surfcaster Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 3 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said: Day 12 😁am miserable three new hives 🤦♀️🤷♀️ Woo hoo, way to go, one day at a time, so happy you are finding a way to refrain 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlee Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Im picking up the key for my flat and moving in tomorrow and I am so excited to be living on my own 😌 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlee Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 On 8/7/2022 at 9:32 PM, Nightjar said: Well done cherry. I smell the end of self harm 😸 oh Ive also been struggling with this lately, I really try but when the depression and self worth come in... I'm trying 🤞 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depressedgurl007 Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Charlee said: Im picking up the key for my flat and moving in tomorrow and I am so excited to be living on my own 😌 So exciting congratulations! Another milestone reached I would say Edited August 9, 2022 by Depressedgurl007 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depressedgurl007 Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 So I’ve decided I should just switch off my phone while doing house chores cos I’ve become a phone addict again. Yesterday was quite a bad day but today I feel much better. Hope today will be a good day. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 3 hours ago, duck said: Can you visit them in the nursing home? It’s sad you did not see your favourite dog this year. Yes I will visit her. I found out where she is. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epictetus Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Been trending towards a full blown depression but thank goodness I seem to be bouncing back now. One bad thing about depression is that if you have had it once, it is always in the back of your mind that you can fall into the pit again, especially if you were hospitalized. Hugs to everyone here: members and readers who are not members! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellerose2 Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 I’ve had a really great weekend. I experienced things I longed for and things didn’t even realize I’ve needed. I feel like I’m riding a fulfillment high! This evening my anxiety started creeping in a bit. It was easier to set it aside and be present. I know this feeling won’t last forever so I’m trying to milk it. Ps: My previous account was bellerose. I sadly had to create a new one, so here I am as bellerose2 🙂 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon22ae Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 3 hours ago, sober4life said: Yes I will visit her. I found out where she is. I'm sort of amazed by the randomness. I've been looking for places to live and realizing that the simplest things, like a nice sunset or a greenish treeline in the back, make or break the decision to buy a place. It's very bizarre: Random, spur of the moment decisions effect everything. Like the butterfly effect. I wonder how much of this will be read once I'm no more. If the Internet preserves everything, I guess I'm lost in time... like tears in rain. Time to die? I hope God gives me a bit of freedom in the end, though. If. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AloneGuy Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Not terrible. Kinda numb though. I'm trying very hard not to care what other people think about me. It's a frustrating problem I've had for most of my life. I mean really, who cares right? Just gotta live. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene Dunkley Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Right now I feel exhausted like I'm moving so slow I'm almost going backwards. I can barely keep my eyes open but when I close my eyes they flutter because my mind will not turn off. I have never been in this state of exhausting before. I've been feeling like this for the last two weeks and my medication is not helping at all. I do seem to get the basics done like dishes and a little bit of laundry but that's it. I've canceled doctor's appointments cuz I just don't feel like going. I haven't visited family not even my grandchildren who I love more than anything in the world and I know that if I went to see them I would feel better. This is a new state of depression for me and it's worse than my normal depression if that makes any sense. Hoping I can break this cycle soon feeling more hopeless than normal. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 6 hours ago, anon22ae said: I'm sort of amazed by the randomness. I've been looking for places to live and realizing that the simplest things, like a nice sunset or a greenish treeline in the back, make or break the decision to buy a place. It's very bizarre: Random, spur of the moment decisions effect everything. Like the butterfly effect. I wonder how much of this will be read once I'm no more. If the Internet preserves everything, I guess I'm lost in time... like tears in rain. Time to die? I hope God gives me a bit of freedom in the end, though. If. When you find the right place for you it will give you a dopamine rush for whatever reason. I suggest going on your own to the area and looking at the property as much as you can on your own and get that feeling on your own. The process once you're being shown around will be very manipulative. They'll show you only the good features and skip over the bad features and they'll be very charismatic the whole time and pretend to be your best friend. By the end you'll actually feel guilty if you say no to buying if they are good at their job no matter what they're giving you a tour of so like I said go and try to get the feel good feeling on your own first before you take an official tour. