, so well done on starting! And I hope you can put yourself forward to get to know your colleagues a bit better - it might make the whole experience more fulfilling!

All the best