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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I think it was stress related and probably a panic attack.  I ate a couple of hours before and really I was only out in the heat for about a half hour.🤔

I get it, have had anxiety driven panic attacks in the past, i thought maybe heat just because it was brutal hot here on the coast today and I've had heat spells in the past because i dont have time to drink I'm busy

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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yes whatever it is usually lasts for a short amount of time.

Thank god. Glad you are ok sober. Please take it easy and be extra kind to yourself for a few days :hugs:

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14 hours ago, sober4life said:

I had a spell again.  I say it that way because that's what they would tell me I'm sure oh you had another spell again didn't you and that's about it.  I felt like I was going to fall over and die outside and I got very short of breath and saw bright lights flashing and the lights became angel wings in the sky.

Glad to hear you are feeling better.  I was worried about you.   

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Good morning Nightjar😀.   I have to see a specialist to get my medications adjusted.  This will take months because of the backlog of patients.  
I hope you have a great weekend.   

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14 minutes ago, duck said:

Good morning Nightjar😀.   I have to see a specialist to get my medications adjusted.  This will take months because of the backlog of patients.  
I hope you have a great weekend.   

Good morning duck 🙂 

I'm glad you're going to see your specialist, sucks that you have to wait though, hope that you can manage till then :hugs:

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2 hours ago, duck said:

Good morning Nightjar😀.   I have to see a specialist to get my medications adjusted.  This will take months because of the backlog of patients.  
I hope you have a great weekend.   

Months? Wow, that's crazy, the ortho i go to is the only doc that way, is it that way with all docs, it really shouldn't take that long

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You know me I love animals but I just saw the biggest snake I've ever seen around here when I was driving.  It was sitting on the side of the road curled up ready to strike and at first I thought what the hell is that?  Is that a python?  I'll be honest I don't want the biggest snake I've ever seen around here to be a supersized rattlesnake!🙀

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Miserable. I'm being worn down to the bone. Narc mom has been trying to jeopardize the sale again. She went and got the owners number, knocked on the door and is now hounding me to back out because she thinks I'm paying too much.  All she has to do is ring that number, start complaining and the sale is done.

I'll do my best to get the number out of her phone tonight but if she wrecks this for me I'm leaving straight away and I'm done..

I'll find a hotel till I can find something to rent and never speak to her again.

...Pretty much feel like we're done after all this anyway.

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Miserable. I'm being worn down to the bone. Narc mom has been trying to jeopardize the sale again. She went and got the owners number, knocked on the door and is now hounding me to back out because she thinks I'm paying too much.  All she has to do is ring that number, start complaining and the sale is done.

I'll do my best to get the number out of her phone tonight but if she wrecks this for me I'm leaving straight away and I'm done..

I'll find a hotel till I can find something to rent and never speak to her again.

...Pretty much feel like we're done after all this anyway.

I know how you feel.  A lot of people would say how could a parent act this way?  Dad did the same thing to me when I was homeless trying to get an apartment so him doing what he did meant I would remain homeless.  Once I made it to the shelter he would even call there asking me for money.  All I'm saying is I've been there and know how you feel.  He didn't stop me though.  I would say get out of there as soon as you can but I also understand how hard that would be.  This will be our whole lives unless we cut them off and don't look back.  It will be things like this over and over and over.:unsure:

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8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Thank god. Glad you are ok sober. Please take it easy and be extra kind to yourself for a few days :hugs:

I worked all day today and I can take a few days to rest now.  If you see that I'm not taking my walks it's never because I gave up.  It's because that's how busy things are.🤯

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On 7/1/2022 at 2:00 AM, Nightjar said:

Argh. Sorry you have the COVID. I hope it passes quickly and easily for you 🌻 Many, many people are having much milder symptoms these days.

Thanks... I guess it could still be a cold or an allergy, but I'll see if I can find a testing kit somewhere. (I heard anybody who needs a test can get a test, so let's hope it's finally the case!)

