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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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I’m still down, still at 0%, still can’t talk to anyone, still being an idiot, I still don’t know what I want, I still can’t die, I’m full of crap, I hate people, people hate me, still can’t move on, still my fault. 

I forgot how to be kind n compassionate to myself and love myself. It’s silly going through therapy and knowing the theory and yet I’m still here like this. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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1 hour ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I’m still down, still at 0%, still can’t talk to anyone, still being an idiot, I still don’t know what I want, I still can’t die, I’m full of crap, I hate people, people hate me, still can’t move on, still my fault. 

I forgot how to be kind n compassionate to myself and love myself. It’s silly going through therapy and knowing the theory and yet I’m still here like this. 

Yeah, it's hard when you know what should help you but you just can't let it sink in, self loathing gets in the way because we believe we deserve  it which is not the case, sometimes we think people hate us when really they just don't understand and steer clear

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On 6/17/2022 at 4:44 PM, JD4010 said:

Oops, yes...our @sober4life identifies as a she. I'm so absent minded. Probably because I pickled my brain for so many years (until she inspired me to stop doing it).

I wouldn't have made it to this point without your friendship.  You were an angel I found on my journey of life.  I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you.  Thank you.  You don't have to apologize for anything.

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On 6/17/2022 at 2:54 PM, JD4010 said:

I used to have BP that low...in that measure, you are doing very well, my friend.

I need to dump off about 25-lbs myself. Problem is, carbs make me "happy." I used to enjoy working out but now it's painful. And, being a polar bear, I sweat too easily. Even in freezing weather I can work up a sweat quickly. I guess I'd do well during an ice age but unfortunately for me (and billions of others), the Earth is warming instead.

Thank you Brother!    I gave been on meds for High BP for three years.  I would like to lose another fifty pounds and drop to 180.  I need to walk more but no motivation.

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

Well I'm back!🤪

Welcome back!  We missed you!  😃

How was your trip?

Edited by duck
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On 6/18/2022 at 1:25 PM, evalynn said:

Worried about our family get-together tomorrow (for Father's Day) because we're meeting at a time earlier than I've been getting up lately. And when I get up at my late usual time, I feel like crap--achy, still tired, anxious. I only get out of bed because I have to take care of my dog. But tomorrow I'll have to get up at least 3 hours earlier than this usual time, be dressed and presentable, and act like a functioning human being when I'll probably be so achy and sleepy. I hate that. I hate that I'm at the point where normal, everyday things that should be fun are hard and cause for me to feel stressed. I'm sick of being so tired, achy, depressed and worried all the time lately. I can't even remember what it's like to not feel this way. Summer always hits me hard, but this year I feel terrible. It's probably a mix of my athritis, being overweight and out of shape (I barely move during the day when I can help it), and being on the depressed side of my bipolar disorder this time of year. I hate that I dread everyday, and that I feel so dependent on my husband. He's working later than usual today and I'm sad about it. I just feel like I'm barely hanging on, and I don't see when I'll get any relief. I wish I could afford therapy or get myself off the couch at night to work out like I used to but neither of those things are happening anytime soon. I just feel hopeless. 

How are you doing?  How was the family get together?  HUGS 🤗

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Morning everyone....We've got new people in above us at mom's apartment which means more noise and less sleep 😫

Just when sleep was better too ugh .... So, tired today but could be worse I guess..I did get some sleep.

I'm going to see my (hopefully) new house today. Hope I can be positive through the tiredness and we can gauge some progress...so far things haven't been moving.

Have a good day today folks 😘

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2 hours ago, duck said:

Welcome back!  We missed you!  😃

How was your trip?

Thanks.  I loved it.  My favorite thing was feeding the giraffes at the zoo.  That was amazing!  It was very hot this year in Texas.  One day was 113°F!

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Morning everyone....We've got new people in above us at mom's apartment which means more noise and less sleep 😫

Just when sleep was better too ugh .... So, tired today but could be worse I guess..I did get some sleep.

I'm going to see my (hopefully) new house today. Hope I can be positive through the tiredness and we can gauge some progress...so far things haven't been moving.

Have a good day today folks 😘

I hope today's house is the one.  Good luck!  I want you to have some peace and happiness.❤️

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4 minutes ago, surfcaster said:

Hope you enjoyed yourself, it's nice to get away from time to time 

Thanks.  Things are starting to get better.  My brother and I used to be best friends growing up.  Every year my trip is to go visit him.  I think things are heading back in that direction.  I think I'll probably end up moving near him at some point.🤔

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4 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thanks.  Things are starting to get better.  My brother and I used to be best friends growing up.  Every year my trip is to go visit him.  I think things are heading back in that direction.  I think I'll probably end up moving near him at some point.🤔

Hey, that sounds great sober. You always sound so positive when you've been to visit your brother. Moving to be closer to him could mean that positivity could be yours more often 🥰

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4 hours ago, sober4life said:

I hope today's house is the one.  Good luck!  I want you to have some peace and happiness.❤️

Thanks sober. Well it's not perfect by any means but I like it and I think I could make it into a lovely place. It looks like we're going ahead. So far so good 👍

Best part of course, is that it's got a porch 😂 and there was a l'il cat in the garden 😁

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9 hours ago, duck said:

How are you doing?  How was the family get together?  HUGS 🤗

It wasn't bad! I did feel achy and terrible when I got up, but we got a ride from my dad and I felt better than expected for the next few hours. I was surprised by how I pulled through. Thanks for asking. 

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It's very hard.  I believe someone young in my life is going through the same thing I went through.  I think it's the reason they are acting out right now as well.  I wonder what someone could have said or done to stop all the hell I went through.  Was there something they could have said?  Would I have trusted them or taken their help?  It's really messing me up right now thinking about it.☹️

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18 hours ago, sober4life said:

I wouldn't have made it to this point without your friendship.  You were an angel I found on my journey of life.  I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you.  Thank you.  You don't have to apologize for anything.

I see you as an angel as well. I wouldn't be alive either. I look back at the posts in the substance abuse forum and can't believe I'm still here.

Thanks my dear friend.

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I am feeling groggy all day. What’s with that?  I am tired of feeling like this.   I am on too many medications.   

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5 hours ago, evalynn said:

It wasn't bad! I did feel achy and terrible when I got up, but we got a ride from my dad and I felt better than expected for the next few hours. I was surprised by how I pulled through. Thanks for asking. 

Glad to hear it worked out okay.    😀

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13 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thanks.  I loved it.  My favorite thing was feeding the giraffes at the zoo.  That was amazing!  It was very hot this year in Texas.  One day was 113°F!

113 F is way too hot for me.  Good to hear you enjoyed your trip 😀

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On 6/19/2022 at 8:10 PM, sober4life said:

Well I'm back!🤪

That is a plus! Sadly, I'm not (sober at this particular juncture, at least). Nonetheless, you've been an inspiration to become so! 👍

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6 hours ago, duck said:

I am feeling groggy all day. What’s with that?  I am tired of feeling like this.   I am on too many medications.   

I ate a whole bag of marshmallows without realizing it, so I'm in the same boat of sorts. The glucose must've spiked through the roof and then some. Nonetheless, we can always recover.

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1 hour ago, anon22ae said:

I ate a whole bag of marshmallows without realizing it, so I'm in the same boat of sorts. The glucose must've spiked through the roof and then some. Nonetheless, we can always recover.

Marshmallows = yummy 

I was feeling crappy so I went to bed at 8 pm and slept until 1 am.   Now I am wide awake.  This is not good. I hope both of us find some peace soon.  

Edited by duck
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