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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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10 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Haha. Don't know about that rooster thing. Sounds kinda fun though.

Pigs are smart animals. I used to raise the farm kind and was always amazed at how intelligent they are.

The one problem with the situation is this same shelter tried to say before there's no such thing as pot bellied pigs.  All pigs grow to full size they said before.  Now they're trying to give away 3 pot bellied pigs.:unsure:

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You have to have your temperature taken to even get into a hospital around here so I would give a false name I'm sure and take off running if my temperature was too high.  This is the confidence we have though almost none.  You see the doctors on tv making it up as they go.  I think this will happen.  I think we should do this.  They are giving opinions that any of us could give.  Who would be confident they could keep us healthy in a hospital setting right now?

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20 hours ago, sober4life said:

I have no intentions in calling it quits anymore.  I've been doing this on my own for almost 2 and a half years now and I have a plan to get myself through the rest of the lockdown.  Next month this place should be back to normal almost completely if it ever was normal in the first place.  I have to take the rest of this month to work on self acceptance and life acceptance and at the same time work to make myself 100% self sufficient here.  It's amazing and also frightening that I've made it this far in my sobriety without getting to a place where I even like myself.

All i know is that this forum and you guys have been there for me when people were not .. there are days when I log on here and I read posts and it makes my day, and I cry......no one really understands more than you guys on here because you live the same pain and problems .. so i'm grateful for this place...and people like us .. yeah others in the real world might look at us strange and make fun of us....i've gotten past that stage in my life where i care anymore...i spend too much caring what people though and now it's time to get out there and live my life along with my illness, because it will always be there... i wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even those who made fun of me...because it's so painful...Lets just hope we can get back to some normality soon in our life with this virus..

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1 minute ago, watalife said:

Not only does my life suck but my phone and internet also suck. Junk junk junk. I need one of those 5g phones maybe it's faster and will zap me to death 😆💥

I got a flip phone that rings all day with telemarketers because of the woman that had my phone number before me.  She's the only reason I get any calls.

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@sober4life you can change your number. When I lost my long time phone number I had to get a new one and I had over 100 numbers on block. I said this is unbelievable I even reported the callers on the do not call site. I finally got a good number. I better be quite before someone finds out my number and ruins my peaceful quiteness.

Edited by watalife
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i tried to go for a walk today.....it was okay..my anxiety is still high , and i still get nightmares which stinks...

during the walk i saw some girl i used to go to high school with, i felt stupid to be honest..most of the kids in my class are better off than me...i feel so useless

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6 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I got a flip phone that rings all day with telemarketers because of the woman that had my phone number before me.  She's the only reason I get any calls.

That's horrible. That's a deluge of sad horribleness. 😞

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1 minute ago, ladysmurf said:

i tried to go for a walk today.....it was okay..my anxiety is still high , and i still get nightmares which stinks...

during the walk i saw some girl i used to go to high school with, i felt stupid to be honest..most of the kids in my class are better off than me...i feel so useless

The same thing happened to me recently.  There's no such thing as a comfortable moment with past classmates.  I was the one that had a nervous breakdown and was kicked out of school in 11th grade.  Nobody from school wants to talk to me.

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22 hours ago, sober4life said:

The one problem with the situation is this same shelter tried to say before there's no such thing as pot bellied pigs.  All pigs grow to full size they said before.  Now they're trying to give away 3 pot bellied pigs.:unsure:

Yeah...but they are different than your regular farm yard pigs...

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3 hours ago, Devlinkyla said:

Am not sure how am doing am tired though

That is a perfect statement of how I have felt for quite a while.  Not trying to be a smart aleck, I really mean it.  That is the description of the sinkhole I have been trying to claw my way out of.  Just wish I knew what/how to make some real progress.   Sorry for the whining, it was just such a surprise to read that and realize, "Hey, that's me!"

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

Yeah...but they are different than your regular farm yard pigs...

Yes that's a good point.  I just looked and a farm pig can grow to 330 pounds and be 6.6 feet long.  Pot bellied pigs get to 110 pounds it says.

Edited by sober4life
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1 hour ago, jkd_sd said:

That is a perfect statement of how I have felt for quite a while.  Not trying to be a smart aleck, I really mean it.  That is the description of the sinkhole I have been trying to claw my way out of.  Just wish I knew what/how to make some real progress.   Sorry for the whining, it was just such a surprise to read that and realize, "Hey, that's me!"

I always feel the same way too.  At this point it takes about 2 pots of coffee a day to appear normal to the world around me.  It's the only way to get through this.  Oh I love your avatar too!  I have lots of nice flowers growing here that I remember when they're in sight and when people mention them.  Otherwise anything could be out there.

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1 hour ago, jkd_sd said:

That is a perfect statement of how I have felt for quite a while.  Not trying to be a smart aleck, I really mean it.  That is the description of the sinkhole I have been trying to claw my way out of.  Just wish I knew what/how to make some real progress.   Sorry for the whining, it was just such a surprise to read that and realize, "Hey, that's me!"

Am sorry it’s not a good feeling to have at times 

you don’t need to say sorry I totally get it

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Thanks for the encouraging comments.  It is comforting to know that someone understands.

@sober4life, I figured I finally better get some kind of avatar.  I wanted to use a shasta daisy in honor of my Grandma, but all the files I found were too large.  When I saw that pic of a bachelor button, it reminded me of the ones Mom used to grow in her flower garden, so I used that instead.  🙂  Guess in my case it is a 'bachelorette' button.   😆

Edited by jkd_sd
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51 minutes ago, SolaMara said:

Almost 1am. Laying in bed listening to my husband snore. Feeling exhausted but restless.

hopeful that I have found a way to express myself here.

2 am here.  I just woke up again so I decided to watch the business news.

I walked with a friend.  It was good to be out.  

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16 hours ago, sober4life said:

The same thing happened to me recently.  There's no such thing as a comfortable moment with past classmates.  I was the one that had a nervous breakdown and was kicked out of school in 11th grade.  Nobody from school wants to talk to me.

i know we shouldn't compare....but sometimes i feel like they look at me like i'm a loser ..i know they have their problems too..it just hurts.

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5 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

i know we shouldn't compare....but sometimes i feel like they look at me like i'm a loser ..i know they have their problems too..it just hurts.

The truth is they probably don't even remember our name.  I don't remember any of my classmates names.

Edited by sober4life
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