Jump to content

How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

On 5/18/2022 at 4:36 PM, JD4010 said:

The only thing I truly enjoy now is isolation. There's no place I'd rather be than in my dump of an apartment, surrounded by my books and having my two kitties hanging around with me.

I dread going out and being around people. Had to take my car in for an oil change today. I was in the waiting room and a well-dressed, middle-management type came barging in. She was talking very loudly on her phone, apparently berating an employee that works for her. This went on for 15 minutes. We all had to listen to her nastiness. I really wanted to grab her phone and throw it out into the middle of the busy street.

This seems to be happening everywhere…people on their phones in the middle of a crowded place talking loudly, some even on speaker phones. And they don’t seem to care that they are a huge distraction and that everyone can hear their business. Loud phone conversations have been an anxiety trigger for me for awhile…I have worked with a number of people in the past who were super annoying while on the phone.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am pretty jaded and cynical and in general don’t have much hope at all but I have to say I am pretty moved by the response that has occured in my area after the horrible thing that happened here recently. Despite all the bad and doom and gloom…there is still some good and decency left out there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree.  I'm very cynical but I'll admit there is some good in the world.  All the local fire departments around here are volunteer fire departments.  That proves there are good people in the world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/18/2022 at 1:36 PM, JD4010 said:

The only thing I truly enjoy now is isolation. There's no place I'd rather be than in my dump of an apartment, surrounded by my books and having my two kitties hanging around with me.

I dread going out and being around people. Had to take my car in for an oil change today. I was in the waiting room and a well-dressed, middle-management type came barging in. She was talking very loudly on her phone, apparently berating an employee that works for her. This went on for 15 minutes. We all had to listen to her nastiness. I really wanted to grab her phone and throw it out into the middle of the busy street.

Yes, a cabin in the middle of nowhere sounds best. Unfortunately, it takes some means to get to such freedom.

You could covertly film the obnoxious individual and send it to one of those YouTube fail or people meltdown channels. There's no law against taking video in public, contrary to what such obnoxious individuals often try to claim when they realize their nastiness will be there for the world to see forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Yes, a cabin in the middle of nowhere sounds best. Unfortunately, it takes some means to get to such freedom.

Not Really. I have that such isolation and my closest neighbor lives just 1/3 of a mile away. Step outside of the major metropolitan cities and join rural America and you'll see that simple isolation is rather simple. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm very cynical but I'll admit there is some good in the world.  All the local fire departments around here are volunteer fire departments.  That proves there are good people in the world.

Unfortunately they are extremely rare, like 1 in 300 million people are good instead of more horrible than Putin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Something is kicking my but today, extreme fatigue,  headache and just general run down feeling, i thought the lyme treatment would be working better by now, idk, just ugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're supposed to keep your wits about you here.  So far it's been cloudy and grey and pouring down rain and it looks almost dark at lunch and it's 65 degrees.  Now it's going to quickly have the sun come out and heat up to almost 90 degrees before bed.:unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

why do i keep bothering ?

I ask myself that very question every day. Because of my spinal injury, I'm hurting in some manner every day. 1/2 the time I'm bleeding from an anal fistula that I've had 2 failed surgeries to correct. The numbness in my hands and feet progresses a little more every day. The hand tremors, lack of balance, memory loss, depression and extreme insomnia may or may not be the early signs of Parkinson's. Then finish that all off with the loss of my wife of 22 years, lack of a social circle or family and all the normal daily problems that just come one after another and sit on top like a cherry...

I look up into the sky every day I go down to the mailbox and back asking that question and the only reason I can come up with is that nobody would take care of my dogs if I did take that last step.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to this forum@arizonadad. Sorry you are dealing with this. I can understand some of what you are feeling, and hope the Effexor can get back up to speed quickly. 
the loneliness is especially hard, particularly as you don’t want the kids to suffer. My kids are 16 and 18 and aware of what I am going through, but that doesn’t avoid the guilt I feel towards subjecting them to my condition, TR Clinical depression and anxiety. Everyday is a challenge, one of my sons lives with me. Hope you find sharing helps, everyone on this forum is experiencing something and yet will offer words of support to others. A nice bunch

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anxious, a bit guilty, but actually better than I was feeling an hour ago when I was having a bit of an anxiety attack. I just feel like, once I get into these spirals, that they'll never end. I get myself so worked up worrying about things that I feel paralyzed. I literally freeze up and can't even get anything done, eat, or focus on anything else until the feelings start to dissipate on their own. I'm way overdo on learning some self-soothing tips that actually work for me. Deep breathing only does so much. I still haven't eaten today, and I don't even feel hungry yet. I just want to continue sitting here and focusing on the story I'm trying to read until I'm 100% back to normal (or normal enough for me). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is no self soothing for me or back to normal.  Every morning I get on a ride and hope it doesn't crash or maybe hope the crash is bad enough this is all over once and for all.  Either way is good enough.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

why do i keep bothering ?

I also ask this regularly. The only answer is that a solution must exist, one way or another. There's always hope. Either way, none of this will have mattered down the line, especially when the sun finally burns out in some billions of years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Frankensense said:

Not Really. I have that such isolation and my closest neighbor lives just 1/3 of a mile away. Step outside of the major metropolitan cities and join rural America and you'll see that simple isolation is rather simple. 

I've gone out there regularly in the past and always wanted just to stay there, if there had been a way... In any case, I fondly remember the isolation at my grandparents' farmhouse in my childhood (eons ago). Water was from a well and the bathroom hung over the compost heap, yet those are some of my best memories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, anon22ae said:

I've gone out there regularly in the past and always wanted just to stay there, if there had been a way... In any case, I fondly remember the isolation at my grandparents' farmhouse in my childhood (eons ago). Water was from a well and the bathroom hung over the compost heap, yet those are some of my best memories.

Well, I run on a lagoon system here...but everything else was right on target...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, sober4life said:

I'll never go back to the city again.  My best friends here in the country are cows, horses and deer and it will be that way until the end.

Me either...Bought this property in the middle of nowhere in 2009 so I didn't have to deal with the big city problems that everyone is just starting to experience today...

..and the cows who live next to my property are very happy also...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Well, narc sis struck again last night. I had a whole load of abuse out of nowhere by text. 

I was so angry after all of the support I have given her for her long list of dramas. She launched a complete character assassination because I declined to have her cat overnight (I have issues with sleep and her cat would wake me early so said no, sorry).

I woke up with tears in my eyes this morning. Any understanding or support I felt I had from her has been ripped away with all of the things she said and the way she put me down.

It brought back some horrible memories of previous attacks by her where she would fly into vindictive outbursts. 

I blocked her and we're done for the foreseeable future.

Edited by Nightjar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Well, narc sis struck again last night. I had a whole load of abuse out of nowhere by text. 

I was so angry after all of the support I have given her for her long list of dramas. She launched a complete character assassination because I declined to have her cat overnight (I have issues with sleep and her cat would wake me early so said no, sorry).

I woke up with tears in my eyes this morning. Any understanding or support I felt I had from her has been ripped away with all of the things she said and the way she put me down.

It brought back some horrible memories of previous attacks by her where she would fly into vindictive outbursts. 

I blocked her and we're done for the foreseeable future.

Oh no, I'm sorry you had to go through that, i just don't know what to say, ( hugs )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

It's the story of my life surfcaster. How are you doing?

It's probably a very hard situation.  I'm sure you love the cat because you love animals like I do but I'm sure they are trying to take advantage of that fact and make you the full time babysitter.  Family like to try to use me like that too.😒

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...