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Lindsay

How do You Feel Right Now? #12

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Hey folks! Just dropping by with some love for you all! I'm going through "something" at the moment, but I'm safe. But I've more reason to consider bipolar2 again...and yet, I don't think my highs are high enough to be seriously dangerous...or is the mixed that we worry about, because those are mentally rough for me...but still seem to be handling things ok. I just have to step away from certain environments at the time, and sadly, I have to slow down or cancel certain responsibilities...but that's no different than a physical sick day off, right?? 

Ugh! I'm just kinda feeling stupid and circling thoughts around, because apparently my vivid dreaming means I'm not sleeping well, and well, I was happy and enjoying my dreams before that reality hit me. 😕

I really wish i could be more active in the community, but I just have extended myself too much over the past few years and can't always be everywhere at once (though I sometimes stupidly try! :P) 

ok, this is plenty long. Did not mean to write so much! Lol ❤️

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What is up people? Just reporting.

Things having changed too much, still have daily anxiety, depression goes on and off, but today I want to talk about something that made my life a bit better. I'm about to be 1 year as vegetarian on next month. Previous to this, I was taking several pills for different health issues. I don't take them anymore, just one pill for my hypothyroidism, that's inevitable. So there it is, one positive thing. I don't want to fake myself, depression makes you feel like everything is bad, inside of you, and in the world, and this little things seems not matter at all, but is something. I made this decision and it is working by now in its own levels.

I truly hope you are doing okay, big hugs.

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49 minutes ago, nothing_man said:

What is up people? Just reporting.

Things having changed too much, still have daily anxiety, depression goes on and off, but today I want to talk about something that made my life a bit better. I'm about to be 1 year as vegetarian on next month. Previous to this, I was taking several pills for different health issues. I don't take them anymore, just one pill for my hypothyroidism, that's inevitable. So there it is, one positive thing. I don't want to fake myself, depression makes you feel like everything is bad, inside of you, and in the world, and this little things seems not matter at all, but is something. I made this decision and it is working by now in its own levels.

I truly hope you are doing okay, big hugs.

I've been working towards becoming all vegetarian. Meat is bad news...especially the crap that comes from the big confinements. It's full of hormones and antibiotics. It's a cruel and energy-intensive industry. I should know because I used to raise both beef cattle and hogs. Glad I got out of that horrible field.

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32 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I've been working towards becoming all vegetarian. Meat is bad news...especially the crap that comes from the big confinements. It's full of hormones and antibiotics. It's a cruel and energy-intensive industry. I should know because I used to raise both beef cattle and hogs. Glad I got out of that horrible field.

Yeah I can't remember the last time I ate beef or pork at this point.  I'm never doing it again.  I see the life of the cows every time I walk.  They are very lovable friendly animals that are being treated terribly!  It makes me mad!

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Yay! Go vegetarians!! 

I'm vegetarian for the most part. I do eat some fish and occasionally have some meat. OK, so I can't call myself a veggie but I am 99.9% vegetarian. 

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Down again.  I am back to feeling like I am wading through quicksand.  I have several things to get done; it is going to be very hot and sticky today; and I feel like I cannot cope.  😢  Somehow I just have to.

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13 hours ago, nothing_man said:

What is up people? Just reporting.

I truly hope you are doing okay, big hugs.

I'm still the designated punching bag of all the deities of the Universe

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44 minutes ago, jkd_sd said:

Down again.  I am back to feeling like I am wading through quicksand.  I have several things to get done; it is going to be very hot and sticky today; and I feel like I cannot cope.  😢  Somehow I just have to.

I feel the same way today.  It's one of those days where I feel like I got hit by a truck.  No matter how much caffeine I drink I can't get myself going.  I have no choice though.  The world expects me to do it anyway.:sniffle1:

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On 8/23/2020 at 7:13 AM, Nightjar said:

Me too :hugs:

No getting around it, it's hard and it sucks. I do remain hopeful that it's just a phase and I focus on the positive as much as I can. It really helps and keeps me afloat.

I still have things to enjoy, interests to follow and activities that make me feel good. I have my little furry companion who makes me smile every day and I have you guys ❤️ who also make me smile every day. 