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Update on shoulder pain, last night while laying down i raised my arm above my head and felt a large very painful pop, after a few minutes the pain went away, for the rest of the night and now still there is no pain, an occasional ache and burning feeling but no pain, kind of weird, i think maybe cartilage partly torn getting jammed in the joint finally broke off completely and moved away, either way no pain, yay 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 1 hour ago, surfcaster said: Update on shoulder pain, last night while laying down i raised my arm above my head and felt a large very painful pop, after a few minutes the pain went away, for the rest of the night and now still there is no pain, an occasional ache and burning feeling but no pain, kind of weird, i think maybe cartilage partly torn getting jammed in the joint finally broke off completely and moved away, either way no pain, yay YAY! 💃 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Man, if showering before my foot fiasco was like climbing Everest, now it's like launching myself to the moon 😬 Anyway, least I got it done. Next is clothes washing. Hope I can manage narc mom's interference better this time.. Also gonna do some yoga and experiment a little bit with my foot, see what I can do with it now even though I have no freaking idea if I should or not. Maybe just a tiny bit of wiggling and stuff 😬 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 (edited) Currently very frustrated that I asked n.mom to get me my vitamins which I really rely on today and she came back without them. She came over with an attitude when I said 'but I need them today'. No vitamins for me today 🙄 I also asked my sister and she was all like, not today, but tomorrow. So frustrating. I rarely ask anyone for anything. Usually whenever I ask anything of narc mom, it's a no....And bloody hell, couldn't my sister swing by the supermarket for me under the circumstances? I never ask her for anything either 🙄 Anyway, best I hit up the yoga mat else someone gets k*lled 🤦 Edited August 9, 2022 by Nightjar 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 Had an hour of peace on the yoga mat and then all hell broke loose straight afterwards. . Narc mom .....shout, shout shout... basically because I disagreed with her. That's it. She's so freaking abusive. Sheesh 😾 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 1 hour ago, Nightjar said: Had an hour of peace on the yoga mat and then all hell broke loose straight afterwards. . Narc mom .....shout, shout shout... basically because I disagreed with her. That's it. She's so freaking abusive. Sheesh 😾 Sorry you've got to deal with that, is there a countdown on the new home yet 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 1 minute ago, surfcaster said: Sorry you've got to deal with that, is there a countdown on the new home yet 52 days and counting 😸 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 I'm amazed you're able to get a shower! You need a shower chair for a while so you can sit in there while taking a shower. Honestly if it was me and if we were already arguing I would take in a dining room chair.🤭 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 1 hour ago, Nightjar said: 52 days and counting 😸 Awesome, 52 days to freedom and peace 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 42 minutes ago, sober4life said: I'm amazed you're able to get a shower! You need a shower chair for a while so you can sit in there while taking a shower. Honestly if it was me and if we were already arguing I would take in a dining room chair.🤭 That would be funny, would go over like a led zeppelin but funny 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted August 10, 2022 Share Posted August 10, 2022 Not a good day pain from depression more hives from stress but it’s day 13 😁and I don’t think am going to be doing it anymore so I am going to stop what day it is so today the last day of saying that 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AloneGuy Posted August 10, 2022 Share Posted August 10, 2022 Kinda ragged from getting only about 3 hours of sleep last night. I need to reset tonight. It's just hard to sleep well on hot summer nights. Can't wait for fall... it's not too far away. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DialAForAlan Posted August 10, 2022 Share Posted August 10, 2022 Five years later and I still like my physical therapist far more than I should. I've had romantic feelings towards her pretty much since I met her and nothing I do seems to help. I've tried distracting myself as well as repeatedly reminding myself that she's married (and that even if she wasn't it would be unethical for her to be in a relationship with me) but neither thing has helped much in the years I've harbored these feelings. I could and probably should switch to someone else but if I did, I'd end up running the risk of developing the same kind of feelings for the new person. My brain knows I shouldn't act on these feelings but my heart...well, it wants her in ways I can't have. And for the record, I don't intend to ever act on my feelings nor even tell her about them. It's painful to be in love with someone I can't have that I also have to see regularly. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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