Jump to content

How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

I have been trying to build a small deck at the back of the house but have been stumped by anxiety and depression and in particular a row of bolts I had to install. Well I installed 9 out of the thirteen required so I am feeling pleased with my effort today. Goes without saying that Im picking on myself for not finishing them all…….

Well done! Good job on doing the part that you've been dreading. And you can finish the rest another day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've always felt like an outsider with family but the older I get the more I realize they were all probably just like me.  In the last 25 years 10 family members have passed away and 9 of them lost their minds at the end.  I know now that they were just like me pretending to be normal pretending to be like everyone else until they couldn't do it anymore.  They were mentally ill their whole lives like me.  I mean I really have to look at myself and say if I'm this bad how could the rest of them really be normal?  Is it even possible?

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I've always felt like an outsider with family but the older I get the more I realize they were all probably just like me.  In the last 25 years 10 family members have passed away and 9 of them lost their minds at the end.  I know now that they were just like me pretending to be normal pretending to be like everyone else until they couldn't do it anymore.  They were mentally ill their whole lives like me.  I mean I really have to look at myself and say if I'm this bad how could the rest of them really be normal?  Is it even possible?

Yes, I know what you mean. A lot of my family members have anxiety, depression and the rest.... But because I was in hospital once I guess I get the gold medal and no one really lets me forget it... 

Tbh these days, most people are struggling with this to one degree or another. You're certainly not alone. Its just that people keep their mouths shut about it to avoid the stigma 🤐

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Morning duck 😁 how u doin today? 

I am having a few rough days.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  

Last week I filed my income tax return and I also completed the insurance forms and mailed it to them.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, duck said:

I am having a few rough days.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  

Last week I filed my income tax return and I also completed the insurance forms and mailed it to them.  

Ah, sorry to hear. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that tomorrow is better 🤞

Good work on the forms 😁

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I had a great day yesterday, ie: I managed to relax. Consequently, sleep was pretty good last night. This should make today a good day too but narc mom has upset me and made me feel so insecure.. 

She started by trying to micro manage me and telling me which make up I should be using and which clothes I should be buying (standard behaviour) ... Then, after I said no to a couple of her 'suggestions' about how I should spend my day she turned the shower off at the mains before leaving to spite me. 

The shower thing upset me more than anything. All the rest is 'normal'. I just thought that the shower thing was so controlling and spiteful. With all of the things she does to me, I still respect her, her space and her stuff. Her right to live... She doesn't respect my right to shower today... 

Lucky for me I'm not stupid and I went straight to the mains to turn it on. So I got showered. A lot of people wouldn't have known to do that and spent the day dirty. Probably staying in as a result. That was probably her desired outcome. 

The hatred is bubbling up again today. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, sober4life said:

I've always felt like an outsider with family but the older I get the more I realize they were all probably just like me.  In the last 25 years 10 family members have passed away and 9 of them lost their minds at the end.  I know now that they were just like me pretending to be normal pretending to be like everyone else until they couldn't do it anymore.  They were mentally ill their whole lives like me.  I mean I really have to look at myself and say if I'm this bad how could the rest of them really be normal?  Is it even possible?

Good insight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Well I had a great day yesterday, ie: I managed to relax. Consequently, sleep was pretty good last night. This should make today a good day too but narc mom has upset me and made me feel so insecure.. 

She started by trying to micro manage me and telling me which make up I should be using and which clothes I should be buying (standard behaviour) ... Then, after I said no to a couple of her 'suggestions' about how I should spend my day she turned the shower off at the mains before leaving to spite me. 

The shower thing upset me more than anything. All the rest is 'normal'. I just thought that the shower thing was so controlling and spiteful. With all of the things she does to me, I still respect her, her space and her stuff. Her right to live... She doesn't respect my right to shower today... 

Lucky for me I'm not stupid and I went straight to the mains to turn it on. So I got showered. A lot of people wouldn't have known to do that and spent the day dirty. Probably staying in as a result. That was probably her desired outcome. 

The hatred is bubbling up again today. 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Sending a hug.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Well I had a great day yesterday, ie: I managed to relax. Consequently, sleep was pretty good last night. This should make today a good day too but narc mom has upset me and made me feel so insecure.. 

She started by trying to micro manage me and telling me which make up I should be using and which clothes I should be buying (standard behaviour) ... Then, after I said no to a couple of her 'suggestions' about how I should spend my day she turned the shower off at the mains before leaving to spite me. 

The shower thing upset me more than anything. All the rest is 'normal'. I just thought that the shower thing was so controlling and spiteful. With all of the things she does to me, I still respect her, her space and her stuff. Her right to live... She doesn't respect my right to shower today... 

Lucky for me I'm not stupid and I went straight to the mains to turn it on. So I got showered. A lot of people wouldn't have known to do that and spent the day dirty. Probably staying in as a result. That was probably her desired outcome. 

The hatred is bubbling up again today. 

i know how hard it is to live that way, but, you can't control her actions but you can control how you react to them, she is obviously trying to persuade you to react in a certain way, she may even be trying to get you to  lose your composure, then she wins, you know what is good for you, do that and don't let her win, yeah, really hard to keep composure i know, just keep doing you, before long you will be living on your own and all will be solely under your control 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, surfcaster said:

i know how hard it is to live that way, but, you can't control her actions but you can control how you react to them, she is obviously trying to persuade you to react in a certain way, she may even be trying to get you to  lose your composure, then she wins, you know what is good for you, do that and don't let her win, yeah, really hard to keep composure i know, just keep doing you, before long you will be living on your own and all will be solely under your control 

Thanks surfcaster. I keep telling myself that I will be gone soon but it's been delays, delays, delays...I am thinking that I will likely dive into rented ASAP because a third breakdown caused by her may be something I can't recover from that easily. 

I can't do anything longterm till the sale goes through. I might go and rent somewhere for a month or so in the interim though... I might be able to cover it 🤔 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

I don't know. Is there a way to calm it or does it have to run it's course? 

Umm you can get meds from the doctor besides that I don’t know

i don’t see my doctor for two weeks and no way of getting in sooner 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

25 minutes ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Umm you can get meds from the doctor besides that I don’t know

i don’t see my doctor for two weeks and no way of getting in sooner 

I see. I guess then in that case,  I might speak to someone and say it's an emergency and you need to get those meds? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today I was hit over the head with grief for Alan. I was fine for the last month or so but today, not so much.

I'm actively trying not to cry and I just wish my bed would swallow me whole. That is,  I want to disappear for awhile or until I feel better (whichever happens first).

Edited by DialAForAlan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Well I think am going into mania not sure what to do

Oh no, remember no crazy decisions, no big spends and nothing else you might regret when the buzz passes. Do you get these often or do you feel like you’re going into a week or more of mania? Hugs 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw a baby mouse on my walk today crossing the road of all things.  I think it was still unable to see anything because they're born blind and she was stumbling all over the place.  I didn't know what to do.  I kept scraping my foot on the road to scare it to get it off the road but half the time it would come my way.  I knew I couldn't touch it or the mom would abandon it if she didn't already do that.  I finally got her off the road.  Her only hope was finding her way back to her mom.:sniffle1:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...