All we can do is keep going, step by step, to move towards the life we want. It may take us a while but we'll get there in the end if we persevere :hugs:

Chin up my friend. I'm right there with you on this sinking boat. We've kept it afloat though haven't we? We're still going, still fighting. That counts for a lot. We are brave and strong to stand alone 💪

Unfortunately, I have nothing to enjoy or look forward to.  This has been a life of both verbal and physical abuse.  

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1 hour ago, Floor2017 said:

I feel that I am ok but I need to do something positive today with my time 

I guess it is your day off.  🙂

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The new place that I had to take my car to get serviced today had a sign in the front with a cow with a pig standing on it's back and there was a bird standing on the pig.  I started laughing hysterically to the point where I leaned forward and that made my frog key chain make a ribbit sound and that made me laugh hysterically more.

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@sober4life, thanks for the chuckle.  I really need it.  Since I posted that I feel 'down again', more has gone wrong.  Murphy's Law rages on!  

There is another quote that I cannot remember verbatim.  It is something like, 'Things are never so bad that they cannot get worse.'

Because of the nature of what is going on, I cannot explain the details.  The next 2-3 days are going to be hectic and stressful.  Hopefully, by the end of this week, things will start to be resolved.   <*sigh*>

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2 hours ago, duck said:

Unfortunately, I have nothing to enjoy or look forward to.  This has been a life of both verbal and physical abuse.  

Sorry to hear that Duck :hugs:Wishing you some peace of mind 

🌷

NJ 

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6 hours ago, sober4life said:

The new place that I had to take my car to get serviced today had a sign in the front with a cow with a pig standing on it's back and there was a bird standing on the pig.  I started laughing hysterically to the point where I leaned forward and that made my frog key chain make a ribbit sound and that made me laugh hysterically more.

Haha, last night I went 1 or 2 hours straight watching Corgi fights in YT, non-stop laughing

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10 minutes ago, nothing_man said:

Haha, last night I went 1 or 2 hours straight watching Corgi fights in YT, non-stop laughing

Wow that brings back memories of my old dog that quacked like a duck.  He looked like those dogs and acted the same way.  They must all act that way?

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48 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Wow that brings back memories of my old dog that quacked like a duck.  He looked like those dogs and acted the same way.  They must all act that way?

Lol, yeah, it's not that they actually fight, but they play and it looks like a fight, it's fun to see haha, cause they never touch each other, is just some barks and teeth show

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lost and empty minded but maybe sometimes that is a good thing rather having nothing in my head and be lost rather than fighting a feeling that I don't know I could handle or not/

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Sorry to hear that Duck :hugs:Wishing you some peace of mind 

🌷

NJ 

Thank you Nightjar.  ::flowers:

Edited by duck

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12 hours ago, sober4life said:

The new place that I had to take my car to get serviced today had a sign in the front with a cow with a pig standing on it's back and there was a bird standing on the pig.  I started laughing hysterically to the point where I leaned forward and that made my frog key chain make a ribbit sound and that made me laugh hysterically more.

😃

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16 hours ago, jkd_sd said:

There is another quote that I cannot remember verbatim.  It is something like, 'Things are never so bad that they cannot get worse.'

I think I've seen something like this on one of those "demotivational" posters: "This is as good as it gets, but no matter how bad it is, it can always get worse."

Well, not exactly the optimistic intent originally suggested, but perhaps more realistic? At least it feels that way to me, unfortunately.

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Been awhile but I've been stupidly busy with a lot of different things, work or medical. I had a scope of my esophagus done 2 weeks ago and as of yesterday I am on total complete vocal rest for at minimum a week but probably 2 weeks. I rushed eating after the scope so I probably irritated things. Work wise I've worked a ton of overtime over the last couple of weeks. Last weekend though was kind of nuts because my neurologist changed my meds around temporarily to see if I would feel any changes until today so I had to take Friday off. My friend Ryan took my spot and he worked with Christine.

Ryan proved to me just how much I overthink things, especially when it comes to social situations and people. Since I have a crush on Christine (and have for years) I really tend to overthink anything when she's ever around me. Everyone at work knows just cause they see it. With me overthinking it always leads to me going "she hates me" or really anyone. So with me gone Christine brought me up in conversation and turns out she doesn't hate me. Saturday when I went in she came up and asked me what was going on. So I really need to stop living in my head so much. And ask her out already... Jesus.

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