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Lindsay

How do You Feel Right Now? #12

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Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Ratvan said:

Very wet walk into work this morning but I did really enjoy the peace and quiet and the time to spend to myself 

That's good you enjoyed the peace. 🙂

Edited by duck

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12 hours ago, Devlinkyla said:

Well this is a good new bad news

good news I hade a drink and feel good

bad news I have no clue when I actually get to see my kids

Sorry to hear.  I hope you get to see your kids soon.

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1 hour ago, duck said:

That's good you enjoyed the peace. 🙂

It's managed to last all day (bar one hour where I had a screaming match with sales director) which has been really good and a nice change of pace

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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, roadking02 said:

So I really need to stop living in my head so much. And ask her out already... Jesus.

Yes I agree!❤️

Edited by sober4life

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I'm as run down as I've ever been I think and for what really?  Something they sure won't tell you in life when you get about half way through your life expect nobody to ever come around again.  Sure you'll reach out and try everything you can think of but you'll spend the rest of your life alone no matter what you do.

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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yes I agree!❤️

As do I. Sure, the one or two times I took such advice didn't work out (as in it apparently wasn't meant to be). Nonetheless, I still believe in it wholeheartedly just from seeing others succeed, even if I never will.

I hope that sounds more encouraging than not! 😀

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Feeling brighter this am. I'm turning into a morning person. Who da thunk it? Not me, that's for sure. Symptoms come more at night these days and mornings find me feeling better 🤷‍♀️

I had a little chat with myself last night and told myself not to feel guilty about my choices. I'm doing the best I can. I dunno if that helped but it might have. I'm no contact with narc mom at the moment. Hence, the guilt. 

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I'm hoping this is almost over.  Of course if I say that out loud every day god will make sure I'm someone that ends up on the news one day bitter and angry at 120 years old setting some record.  Aren't you happy you're still here what's your secret.  I hate this place so god made sure I had to be here forever will be my answer.

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On 8/24/2020 at 1:13 PM, duck said:

I guess it is your day off.  🙂

Yes, it was my day off but I’m back grinding today and tomorrow.  I believe I will try to do something entertaining with my wife on the weekend.  I told her let take a road trip 

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5 minutes ago, user1492 said:

Coming apart at the seams.

Dont know why, cant recall a trigger...

Having a huge problem keeping it together:(

I hate to hear that if you need someone to talk to don’t hesitate to pm me. I pray that you be given a peace of mind and a comforting spirit. Be blessed and hang in there 

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Pretty good this evening. I've had a productive and energetic day. It felt good to have lots of energy and to get a lot done with no stressful thoughts bothering me. I didn't have to fight through it. 

I couldn't tell you why today was a good day but maybe it's just a good hormone day or something 🧏‍♀️

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18 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm as run down as I've ever been I think and for what really?  Something they sure won't tell you in life when you get about half way through your life expect nobody to ever come around again.  Sure you'll reach out and try everything you can think of but you'll spend the rest of your life alone no matter what you do.

Maybe we are fortunate to be alone.  What's that saying? The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence!

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12 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

it been a long day and I just want to be able to make it these next four hours and I can call it a day.

Four more hours! Yikes!  :hugs:

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32 minutes ago, duck said:

Maybe we are fortunate to be alone.  What's that saying? The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence!

I don't feel fortunate.  I feel like a real life monster because of it.  It's been a lifetime of my mind saying the worst things you could ever imagine about me and a lifetime of the world feeling the same way.

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38 minutes ago, duck said:

Maybe we are fortunate to be alone.  What's that saying? The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence!

The grass is greener where you water it.

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Posted (edited)

I don't think I want to have another person's life.  I just want to have a good life.  I've never had a good life so far.  The whole thing has been a test that constantly pushes me to leave the world.  There's never anything to look forward to other than the end of whatever I'm doing at the time.

Edited by sober4life

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On 8/25/2020 at 1:24 PM, roadking02 said:

Been awhile but I've been stupidly busy with a lot of different things, work or medical. I had a scope of my esophagus done 2 weeks ago and as of yesterday I am on total complete vocal rest for at minimum a week but probably 2 weeks. I rushed eating after the scope so I probably irritated things. Work wise I've worked a ton of overtime over the last couple of weeks. Last weekend though was kind of nuts because my neurologist changed my meds around temporarily to see if I would feel any changes until today so I had to take Friday off. My friend Ryan took my spot and he worked with Christine.

Ryan proved to me just how much I overthink things, especially when it comes to social situations and people. Since I have a crush on Christine (and have for years) I really tend to overthink anything when she's ever around me. Everyone at work knows just cause they see it. With me overthinking it always leads to me going "she hates me" or really anyone. So with me gone Christine brought me up in conversation and turns out she doesn't hate me. Saturday when I went in she came up and asked me what was going on. So I really need to stop living in my head so much. And ask her out already... Jesus.

Just do it man.

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So have arranged to see Gemma again tomorrow. Its been a long time since I have felt this excited and nervous about anything.

I do need to have some difficult conversations with her if we continue dating, but i will cross that bridge if and when i come to it 

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