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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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32 minutes ago, jkd_sd said:

@sober4life, so sorry you are going through the nasty stress.  Is it related to the job you wrote about?

No the job never happened to be honest.  All I can handle doing for now is odd jobs.  The idea that I could handle a 12 hour shift was the manic me talking.  I don't know if I could ever handle a 12 hour shift.

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6 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

I think it was there to begin with. At least since humanity became the top dog.

Good riddance if we get wiped out.

I can't disagree with that.

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21 hours ago, watalife said:

I feel like the world has gone to hell

That's not even the scary part.  The scary part is that no one even noticed!

Yes, we are all in this together, whether we admit it or not.  The question is whether or not we will work together. 

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

It's possible to get a good life from here but do I even care anymore now that mom is gone?  I could get a good life but it's much more likely that this is it.  It's most likely over at this point.

did this happen recently, sober?? I'm very sorry to hear it! Hang in there! Things could still turn around, but i have kinda been thinking similar thoughts lately myself...I mean, i have a pretty decent life, but hope for my dreams seems likely over maybe.

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5 hours ago, anxiousE said:

did this happen recently, sober?? I'm very sorry to hear it! Hang in there! Things could still turn around, but i have kinda been thinking similar thoughts lately myself...I mean, i have a pretty decent life, but hope for my dreams seems likely over maybe.

I don't have dreams anymore.  I'm the weird creature that lives in the woods that god should have put down a long time ago.

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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

I don't have dreams anymore.  I'm the weird creature that lives in the woods that god should have put down a long time ago.

there's got to be something inspires you sober, maybe something you've always dreamed of doing..? maybe something you and your mother talked about,?

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Great! I'm the one that no one ever calls or invites to get together. Only person that does wants me to do her housework from top to bottom. Dad only calls before bed so he feels he has done his part as a father. Pathetic. Everyone is fake these days. In person it's I love you blah blah and then never see or hear from them. Fake. If I could be fake I could get somewhere.

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2 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

there's got to be something inspires you sober, maybe something you've always dreamed of doing..? maybe something you and your mother talked about,?

Yes I talked about wanting to have a family of my own but it's not as simple as pushing a button on a vending machine.  If you're a weird monster that nobody wants to be with then that dream is over.  I look healthy but after a few seconds of talking to me people head for the hills because I'm nuts.

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In a word, stupid. I've always been a sucker for nostalgia and I can have rose tinted specs, just not about the present or the future. I know I'm looking at the past differently, from such a messed up time. I know it's illogical, I know anxiety and depression are but they still happen. What do you do.

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31 minutes ago, RichW said:

and I can have rose tinted specs, just not about the present or the future.

Yeah, I know what you mean.  Do not know if this is helpful, but I finally figured out why I tend to do this.  When remembering the past, I know how things compare between then and now.  So, I recognize and appreciate the good things from 'then'.  What I do not (usually) remember is that I did not appreciate those good things 'then'.  When I look at now and the future, I do not have the 'how things are gonna be' to compare with.  So, I fail to recognize what 'now' things will seem good later.   (And if you followed that winding trail, you have evidently not had enough to drink today.  😉)

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Life since mom left this house has been a complete nightmare.  Every single second I feel like screaming and ripping out every piece of hair I have.  It's been complete hell!  I can't take this anymore but there is no end.  It keeps going and going and going with no good times in sight!

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Life since mom left this house has been a complete nightmare.  Every single second I feel like screaming and ripping out every piece of hair I have.  It's been complete hell!  I can't take this anymore but there is no end.  It keeps going and going and going with no good times in sight!

I’m so sorry that you are going through difficult times and yes, it is hard to get over losing a parent.  I know because I lost my dad coming upon six years but it still doesn’t get any easier.  We just accept it and keep on moving 

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