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Posted (edited)

Something else has been going around this spring and summer.  Everyone I know has been sick from something.  Of course we're back to where we were before the pandemic now though.  I swear my aunt heard a doctor say oh you probably just have the same gunk that everyone else seems to be getting.  She heard that after going through a pandemic for years.  That's where we are though we're back to oh it's probably allergies or oh it's probably the flu.  Scary.:unsure:

Edited by sober4life
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Posted (edited)

I recognise all the emotional abuse from them, yet I still blame myself cos I’m the one not assertive enough to talk to them to place boundaries to make things better. Someone repeatedly keep telling me it’s not my fault, but why do I still feel that it is my fault. My counsellor is not available till Thursday and I feel I’ll be a total mess until then 😞 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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17 hours ago, surfcaster said:

Months? Wow, that's crazy, the ortho i go to is the only doc that way, is it that way with all docs, it really shouldn't take that long

I live in Canada and that's how it is.  I have to get a refferal from my GP first then wait and wait.  

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For the past six months I have a pain in my right thigh.  My doctor said my muscles are weak but he is wrong. My friends say it is sciatica pain.  The Canadian healtcare is joke.  Doctors are not good here.

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On 7/1/2022 at 9:05 AM, ladysmurf said:

As long as they are happy, that would make me happy too..even if it's not with me.

but I don't think I can ever forget the person

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31 minutes ago, duck said:

I was watching sports all morning 😀.                   How’s everyone doing?

Hey duck. I've had a better day today, though I'm tired. I did some exploring in the area I'm moving to and I found some good places to walk 😸

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Hey guys, I deleted the number in narc mom's phone. I felt guilty doing it, but she was stealing it in the first place. It wasn't hers to have. I can rest a bit easier now that I know she can't call the owner if she feels like it.

She seems to have piped down about everything now so I guess she is accepting it in her twisted way. It will likely take a while for her to be ok with it and I guess we won't be talking about it for a good while. She'll probably always have a snarky comment about it 🤔

Anyway, all is still on track for me thankfully and I'm going to start with the beginning of the never ending admin tomorrow. I have a form to send off.

G'nite friends, wishing a good night's sleep for everyone 😘

 

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1 hour ago, duck said:

I was watching sports all morning 😀.                   How’s everyone doing?

I'm still here, aint leaving yet, as fsr as i know anyway,  how's Duck doing

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14 hours ago, duck said:

For the past six months I have a pain in my right thigh.  My doctor said my muscles are weak but he is wrong. My friends say it is sciatica pain.  The Canadian healtcare is joke.  Doctors are not good here.

Come on down south, where you can get the best healthcare in the world... if you can pay, that is! 😂

That's the healthcare dilemma -- either it's government-provided and free but awful, or privately offered and expensive but excellent. Having lived in places where one or the other was the case, I can't say which is better (or worse)! 😐

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On 7/2/2022 at 11:05 AM, sober4life said:

You know me I love animals but I just saw the biggest snake I've ever seen around here when I was driving.  It was sitting on the side of the road curled up ready to strike and at first I thought what the hell is that?  Is that a python?  I'll be honest I don't want the biggest snake I've ever seen around here to be a supersized rattlesnake!🙀

Some of the bull snakes can get HUGE. I saw one that was probably 9 feet long in southern Kansas. I think it was trying to build a nest in the rock-hard ground. It kept sliding the front 1/3 of its body across the same area, trying to "scoop." Unfortunately it wasn't making any progress. I felt kinda bad for it but didn't want to stop and help.

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I'm in an unhappy state of mind right now.

Since I suffer an extreme startle response and panic attacks, the American Fourth of July holiday celebrations are not a good time for me.  The light shows are fine but the loud fireworks, some illegal,  make me really miserable. 

In my state the loud firecrackers can go on for a month.  It doesn't help that neighbor problems seem to cause some of my neighbors to use firecrackers in a mean-spirited way

Earplugs and white noise help a little. 

Wish I had enough money to stay at a downtown 5-star hotel for the whole month of July, the kind of hotel with sound-deadening walls and windows.

Since I live in a wooden cabin, the holiday also leaves me on edge.

Hugs to everyone.  Sorry to be a party pooper.

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